Should I reach out to him?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 10, 2015 11:57 PM GMT
    In highschool, an incident happened where I was rushed to the ER and went to a cardiologist to get checked out.

    My father brought me.

    As I am laying on my back, the cardiologist is putting this cold stethoscope thingy on my chest and his elbow is on my crotch. I start to get aroused and he pushes deeper into my crotch. I thought it was my imagination.

    Anyway, I remember thinking he was attractive. (Think James Marsden.) He gave me a clean bill of health and said I had the heart of an Olympic runner. (I ran track)

    That was senior year of highschool, 2007.

    Fast forward to last year. My mother, a medicial professional randomly tells me the cardiologist asked about me. Apparently he's her co-worker and he remembered me and that I should come in for a checkup, because he was looking at my files and bla bla bla.

    I don't believe this as I haven't been in since 2007, was fine in 2007 and he suddenly saw something on my files?

    I think he knew I was underage, I am now legal and possibly remembered my last name as he now works with my mother.

    Am I being arrogant?

    Should I "schedule an appointment"?

    Thoughts, please.
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    Feb 11, 2015 4:21 PM GMT
    WhyisHeGayThen saidIn highschool, an incident happened where I was rushed to the ER and went to a cardiologist to get checked out.

    My father brought me.

    As I am laying on my back, the cardiologist is putting this cold stethoscope thingy on my chest and his elbow is on my crotch. I start to get aroused and he pushes deeper into my crotch. I thought it was my imagination.

    Anyway, I remember thinking he was attractive. (Think James Marsden.) He gave me a clean bill of health and said I had the heart of an Olympic runner. (I ran track)

    That was senior year of highschool, 2007.

    Fast forward to last year. My mother, a medicial professional randomly tells me the cardiologist asked about me. Apparently he's her co-worker and he remembered me and that I should come in for a checkup, because he was looking at my files and bla bla bla.

    I don't believe this as I haven't been in since 2007, was fine in 2007 and he suddenly saw something on my files?

    I think he knew I was underage, I am now legal and possibly remembered my last name as he now works with my mother.

    Am I being arrogant?

    Should I "schedule an appointment"?

    Thoughts, please.


    I wouldn't call it arrogant, but if there's any "reaching out" to be done, you'll be the one who'll have to do it in light of the MD's ethical and professional obligations. If you're comfortable doing so, you might ask your mom to be an intermediary, but I wouldn't schedule an appt., as that would constitute an abuse of the MD's professional obligations on your part. Either way, good luck!
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    Feb 11, 2015 11:59 PM GMT
    Assuming you have no reason to actually see a cardiologist, reaching out to him implies that you're interested in him (for whatever purpose of your choice). Since he's personally told your mum you should go in for a check up, I suggest you do so and see how he behaves. If he's strictly professional then maybe he just thought you could do with a check up or if he seems to imply something else then it's your call to act on it or not.

    I'd also take into consideration whether you have to pay for a visit though: I wouldn't pay for a doctor's visit just because I want to go out with a guy lol

    Just a thought on the side - do you think you'd be ok going out with your mum's colleague?
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    Feb 12, 2015 12:59 AM GMT
    Woah - lots of odd stuff here.

    FIRST of all, I would see WHY he wants to get you "checked out". I'd be rather cautious about seeing any doctor that had "touched me" more than expected (unless you imagined it...?) for any reason. That's just creepy to me.

    This is not a porn fantasy - this is the real world medical community.

    What about getting a non-physical CONSULT instead and then seeing another in-network cardiologist - making sure all was ok, which you could tell him post-facto... over coffee if he was leading that way.

    Be careful with all of this - especially since he works with your MOM. Seriously. Caution here - this sounds far too "General Hospital".

    My .02 cents.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 12, 2015 2:28 AM GMT
    If by "date him" you mean slash his tires, sure, go for it.

    He took advantage of his position and of a minor.

    Why would you want to date scum?
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    Feb 12, 2015 5:13 AM GMT
    If he was a psychiatrist I'd say yes reach out to him for counseling. You're crazy if you pursue this.
  • SilverRRCloud

    Posts: 872

    Feb 12, 2015 5:44 AM GMT
    I doubt that you really want to schedule a formal appointment there.

    Why wouldn't you try to go over to your Mom's place of work and bump into the dude, IF you are interested in seeing him. Informally, just say 'hi, I heard you were kinda concerned, but I am feeling well.'

    You'll see his reaction to this. And pick it up from there...

    A few posters pointed out that he works together with your Mom which is likely to complicate the things if you are DATING?

    Now, if you'll hold your horses for a moment... who spoke about DATING?

    You have a vague memory of something that may or may not have happened. You also have a very vague impression that the guy, (who you seem to remember as being attractive in 2007) may be interested in seeing you for a scantily defined reason? And we have already started talking DATING here? Ain't this a bit far-fetched?

    SC
  • Vivi_Carol

    Posts: 40

    Feb 12, 2015 5:46 AM GMT
    reach the hell out to me mists of Avalon is what you should be doin!icon_evil.gif
  • TheBaise

    Posts: 363

    Feb 12, 2015 8:15 AM GMT
    No appointment. You don't want to go down the road of doctor/patient. He can't see you socially or as friends if you're his patient. Dude what I'd do is drop by your mom's office and bump into him / and strike up a convo. If there's any spark / go to lunch or dinner with him. If you don't check out the situation / you'll get nothing good. What have you got to lose?
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    Feb 12, 2015 9:25 AM GMT

    Am I being arrogant?

    Should I "schedule an appointment"?

    Thoughts, please.[/quote]

    More like desperate. Stop the wishful thinking and start doing something concrete like take care of your health
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    Feb 12, 2015 12:44 PM GMT
    If anything in this entire fantasy is try....the Doctor and your mom have violated HIPPA Laws by even discussing your health in a casual manner without your permission. This story needs a re-write....and NO do NOT see or schedule with this cardiologist. His ethics seem to be a bit lax....If you need a checkup, find a different Doctor.....and tell mum to not discuss your health with anyone but you. NOT BUYING THIS STORY AS TOLD.
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    Feb 12, 2015 1:20 PM GMT
    This is an issue of a doctor's ethics more than anything else, since from your age on your profile page, you're not a minor in 2007, but you were 18-19 year old.
    If you're really interested in him, I suggest just do what SilveRRCloud said, "accidentally" bump into him while visiting your mom at work.
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    Feb 12, 2015 5:18 PM GMT
    Sporty_G saidIf anything in this entire fantasy is try....the Doctor and your mom have violated HIPPA Laws by even discussing your health in a casual manner without your permission. This story needs a re-write....and NO do NOT see or schedule with this cardiologist. His ethics seem to be a bit lax....If you need a checkup, find a different Doctor.....and tell mum to not discuss your health with anyone but you. NOT BUYING THIS STORY AS TOLD.

    icon_lol.gificon_lol.gificon_lol.gif
    I so love working in health care...

    If I had a dollar for every Pt. that was sexually inappropriate with me I'd be able to get that big "Punisher" decal for the hood of my truck.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 13, 2015 4:18 AM GMT
    Sporty_G saidIf anything in this entire fantasy is try....the Doctor and your mom have violated HIPPA Laws by even discussing your health in a casual manner without your permission. This story needs a re-write....and NO do NOT see or schedule with this cardiologist. His ethics seem to be a bit lax....If you need a checkup, find a different Doctor.....and tell mum to not discuss your health with anyone but you. NOT BUYING THIS STORY AS TOLD.


    Dum
    If you want to go down the road of abusing his authority, I'd point out that
    1. according to his profile, he would have been over 18 in 2007.
    2. "I start to get aroused and he pushes deeper into my crotch." kind of sounds like a 2-way thing here
    (It remains an unprofessional behaviour nonetheless).

    If you want to go down the road of privacy, you are crazy. 2 doctors talking about a former pt/son? Sounds legit to me. Even more so since he was healthy in 2007. Not talking about the law, I don't know what the regulations are in the US, but I don't find any violation of privacy worth talking about here.
  • venue35

    Posts: 4644

    Feb 13, 2015 11:59 AM GMT
    Looks like James Mardsen???
    Book an appointment immediately.
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    Feb 13, 2015 12:08 PM GMT
    Vivi_Carol saidreach the hell out to me mists of Avalon is what you should be doin!icon_evil.gif


    Tell Anjelica Huston I said "hi".
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    Feb 13, 2015 12:10 PM GMT
    canadian_stud said
    Am I being arrogant?

    Should I "schedule an appointment"?

    Thoughts, please.


    More like desperate. Stop the wishful thinking and start doing something concrete like take care of your health [/quote]

    Desperate, I am not.

    If nothing was wrong with my heart then and I haven't back, I don't see what could be suddenly wrong with it, now.
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    Feb 13, 2015 12:12 PM GMT
    Italian_MS saidAssuming you have no reason to actually see a cardiologist, reaching out to him implies that you're interested in him (for whatever purpose of your choice). Since he's personally told your mum you should go in for a check up, I suggest you do so and see how he behaves. If he's strictly professional then maybe he just thought you could do with a check up or if he seems to imply something else then it's your call to act on it or not.

    I'd also take into consideration whether you have to pay for a visit though: I wouldn't pay for a doctor's visit just because I want to go out with a guy lol

    Just a thought on the side - do you think you'd be ok going out with your mum's colleague?


    I'm not interested in dating him. I was just wondering if I should schedule an appointment. I was also hoping somebody with medical experience could tell me if his claims make any sense.

    I put this in the "Dating" forum, as there isn't a "friendship" forum, and this didn't seem to fit under "sex".
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    Feb 13, 2015 12:13 PM GMT
    MGINSD said
    WhyisHeGayThen saidIn highschool, an incident happened where I was rushed to the ER and went to a cardiologist to get checked out.

    My father brought me.

    As I am laying on my back, the cardiologist is putting this cold stethoscope thingy on my chest and his elbow is on my crotch. I start to get aroused and he pushes deeper into my crotch. I thought it was my imagination.

    Anyway, I remember thinking he was attractive. (Think James Marsden.) He gave me a clean bill of health and said I had the heart of an Olympic runner. (I ran track)

    That was senior year of highschool, 2007.

    Fast forward to last year. My mother, a medicial professional randomly tells me the cardiologist asked about me. Apparently he's her co-worker and he remembered me and that I should come in for a checkup, because he was looking at my files and bla bla bla.

    I don't believe this as I haven't been in since 2007, was fine in 2007 and he suddenly saw something on my files?

    I think he knew I was underage, I am now legal and possibly remembered my last name as he now works with my mother.

    Am I being arrogant?

    Should I "schedule an appointment"?

    Thoughts, please.


    I wouldn't call it arrogant, but if there's any "reaching out" to be done, you'll be the one who'll have to do it in light of the MD's ethical and professional obligations. If you're comfortable doing so, you might ask your mom to be an intermediary, but I wouldn't schedule an appt., as that would constitute an abuse of the MD's professional obligations on your part. Either way, good luck!


    Thank you. I just wanted somebody to tell me to get over myself or if he actually could see something from such old test results.
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    Feb 13, 2015 12:14 PM GMT
    UndercoverMan saidIf he was a psychiatrist I'd say yes reach out to him for counseling. You're crazy if you pursue this.



    hahaha, that made me laugh. But you make a lot of sense.
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    Feb 13, 2015 12:15 PM GMT
    manboynyc saidWoah - lots of odd stuff here.

    FIRST of all, I would see WHY he wants to get you "checked out". I'd be rather cautious about seeing any doctor that had "touched me" more than expected (unless you imagined it...?) for any reason. That's just creepy to me.

    This is not a porn fantasy - this is the real world medical community.

    What about getting a non-physical CONSULT instead and then seeing another in-network cardiologist - making sure all was ok, which you could tell him post-facto... over coffee if he was leading that way.

    Be careful with all of this - especially since he works with your MOM. Seriously. Caution here - this sounds far too "General Hospital".

    My .02 cents.


    Thank you. I'm getting blood work done next week, so I'll ask my physician to refer me to a cardiologist.
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    Feb 13, 2015 12:16 PM GMT
    TheBaise saidNo appointment. You don't want to go down the road of doctor/patient. He can't see you socially or as friends if you're his patient. Dude what I'd do is drop by your mom's office and bump into him / and strike up a convo. If there's any spark / go to lunch or dinner with him. If you don't check out the situation / you'll get nothing good. What have you got to lose?


    I'd feel like such a creeper and so awkward, if I did that. But I appreciate your reply.
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    Feb 13, 2015 12:20 PM GMT
    Sporty_G saidIf anything in this entire fantasy is try....the Doctor and your mom have violated HIPPA Laws by even discussing your health in a casual manner without your permission. This story needs a re-write....and NO do NOT see or schedule with this cardiologist. His ethics seem to be a bit lax....If you need a checkup, find a different Doctor.....and tell mum to not discuss your health with anyone but you. NOT BUYING THIS STORY AS TOLD.


    I'm not making anything up. I guess because of the forum I put it in, it seems suspect, but there isn't a "Friendship" forum and this didn't seem to fit into any other forum.

    Hmm, seems your right. As I'm not a minor, he shouldn't be discussing my health with her. (I looked it up) Thanks for the heads up.
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    Feb 13, 2015 12:23 PM GMT
    Italian_MS said
    Sporty_G saidIf anything in this entire fantasy is try....the Doctor and your mom have violated HIPPA Laws by even discussing your health in a casual manner without your permission. This story needs a re-write....and NO do NOT see or schedule with this cardiologist. His ethics seem to be a bit lax....If you need a checkup, find a different Doctor.....and tell mum to not discuss your health with anyone but you. NOT BUYING THIS STORY AS TOLD.


    Dum
    If you want to go down the road of abusing his authority, I'd point out that
    1. according to his profile, he would have been over 18 in 2007.
    2. "I start to get aroused and he pushes deeper into my crotch." kind of sounds like a 2-way thing here
    (It remains an unprofessional behaviour nonetheless).

    If you want to go down the road of privacy, you are crazy. 2 doctors talking about a former pt/son? Sounds legit to me. Even more so since he was healthy in 2007. Not talking about the law, I don't know what the regulations are in the US, but I don't find any violation of privacy worth talking about here.


    My age is wrong. I'm 26. Fixing it.

    My mother's not a doctor. I just said "medical professional" to be vague.

    2-way? It's not my fault he was attractive and his elbow happened to be on crotch. Arousal is a natural process.

    Granted I don't think he should have elbowed my crotch, but I am more concerned as if there could actually be merit to his "findings".

    I don't want to write it off and regret it later.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 13, 2015 12:26 PM GMT
    I appreciate all of the replies.

    I admit if he was unattractive, I probably wouldn't have written this topic. I learned in psych that we excuse bad things good looking people do.

    Anyway, I'm going to see my physician again after my bloodwork is done this week and I'll ask him to recommend me to a cardiologist, just to be on the safe side.

    I won't be making an appointment or going anywhere near that guy.