Being gay

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 11, 2015 7:32 PM GMT
    Why is being a 21 year old guy, and gay so hard for family members, especially friends to accept?...
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    Feb 11, 2015 8:20 PM GMT
    I think age is less of the problem and more religion, culture and tradition.

    Your parents were raised to believe a certain standard, its probably what they have known all their lives. Your grand parents, whatever church they went to thought them that to be right with God, you must follow the teachings of God which is to be attracted to the opposite sex.

    Lucky for them, they just happen to be attracted to the opposite sex, so they don't have a clue what its like to have same sex attractions and go through the negatives of living like an outcast with such feelings.

    I have come to a conclusion in life, if they can't understand, just accept it like any other problem in life, taxes, death, why you are not rich etc.

    The key is accepting yourself. You just happen to be born in that family. Still love them and respect them and hope that one day, they will understand and appreciate you for who you are. Just don't put your life on hold for it though.
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    Feb 11, 2015 8:32 PM GMT
    difficult for me to think parents, living with their son for 20 years, have not figured out he is gay. There has to be significant denial going on in your house.

    Along those lines you will have to give it some time if you come out to them.
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    Feb 11, 2015 8:48 PM GMT
    Nat3S0r3nS0n said Why is being a 21 year old guy, and gay so hard for family members to accept?...
    Because they haven't been around enough different people to realize that people are different in many ways...not just sexual attraction.

    I bet they also have trouble accepting people from other countries, cultures, and ethnicities.
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    Feb 12, 2015 5:35 PM GMT
    The way your parents and family have been brought up maybe a cause . Religion believes could also be another reason .
    I was and am lucky that my family and straight mates are open minded .icon_smile.gif
  • bro4bro

    Posts: 1035

    Feb 13, 2015 3:27 AM GMT
    All parents have certain hopes, dreams, and expectations for their children from the day they are born. Being gay is rarely among them. At some point parents have to abandon their fantasies about who their son should be, and accept him for who he is. For some, this takes a while. For others it takes forever.

    If by "family members" you're talking about brothers and sisters, understand that poor relationships between siblings almost always stem from jealousy of one sort or another. Whether they admit it or not, they may resent your being gay because they think it draws your parents' attention away from them.

    But you said "especially friends". This sounds to me like simple insecurity. You're causing them to question themselves, and they don't like it. Tell 'em to grow the fuck up.
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    Feb 13, 2015 3:39 AM GMT
    Age has nothing to do with being hated for who you are, trust me, it does get better but certainly not any easier icon_idea.gif
  • BmwKid92

    Posts: 1097

    Feb 13, 2015 4:09 AM GMT
    in the sam boat dude.... fuck em' why care what they think
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    Feb 13, 2015 6:03 AM GMT
    What bro4bro said.

    It's why so many of us move out and far, far away as soon as possible.