Seriously why can't I find a boyfriend

  • NeuralShock

    Posts: 411

    Feb 12, 2015 12:10 AM GMT
    I don't even get it. I don't have a boyfriend and it's odd as heck.

    Is it because dating websites just don't work for most people? It seems all I get there is confused guys who don't want an actual relationship.


    So what the heck do I do?
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    Feb 12, 2015 12:43 AM GMT
    I've seen you post really depressing and offputting things on these forums that make you look insecure and almost emotionally unstable. Guys like someone who is confident, secure with who they are and what they look like, and has their shit together. No one wants to have to work through a guy's emotional baggage when they barely even know him.

    Also, because you're looking.
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    Feb 12, 2015 12:51 AM GMT
    Focus on being happy and content with yourself rather than trying to find a boyfriend to fix your self-esteem.

    Once you learn to be content and confident in your own skin, you'll be able to associate well with others. icon_biggrin.gif

    Needy people drive people away. icon_cry.gif

    Not saying that I'm there already. I still struggle with self image myself. icon_sad.gif
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    Feb 12, 2015 1:09 AM GMT
    I've only been on RJ for a week and have already read this "woe is me" like 6 times. Turn off your computer and approach a guy.

    You're not entitled to have a bf. That shits just a bonus. Get the rest of the stuff right. ... like your self esteem and neediness. .. then,

    Turn off the computer, the apps, and approach a real person and say, "Hey, how you doing? I couldn't help but notice. ..."
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    Feb 12, 2015 1:20 AM GMT
    flyonthewall saidI've only been on RJ for a week and have already read this "woe is me" like 6 times. Turn off your computer and approach a guy.

    You're not entitled to have a bf. That shits just a bonus. Get the rest of the stuff right. ... like your self esteem and neediness. .. then,

    Turn off the computer, the apps, and approach a real person and say, "Hey, how you doing? I couldn't help but notice. ..."


    +1

    A BF is sort of at the end of the dating process.

    Unless you are paying for one, you can't just advertise for one and get one. You have to date someone first, or at least have some hot nights together, until you are at the point where the two of you have strong positive feelings toward each other. So go out and meet some guys and date ones that you like.
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    Feb 12, 2015 1:42 AM GMT
    Stop looking for a boyfriend.

    Start looking for a friend. Cultivate a friendship, let it grow into a relationship.

    Then, before you know it, you'll have a boyfriend.
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    Feb 12, 2015 1:49 AM GMT
    Become that which You seek to attract.

    And get off the Internet. I have said before You are trying to work thru issues in the wrong venue. Clear up the issues You have discussed at length in these forums with the appropriate PROFFESSIONALS and then go out into the world and MEET REAL LIVE MEN.

    You really can do it.

    As always, I wish You peace and luck.

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    Feb 12, 2015 2:00 AM GMT
    Cash saidBecome that which You seek to attract.

    And get off the Internet. I have said before You are trying to work thru issues in the wrong venue. Clear up the issues You have discussed at length in these forums with the appropriate PROFFESSIONALS and then go out into the world and MEET REAL LIVE MEN.

    You really can do it.

    As always, I wish You peace and luck.



    I wonder if the under 30 have the skills to meet real life people.
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    Feb 12, 2015 2:12 AM GMT
    JonSpringon saidStop looking for a boyfriend.

    Start looking for a friend. Cultivate a friendship, let it grow into a relationship.

    Then, before you know it, you'll have a boyfriend.


    Listen to this guy.

    My first 2 LT relationships were both jump right into it situations. (Neither from online) but the first was a disaster. Not compatible at all.

    I went directly at my bf as usual, but I had a different mindset. I don't believe in waiting until something falls in your lap. Retirement could sneak up on you before that happens. But I didn't intend for him to be ltr or a fuck buddy or anything. But I knew I wanted to know him. After a few years I couldn't get rid of him.

    The sex is different too when you've allowed things to develop naturally. For that to happen though, you have to have your own life that you get joy from. It's not an easy approach honestly. It takes practice to focus inward.
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    Feb 12, 2015 4:57 AM GMT
    I've heard the constant use of the word "Seriously" is a huge turn off; start there--maybe get a Puca shell necklace; white with a sharks tooth, a big tooth.
    What do you think about Tats???
  • ThatSwimmerGu...

    Posts: 3755

    Feb 12, 2015 5:01 AM GMT
    I thought ifd never cinds one but I fid ge is amxznfg
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 12, 2015 5:05 AM GMT
    most of your posts make you sound like you hate yourself. If you don't like yourself, why should anyone else?
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    Feb 12, 2015 5:40 AM GMT
    I FOUND YOU A BOYFRIEND!
    YOU'RE A PERFECT MATCH!!!! --->http://www.realjock.com/Matthew56

    Invite me to the wedding. You're welcome.
  • Vivi_Carol

    Posts: 40

    Feb 12, 2015 5:42 AM GMT
    because you's stupid and weak, and failed to appreciate my Mists of Avalon, that's exactly why. No one wants a loser that doesn't appreciate Vivi! icon_evil.gif
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    Feb 12, 2015 5:58 AM GMT
    Radd saidI FOUND YOU A BOYFRIEND!
    YOU'RE A PERFECT MATCH!!!! --->http://www.realjock.com/Matthew56

    Invite me to the wedding. You're welcome.


    whoa.....it's a perfect match
  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    Feb 12, 2015 6:10 AM GMT
    Start by becoming your own best friend ... and hang around some fag hags .... they'll set you up with someone cute
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    Feb 12, 2015 6:29 AM GMT
    AMoonHawk said... and hang around some fag hags .... they'll set you up with someone cute


    Oh, hell no! They're still hoping to convert their gays.
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    Feb 12, 2015 8:23 AM GMT
    ThatSwimmerGuy saidI thought ifd never cinds one but I fid ge is amxznfg

    Typing drunk, Henry?
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    Feb 12, 2015 8:25 PM GMT
    Maybe you are just too short to have a relationship? I think that's most likely the real culprit here.
  • NeuralShock

    Posts: 411

    Feb 12, 2015 9:13 PM GMT
    IRFire66 saidMaybe you are just too short to have a relationship? I think that's most likely the real culprit here.

    But I am cute... Short and cute go well together I thought.
  • Svnw688

    Posts: 3350

    Feb 12, 2015 9:26 PM GMT
    Actively looking for a b/f is the kiss of death. Guys can sense it, and will run away.

    Reel 'em in with sex and let natural mental processes of affection and bonding take over. It's how I've hooked all my meaningful relationships. I'm not joking. People want to be with a fun person. It should be carefree and easy. Eventually it turns from a hookup, to a hookup-shower, to a hookup-shower-TV, to fastfood-hookup-shower-tv-sleepover, and before you know it you're inseparable boyfriends going to concerts, nice restaurants and slowly but steadily weaving your lives and schedules around one another because that's what you each want.

    If you have to ask a person to "go steady" you're not there. Let nature naturally take its course, and stop trying to force it.
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    Feb 12, 2015 9:33 PM GMT
    NeuralShock said
    IRFire66 saidMaybe you are just too short to have a relationship? I think that's most likely the real culprit here.

    But I am cute... Short and cute go well together I thought.


    Whoa! there you go, you found something positive about yourself! icon_biggrin.gif
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    Feb 12, 2015 9:38 PM GMT
    pazzy said
    Svnw688 saidActively looking for a b/f is the kiss of death. Guys can sense it, and will run away.

    Reel 'em in with sex and let natural mental processes of affection and bonding take over. It's how I've hooked all my meaningful relationships. I'm not joking. People want to be with a fun person. It should be carefree and easy. Eventually it turns from a hookup, to a hookup-shower, to a hookup-shower-TV, to fastfood-hookup-shower-tv-sleepover, and before you know it you're inseparable boyfriends going to concerts, nice restaurants and slowly but steadily weaving your lives and schedules around one another because that's what you each want.

    If you have to ask a person to "go steady" you're not there. Let nature naturally take its course, and stop trying to force it.



    that sounds frightening and creepy. icon_neutral.gif

    j/k. however, don't get why some guys in here are so desperate to have a boyfriend or love. what is the big deal with that shit? folks act like it's their main purpose in life.


    It clearly is not your thing Pazzy. Wanting a relationship and / or Love doesn't necessarily imply desperation - although the OP may be putting too much emphasis on the importance considering His current circumstances as frequently described in RJ forums.

    Since you have yet to experience either, you don't have much of a point of reference to really be offering any insights, although your opinion is valid considering YOUR circumstances.
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    Feb 12, 2015 9:50 PM GMT
    I agree with the others that have posted, you just have to focus on yourself. Trust me its easier said than done, I'm going through a similar thing too. I read a forum posting on here about a guy asking similar and one of the poster suggested the hook up approach. I'm kinda old school and was reluctant to try it but I did. Long story short I hooked up with a guy last week (honestly one of the best guys in bed) and he dumped me after that.. It doesn't help that you're a hopeless romantic and think every guy you meet is the one.. :$ Sometimes luck also plays a part. To the OP keep your head up and you'll find someone.
  • NeuralShock

    Posts: 411

    Feb 12, 2015 9:55 PM GMT
    IRFire66 said
    NeuralShock said
    IRFire66 saidMaybe you are just too short to have a relationship? I think that's most likely the real culprit here.

    But I am cute... Short and cute go well together I thought.


    Whoa! there you go, you found something positive about yourself! icon_biggrin.gif

    I do have a lot of positive, really! Just sometimes I get depressed when I remember things that have happened to me and then get pretty damn negative...

    But I have a new approach:

    Firstly
    Highly limit dating websites, haven't had any success so I will place a lot less of a premium on it.

    Secondly:
    Get involved with my university's gay group.
    Get involved with Brazilian jiu jitsu groups
    Just get involved with a lot of things
    Get involved with pride week even
    Wear more sarcastic workout clothes/clothes
    Just let my bubbly kind personality shimmer through

    Why?:

    Then I will find FRIENDSHIPS and from there potentially even get a relationship with someone WORTH being in a relationship with. I seriously think this morning I came to this realization after yesterday being emotionally abused by two people I knew before.

    Soooooo new paradigm, be my wonderful eccentric and kind self and just enjoy being me. Keep working out, studying, etc and improving and fuck needing a boyfriend. I actually am awesome so yeah... time to go at it differently.