Jock jokes

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    Jan 22, 2009 12:44 AM GMT
    Everybody needs a good laugh now and then. I'll go first:

    A high school English teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. She tells the class there would be no excuse for not showing up, except for serious injury, illness, or a death in the student's immediate family.

    A smart-ass jock in the back of the room asks, "What about extreme sexual exhaustion?"

    The entire class does its best to stifle their laughter and snickering. When silence is restored, the teacher smiles sympathetically at the student, shakes her head, and sweetly says, "Not an excuse. Write with your other hand."
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    Jan 22, 2009 12:48 AM GMT
    ROFL! I have nothing to contribute though. But damn I want a teacher like that! icon_razz.gif
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    Jan 22, 2009 12:55 AM GMT
    A true story from my own Junior year in HS, 1965:

    During the first day of the school year our English teacher handed out index cards, for us all to write our names and provide other info she requested. One of the football players kept 2 cards instead of 1, and wrote a fictitious name on the extra card.

    Our teacher collected the cards as we passed them forward, and then began to call out our names so we could become acquainted.

    "Who's Bill Smith? OK, hello Bill, and you live in West Paterson, right?"

    And so it went, until she got to the bogus card.

    "Who's Dick Hertz?"

    "MINE DOES!" called out the football player in a disguised voice, crouching behind another student sitting in front of him.

    The whole class burst out in hysterical laughter. And the poor teacher, who was really nice and whom I liked, went beet red in the face, and her authority was ruined from that day forward.
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    Jan 22, 2009 1:02 AM GMT
    icon_biggrin.gif

    Way too funny - would make Bart and Lisa Simpson proud!!!
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    Jan 22, 2009 1:09 AM GMT
    justinono saidicon_biggrin.gif

    Way too funny - would make Bart and Lisa Simpson proud!!!

    No doubt. But what amazes me today is that was *44* years ago in the case of my story! And somehow I myself want to imagine we were so innocent back then, so devoid of the sexual thoughts and behavior of today. And of course that wasn't the case at all. Should make some of the younger RJers here wonder about their own parents from that era... icon_wink.gif
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    Jan 22, 2009 2:40 AM GMT
    Let's try another one...


  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 22, 2009 2:47 AM GMT
    justinono saidLet's try another one...




    LMAO

    I LOVE Jokoy!
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    Jan 22, 2009 4:55 AM GMT
    Let's try another one (PARROT!)

    Liverpool Football

    Q: What is the difference between Liverpool football and a tea bag?

    A: The tea bag stays in the cup [mouth] longer.


  • EricPrado

    Posts: 206

    Jan 22, 2009 6:15 AM GMT
    hahaha. That one's funny.
    Anyone got anymore??
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    Jan 22, 2009 6:18 AM GMT
    Over 200 looks...

    Come on guys... contribute some jokes!

    coking150.jpg
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    Jan 22, 2009 6:37 AM GMT
    HAHAHA... do you have better Sarah jokes? It's a bit past tense now. She is a bit of a jock. She's in good shape... nonetheless...
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    Jan 22, 2009 6:39 AM GMT
    peterstrong saidWARNING !
    Politically correct people should not read this joke, I warned you - you were warned.

    What is the difference between Sarah Palin's mouth and her vagina ?



    some of the things that come out of her vagina are not retarded




    ROFL that's so mean icon_lol.gif
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    Jan 22, 2009 6:45 AM GMT

    Hehe I got a jock joke


    The football player was trying to pick up a coed at a fraternity party when
    she told him that she was much more turned on by academic types than dumb jocks.
    "So," she said, "what`s your G.P.A.?"
    The jock smiled and said, "I get about twenty-five in the city and forty on
    the highway!"




    icon_lol.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 22, 2009 6:48 AM GMT
    HAHHAAH That's a moment. I won't elaborate. Keep them coming! icon_eek.gificon_biggrin.gif
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    Jan 22, 2009 7:02 AM GMT

    I got another jock joke



    At a school in WV there was a football player that was stupid.
    He sat beside a boy in class that was really smart and the teacher knew
    that he was cheating. She just couldn't catch him.

    One day she was grading a test and she noticed that the smart boy had
    written "I don't know the answer" on number 10. So she looked at the
    jock's paper and smiled. He had finally given himself away. His answer
    looked like this:

    10. me neither.


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    Jan 22, 2009 7:05 AM GMT
    DAMN I love these jokes. HAHA. But there is this other forum that makes me think about 10. Hmmmm... icon_cool.gif
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    Jan 22, 2009 7:08 AM GMT


    "He's such a dumb jock, that when he was driving to the airport, he saw a sign that read, "Airport Left," and he turned around and went home."

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    Jan 22, 2009 7:09 AM GMT
    Ok, I cheated - that was a joke I told others about myself.icon_redface.gificon_redface.gif


    -Doug
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    Jan 22, 2009 9:50 AM GMT
    this happened in real life. During the final exam, an invigilator caught a student looking at another student's paper. the invigilator called out his name and he tried to defend himself. this is what he said

    student: "no i didn't cheat"
    invigilator: "but i caught you looking at his paper"
    student: "but our answers are different"
    invigilator: "..."
    student: "...fxck"

    alright i made up the last sentence, but needless to say, that student failed that particular paper lol