How do I know what he wants?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 22, 2009 1:23 AM GMT
    Hi,
    I met this guy at a friend's birthday party. I saw him and just thought "Omg he is fucking hot". He came over and we had a really good conversation. A bit later he kissed me and asked if I wanna join him and his friends going to a club. And yeah of course I did. So we went to the club had some more drinks, danced and had a good time. Later that night he said that he wanna leave the club and if I wanna come with him. At this time we both were already really drunk.
    But i went home with him and we had really good sex. After that we talked a bit and he said that he also thought I'm hot when he saw me at the party. At the next morning after we got up I asked him for his number and if he wanna hang out with me again. He said yes and gave me his number.
    I texted him later that day to ask how he is doing, he replyed. This was on Sunday.
    After that i had to think about him all the time even during the nights. I couldn't sleep well.
    Then on Tuesday I asked him out for dinner the next weekend and he said "Yeah that would be nice". So now I'm waiting for saturday to see him again.
    But I'm not sure what he wants. I really think about a relationship with him but I don't know what he is thinking about the situation.
    Maybe he just want to have a f*** buddy or friend with benefits. Call it what ever you want. But I want more. I wanna text him every minute but I don't do this
    because I don't want to annoy him.

    So please give me an advice what I should do. Or should I just wait? And how do I know what he is intersted in?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 22, 2009 1:56 AM GMT
    Breathe. Take it one day at a time. As long as he is showing interest and you are returning it, and you aren't pestering the hell out of him with text messages, it's a good sign. Enjoy it. After you've been together for 3 months and he hasn't initiated the 'relationship' conversation and things are still going well, its reasonable to have some 'where do you think we're at? conversations'.

    If things go soar or just get lack-luster in that 90-day period - it may be you that has second thoughts.

    Right now its all good, and still really new. Get your hormones under control and don't try to 'put a ring on it' just yet.

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    Jan 22, 2009 2:03 AM GMT
    It does seem like he's pretty interested in you just as much as you are with him.

    Don't text him as much, you don't want to seem too clingy. Although, it's nice to ask how he's doing or how his day was. As far as relationships go, it's way too early to tell since you've only known him for this short amount of time. Let alone when you've already slept with him. Best you can do for now is be patient. See how dinner goes; find out what he is looking for (friendship, relationship, etc.).



  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 22, 2009 2:37 AM GMT
    How about just take it slow and see what happens?

    It sounds like you clicked and the sex was good, so now, see where it goes.
    I'm guessing you'll know the answer to your questions in about three weeks.
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    Jan 22, 2009 2:45 AM GMT
    You are getting way a head of yourself. Go out on the date first. You don't even know this guy really.

    Over dinner just ask him what he's looking for. It's pretty simple.
    Don't come on to strong men are very fickle and scare very EASY!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 22, 2009 2:50 AM GMT
    I'll tell you exactly what he wants... he wants you to calm the F down girl.. cause damn.. you aint even been on a date yet and already your moving in and having kiddies!
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    Jan 22, 2009 2:52 AM GMT
    Dude, it's been a few days. Just go eat drink and be merry. Dating is about having fun, not stressing yourself outicon_biggrin.gif
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    Jan 22, 2009 3:54 AM GMT
    Take the finger of the phone and let him call you as well.

    Stop thinking relationship. You are just going to set yourself up for a fall and come across "clingy".

    Be yourself and I agree with the post above me. Go out on a date with him. Just because he's hot doesn't mean he's the one.
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    Jan 22, 2009 6:10 AM GMT
    Thanks for your tips and advice.
    Probably the best is really to calm down a bit and take it easy and see what happens on saturday. But sometimes saying is easier than doing icon_smile.gif
    I'm just not very experienced in dating and haven't had these feelings before. Maybe that's why i don't see it that relaxed.
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    Jan 22, 2009 6:36 AM GMT
    Yep. Agreed. Take it a day at a time, and enjoy the moments you're together, and don't obsess over and stalk him when you're apart. It takes awhile of knowing someone to know if they are relationship material or not. But I'm sure getting there is half the fun.
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    Jan 22, 2009 9:13 AM GMT
    Ask him.
  • Laurence

    Posts: 942

    Jan 22, 2009 10:52 AM GMT
    Move away from the phone!

    It all sounds positive so far. But being super-keen won't make you look good - only needy and clingy.

    Playing it cool at this point - although irritating, as you may want to move things on quickly - is the best thing to do.

    Good luck and do tell us how it's going.

    Loz
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    Jan 22, 2009 12:21 PM GMT
    just be honest mate.. only thing u can do
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    Jan 22, 2009 1:18 PM GMT
    Go to his door and demand to know exactly what his intentions are. Insist on seeing him every night and make absolutely sure he deletes every other guy from his little black book. Go to the jewelry store together tomorrow or as soon as possible and get matching rings. Then, next week, make your plans for moving in together. Open up a joint checking account, and demand to know what your $$ allowance will be each month. Let him know what stores you like best and make sure he knows your sizes and color preferences. Text him several times a day - and be sure to show up at his office, bombarding him with overly large flower arrangements daily. You have a right to know where this is going. Direct your own destiny. Make things happen in your favor. Go for what you want!


    icon_wink.gif (just kidding!!!)
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    Jan 22, 2009 1:20 PM GMT
    As someone that just started dealing with a somewhat similar situation, I say just relax and take it day by day. I just had my mind turned over by a guy I'd somewhat known for 3 years (we didn't know each other was gay though), we started dating a month and a half ago, eventually had sex a week ago and still I'm not sure what he wants with me.

    But I can say "Don't become an annoyance". I had to take the same advice myself by resisting the urge to call and text. Sure enough, the guy started calling me more himself.
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    Jan 22, 2009 6:51 PM GMT
    ChicagoBoy83 saidHi,
    I met this guy at a friend's birthday party.
    ...
    At this time we both were already really drunk.
    But i went home with him and we had really good sex.
    ...
    But I'm not sure what he wants. I really think about a relationship with him but I don't know what he is thinking about the situation.


    You are thinking about a relationship with someone you had a drunken one night stand with? icon_lol.gif

    Yeah dude...try going on a few dates with the guy first.

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    Jan 22, 2009 6:53 PM GMT
    It's been less than a week...give it time. Go with the flow and let life take you were it will.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 22, 2009 6:53 PM GMT
    RELAX!!! Take it one day/text at a time, sheesh!!!!
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    Jan 22, 2009 10:09 PM GMT
    Does he know what he wants?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 22, 2009 10:18 PM GMT
    You should let him know how you feel by getting his name tattooed over you heart.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 22, 2009 10:57 PM GMT
    I'd probably do what Bake said above, its the perfect plan.
    but if your short on cash for a tattoo isn't your thing...

    try breathing... go on a date, and see if you have more in common then just thinking each others hot.

    Good night and good luck