Would you go in a Relationship with a man who...

  • MartinMPL

    Posts: 481

    Feb 15, 2015 9:12 PM GMT
    Hey guys I know how majority of the straight men think about this so thought I'll ask you gay/bi/DL men


    Would you go in a relationship with someone who has f***ked or been f***ked with allot of guys in YOUR city?

    "And of COURSE he used protection with all the guys.

    But let's say he slept with 20 or 15 or 30 guys withing a year. He top n btm some.

    Would you go in a relationship with him AND WHY or WHY NOT?



    Now for you guys who said "yes I don't care" my next question to you is this.
    Would you still go in a relatinship with this man if half of those people or even 5% of those people was your friends???
  • BloodFlame

    Posts: 1768

    Feb 16, 2015 10:19 AM GMT
    What a very loaded question haha.

    Anyway, would I date a guy who had more than 20+ sexual partners? It depends. If the guy was nice, there was mutual attraction, and he was respectful, I don't see why not. Of course, I'd wonder if he could ever be truly satisfied with one guy but his actions will help me decide. As for the "unprotected sex" thing, we'd definitely need to get tested. And this goes for any guy.

    I try to see the good in anyone. If this guy was monogamous in a relationship, it shouldn't matter how many sexual encounters he's had outside of it. I'd hope he was being safe but even then, I'd still want to get tested if he really wanted to bareback.

    Anyway, that's my answer lol

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    Feb 16, 2015 10:23 AM GMT
    That would be kind of hypocritical of me to not want to date him because of that.
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    Feb 16, 2015 6:40 PM GMT
    30 different guys in 1 year is a lot. i don't think our mentalities would be a good match, so no. i'd also be concerned about possible sex addiction.
  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    Feb 16, 2015 7:13 PM GMT
    Depends on the guy. There is more to this answer then just a simple yes or no. Depends if he is ready to commit and what feelings I have for him and what feelings he has for me. The fact that he fucked with some of my friends wouldn't be too big of a deal, I can deal with it. I think if you are basing whether you get involved with someone based solely on their sexual past is a bit immature and may be a good indication that you are probably really not ready for a relationship yet, or this is your first relationship with someone else.
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    Feb 16, 2015 8:20 PM GMT
    That's why I only sleep with tourist visiting my town. Men love to talk about their sexual conquests and the gay community in NOLA is small and a bunch of catty, gossipy queens. For all the sluts out there there are just as many, if not more, Puritanical catty, gay cunts looking to look down on you because you get more ass than they do. For all our sexual freedom, the gay community is still a bunch of Puritanical, catty, middle school mean girls.
  • flahotstuff

    Posts: 154

    Feb 16, 2015 11:01 PM GMT
    First how do you know he always practiced safe sex- sounds like a slut- go at it with your own risk- past behavior predicts future!!
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    Feb 17, 2015 3:01 AM GMT
    flahotstuff saidFirst how do you know he always practiced safe sex- sounds like a slut- go at it with your own risk- past behavior predicts future!!


    That's not what my stockbroker tells me.
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    Feb 17, 2015 3:14 AM GMT
    flahotstuff saidFirst how do you know he always practiced safe sex- sounds like a slut- go at it with your own risk- past behavior predicts future!!

    Good question about safe sex. A "slut" is more likely to have caught something. Be extra careful.

    On the other hand... by this definition I was also a slut. Having more than a dozen guys in a year was my norm. I called it "sampling the wares".

    But... once I began a relationship with a guy, that sluttiness shut down. Since being a so-called slut was my tactic for finding a guy, by sampling as many as I could. But once I found a candidate, however, that whole slut process ended. Objective obtained. I focused only on him at that point, to the exclusion of all others.

    So consider that possibility, that other guys are doing like I did. Slut when single, monogamous when mated. I can't believe I'm unique in this.
  • starboard5

    Posts: 969

    Feb 17, 2015 4:49 AM GMT
    For myself, I would say no. Consider two points: (1) we are largely conditioned by habit. Whatever you do repeatedly, your mind develops an inclination in that direction, and (2) people rarely change deep conditioning.

    Unless you are OK with an open relationship, I would say don't get seriously involved with this guy.
  • SilverRRCloud

    Posts: 875

    Feb 17, 2015 5:25 AM GMT
    If you are asking, you do not want to do it. icon_biggrin.gif

    "Sleeping with lots of guys" is a vastly relative concept. It tends to depend on how attractive you happen to be, how sexually positive you are, where you live, what the pervading social mores are...

    It is rather naive to believe that someone's personal history really starts with me. And I see absolutely no reason for anyone not to enjoy their lives. Quite on the contrary...

    Quite a few people tend to believe that promiscuity somehow automatically leads to seroconversion, STDs, etc. The truth is more complex than this. Withdrawn, reluctant guys suppressing their desires may be prone to throw all their caution to the winds, and go bare, using the rationale that they do not do it often. Actually, you do not have to do "it" often. You only have to make sure that you ALWAYS do it safe. A more experienced guy, who is hardly ever in dire need, usually tends to stick to his own rules, and is usually more pressure resistant than someone who happens to be or is sexually needy.

    The sad thing about the guys who are so critical of other dudes being promiscuous is that they would, too, love to be promiscuous, only, they do not have what it takes...icon_lol.gif

    SC
  • NeuralShock

    Posts: 411

    Feb 18, 2015 1:03 AM GMT
    That many guys is A LOT.

    While I have no issue with anyone's sexuality (none of my business) I honestly would be INCREDIBLY concerned for potential STDs. Even with a condom there are a host of infections to be wary of.


    If this was presented in front of me I would be very clear with him, we are not going to be getting into bed until after he has been tested. I will go with him to the clinic and get tested at the exact same time.

    If he doesn't? We're done.

    My health and lifespan comes SIGNIFICANTLY before any action. Anyone that wouldn't do this needs to assess their priorities and be thrown into a suicide hospital.

    Don't play with your health, it isn't a game.
  • coolarmydude

    Posts: 9190

    Feb 18, 2015 1:26 AM GMT
    It's safe to say that he and I would never date, but not because I turned him down, but because we likely are not near the same circles.
  • coolarmydude

    Posts: 9190

    Feb 18, 2015 1:28 AM GMT
    MuchMoreThanMuscle said
    I'm not gonna say it's my dream to date and marry the "town bicycle" but if the guy knocks my socks off and is honest and has integrity than anything is possible.


    Do you really think he's the committed type if he's sleeping with someone different every other week? And even if you're in an open relationship, why bother being in a relationship? Just be another every-other-week with priority preference. icon_wink.gif
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    Feb 18, 2015 1:56 AM GMT
    MartinMPL saidHey guys I know how majority of the straight men think about this so thought I'll ask you gay/bi/DL men


    Would you go in a relationship with someone who has f***ked or been f***ked with allot of guys in YOUR city?

    "And of COURSE he used protection with all the guys.

    But let's say he slept with 20 or 15 or 30 guys withing a year. He top n btm some.

    Would you go in a relationship with him AND WHY or WHY NOT?



    Now for you guys who said "yes I don't care" my next question to you is this.
    Would you still go in a relatinship with this man if half of those people or even 5% of those people was your friends???


    yup to both. My husband & I might in San Francisco we both had with a lot of guys, even some of the same guys as we discovered as we dated. Never worried about it, never was bothered by it. We even laughed as each others stories of hooking up with the same guy prior to our getting together.
  • craycraydoesd...

    Posts: 596

    Feb 18, 2015 2:54 AM GMT
    MuchMoreThanMuscle saidFor those of you that resoundingly responded with "NO", you're quite the prudes.

    Do the math. Thirty guys in a year isn't really that much...


    Hilarious. I'll take advice from Mr HIV with a grain of salt icon_lol.gificon_lol.gif
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    Feb 18, 2015 3:09 AM GMT
    Yes to both.
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    Feb 18, 2015 3:12 AM GMT
    crazycrazydoesdoes said
    MuchMoreThanMuscle saidFor those of you that resoundingly responded with "NO", you're quite the prudes.

    Do the math. Thirty guys in a year isn't really that much...


    Hilarious. I'll take advice from Mr HIV with a grain of salt icon_lol.gificon_lol.gif


    LOL. I don't know how anyone with a healthy social life has time to arrange sex with a new guy bi-weekly.
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    Feb 18, 2015 3:20 AM GMT
    MuchMoreThanMuscle said[…]
    Do the math. Thirty guys in a year isn't really that much. That averages out to be two to three people per month. Is that really so unacceptable?
    […]


    I must admit 2-3 guys a month, that's a lot to me. It would be for 2 months, I could understand but year long, that's a lot.

    But I agree with you that OP mentioned that the guy would do safe sex so that our main concern was the fact he slept with plenty of people and not the fact that he may carry diseases.

    OP, where's your video?
  • popobtc

    Posts: 74

    Feb 18, 2015 3:22 AM GMT
    Making the assumption that one cannot be committed if they sleep around is false. Assuming that he told you of his habits tells me that he likes you enough to be honest and trustworthy. If I were him, and didn't plan on committing to anything, I would not have told you how many guys I had been with.

    If you like him, does any of what he has done matter? If he likes you back, have him commit and get tested in 6 months. No matter what the sexual history of my partner...I always bring them to get tested with me.
  • Beeftastic

    Posts: 1747

    Feb 18, 2015 8:54 AM GMT
    No problem on either count.

    I don't make important life decisions based on what other people are gossiping about. If he works for me, that's all that matters. The world can fuck itself.

    No, I don't think sleeping around automatically means someone is not trustworthy or faithful. That frankly has very little to do with someones character in my opinion.

    Slept with my friends? I'd get over it if he works for me.

    And if you are good at the sex, why would you worry about people bad mouthing you later? Can't control it anyways lol.

    Frankly I'd be more concerned if a hot guy I was interested in didn't have some experience under his belt. Is he socialized properly? A prude? Have a bunch of weird sexual hangups I'll only find out later?
  • buddycat

    Posts: 1874

    Feb 18, 2015 9:58 AM GMT
    No, raging sex addict possibly.
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    Feb 18, 2015 4:21 PM GMT
    NO
    -its not worth the maintenance on the OP's part.
    -bet the OP would not last but a couple of weeks. Since this person has connections to the OP's inner circle keep away.

    hang out a little and see what gives. Have an exit plan.
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    Feb 18, 2015 4:29 PM GMT
    popobtc saidMaking the assumption that one cannot be committed if they sleep around is false. Assuming that he told you of his habits tells me that he likes you enough to be honest and trustworthy. If I were him, and didn't plan on committing to anything, I would not have told you how many guys I had been with.

    If you like him, does any of what he has done matter? If he likes you back, have him commit and get tested in 6 months. No matter what the sexual history of my partner...I always bring them to get tested with me.


    to each his own and all that stuff, but in reality, do u really think ur gonna easily turn a guy that does 30 guys/yr into LTR material? good luck with that! that's a habit he probably won't be able kick even if he wants to, especially depending on how long he's lived that way. knowing if it's safe sex or not isn't really the main issue, though i'd HIGHLY doubt a guy that sleeps with 30 guys a year is safe all or even most of the time. what a person has done in their past DOES matter if it's at all indicative of what they're likely to do in the future.

    like the saying goes, 'don't try to turn a hoe into a housewife'.

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    Feb 18, 2015 5:00 PM GMT
    I agree with the above poster, the likelihood of the guy going from 30 sex partners to being in a monogamous relationship is pretty slim. However, I would go out and see if he can change my opinion.