Now that you've survived the holidays, How many of you ended your relationship after Valentine's Day?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 17, 2015 7:32 AM GMT
    This isn't to be vindictive or make fun of anyone who happened to find themselves in such a compromising predicament. more just to share and exchange ideas from people. Even though I was seeing someone for Valentine's, it was kinda rocky these past few days and even over the last month. (I kinda knew it wasn't going to keep going anyway). And when Valentine's day rolled around, I was one fist away from punching him square in the face. My Valentine behaved like a complete ass, which promoted me to also act like an ass...and it went out with a bang.

    It just didn't get no worse than Valentine's on a Saturday. That's like proverbial date night. And with a relationship gone wrong shortly after, it's just that much more heart aching.. All these holidays are like milestones in relationships, but to me if you haven't been with someone for over a year, it's almost more eggshells than being completely single. I think many new relationships (under 6 months) crash around birthdays and holidays because people show their ass and act like bitches when shit don't go there way. But dare they voice or plan what they want to do, they can't be arsed to do it. Or they fall thru and fail to show up.

    Like in my case, I spent the night with my BF Friday Valentine's Day eve. Cooked dinner,ordered movies. Then I dropped him off to work the next morning. I told him call me when he knows what time he's getting off. I hear nothing all day until 730. I text him to follow up. He calls me and says he's out at the bar getting drunk with his "girl" friend and to meet them out. But I'm like, whoa...why didn't you tell me you were going out? He gets attitude. Then, when I show up "late" he gets more obnoxious attitude. I had to explain that being he never informed me of anything, I didn't know what time I had to be anywhere. I'm not a "be here in 30 minutes" kinda ho. Fuck no. Be organized. And I certainly wasn't in a rush to meet him at a bar because he gets too stupid and gets in trouble with too many people for being mouthy.

    Long story short, my Christmas was drama, my New Years was drama, and my Valentine's day was drama, yet I was in a relationship! Exactly what I've always wanted around the holidays. But it wasn't the right person. I think it would have been better off had I been single and just met a guy that same day. I don't regret being with him, but when I look back at the pattern, I look at the alternative decision. What do you guys think? Do you purposely avoid new relationships around these times?
  • fmdemi15

    Posts: 18

    Feb 17, 2015 8:04 AM GMT
    I'm sorry to hear that. Glad you stood your ground and broke it off. It's unfortunate to hear that you still went out of your way to make a nice pre-valentine's dinner only to be reciprocated with ingratitude.

    I haven't been in a relationship so I guess you can say I survived Valentine's Day being single lol. Just hope my dating experiences don't end up in unnecessary drama. Best of luck in the future though icon_smile.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 17, 2015 2:13 PM GMT
    FuzzyPecs27 said
    Do you purposely avoid new relationships around these times?

    No, I've been glad to find any relationship I could at any time. None of them did ever happen on a holiday, but that wouldn't have deterred me.

    As for having confrontations around holidays, it's well-established that some people get stressed at those times, often depressed. And so their emotions can become volatile, their actions erratic.

    But I'm not sure Valentine's Day rates that "highly". The holidays usually cited for this behavior are from US Thanksgiving through New Years.

    Rather, this guy simply sounds like a classic jerk. And his poor behavior is more evident to you at holidays because that's when you most expect a better performance.

    Plus perhaps coupled with your own behavior around special times, which he might perceive as unwanted pressure. Which he shouldn't, I'd still say it's his problem if he can't deal with the normal exuberance & expectations that come with holidays.

    In any case, it didn't sound like a good match, so dropping him may have been your best move. I wouldn't avoid holiday romance because of it, however, but expect that holiday tensions can sometimes develop.

    On Saturday we attended the 3rd wedding anniversary of a gay couple, my husband's best friends, who got legally married on Valentine's Day. In total they've been partners for 33 years. And they are reliably their best on every holiday - we always have a lovely Thanksgiving dinner with them, and often Christmas & New Year's, too.

    Actually no holiday drama with any of our friends, nor between my husband & me. We look forward to them as happy times. icon_biggrin.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 17, 2015 4:03 PM GMT
    you dont have a lot invested here and sounds like scorched earth. By the way what did YOU learn in this relationship.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 17, 2015 5:07 PM GMT
    I commited myself to my relationship on Valentines Day 3 years ago. So we celebrated this day at a waterpark motel in Wisconsin Dells. We both love water. haha
  • glowstik

    Posts: 150

    Feb 17, 2015 5:19 PM GMT
    FuzzyPecs27 saidThis isn't to be vindictive or make fun of anyone who happened to find themselves in such a compromising predicament. more just to share and exchange ideas from people. Even though I was seeing someone for Valentine's, it was kinda rocky these past few days and even over the last month. (I kinda knew it wasn't going to keep going anyway). And when Valentine's day rolled around, I was one fist away from punching him square in the face. My Valentine behaved like a complete ass, which promoted me to also act like an ass...and it went out with a bang.

    It just didn't get no worse than Valentine's on a Saturday. That's like proverbial date night. And with a relationship gone wrong shortly after, it's just that much more heart aching.. All these holidays are like milestones in relationships, but to me if you haven't been with someone for over a year, it's almost more eggshells than being completely single. I think many new relationships (under 6 months) crash around birthdays and holidays because people show their ass and act like bitches when shit don't go there way. But dare they voice or plan what they want to do, they can't be arsed to do it. Or they fall thru and fail to show up.

    Like in my case, I spent the night with my BF Friday Valentine's Day eve. Cooked dinner,ordered movies. Then I dropped him off to work the next morning. I told him call me when he knows what time he's getting off. I hear nothing all day until 730. I text him to follow up. He calls me and says he's out at the bar getting drunk with his "girl" friend and to meet them out. But I'm like, whoa...why didn't you tell me you were going out? He gets attitude. Then, when I show up "late" he gets more obnoxious attitude. I had to explain that being he never informed me of anything, I didn't know what time I had to be anywhere. I'm not a "be here in 30 minutes" kinda ho. Fuck no. Be organized. And I certainly wasn't in a rush to meet him at a bar because he gets too stupid and gets in trouble with too many people for being mouthy.

    Long story short, my Christmas was drama, my New Years was drama, and my Valentine's day was drama, yet I was in a relationship! Exactly what I've always wanted around the holidays. But it wasn't the right person. I think it would have been better off had I been single and just met a guy that same day. I don't regret being with him, but when I look back at the pattern, I look at the alternative decision. What do you guys think? Do you purposely avoid new relationships around these times?


    I think this other person completely set a trap for you by being at a bar and telling you to come fetch his ass. He obviously did this because there was a history of you placating to his poor behavior. Good thing you can learn from this "relationship". Because, the best thing you could have done when you got that.. "im at the bar" text would have been complete radio silence. Don't engage the enemy on his terms and on his turf.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 17, 2015 11:38 PM GMT
    Holidays almost inevitably provoke those who are prone to drama to act out.
  • NeuralShock

    Posts: 411

    Feb 18, 2015 12:57 AM GMT
    Makes me sad I was single, I'd have preferred what you went through to be honest.
  • Svnw688

    Posts: 3350

    Feb 18, 2015 12:58 AM GMT
    sf_swimmer saidHolidays almost inevitably provoke those who are prone to drama to act out.


    This. You were dating a prick, and he showed his true colors.