When someone texts you very short messages, do they really want to talk?

  • wesv

    Posts: 907

    Feb 21, 2015 6:23 AM GMT
    And when I say short messages, I mean things like "oic, ok, idk."

    That was what I often got from my ex when he "cared" about me.
  • SilverRRCloud

    Posts: 874

    Feb 21, 2015 6:33 AM GMT
    It really depends on the context.

    If I text "Dinner at my/our home at 7".
    and the other guy texts "OK", he has said all that I wanted to know, and I am fine with it.

    At times, I have a very heavy workload ahead of me. I am planning my working day in 5-10-15 min segments. Long and complex WhatsApping and txting just may not be an option.

    So, you may want to check on his actual day before you make any judgement here.

    SC

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    Feb 21, 2015 6:40 AM GMT
    When he texts you instead of texting back why not just call and see if he wants to talk. If he doesn't seem to want to talk, then what does that say about the text?
  • wesv

    Posts: 907

    Feb 21, 2015 6:43 AM GMT
    SilverRRCloud saidIt really depends on the context.

    If I text "Dinner at my/our home at 7".
    and the other guy texts "OK", he has said all that I wanted to know, and I am fine with it.

    At times, I have a very heavy workload ahead of me. I am planning my working day in 5-10-15 min segments. Long and complex WhatsApping and txting just may not be an option.

    So, you may want to check on his actual day before you make any judgement here.

    SC



    I used to have deep conversations with my ex through text. He would even say things like "idk, oic, ok" after I send messages of deep emotions and deep thoughts.
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    Feb 21, 2015 6:49 AM GMT
    wesv said
    SilverRRCloud saidIt really depends on the context.

    If I text "Dinner at my/our home at 7".
    and the other guy texts "OK", he has said all that I wanted to know, and I am fine with it.

    At times, I have a very heavy workload ahead of me. I am planning my working day in 5-10-15 min segments. Long and complex WhatsApping and txting just may not be an option.

    So, you may want to check on his actual day before you make any judgement here.

    SC



    I used to have deep conversations with my ex through text. He would even say things like "idk, oic, ok" after I send messages of deep emotions and deep thoughts.


    That's not a great sign.

    I'm very careful with my S.O. regarding my texts. He doesn't know how busy I am or what I'm doing so I pull over and do something a little more complete when stuck at the next red light.
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    Feb 21, 2015 7:37 AM GMT
    I'd say texting should be used for something short and quick rather than a long, extended emotional sharing. A lot of non-verbal communication cues are not there and left up to the reader to interpret the intention of the sender.

    And some people are not into texting, so they just want it to be short, which can offend some people.

    Even emails. I have some friends who love to write long emails, and when he gets short replies, he gets offended. icon_confused.gif
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    Feb 21, 2015 12:44 PM GMT
    polfsky saidI'd say texting should be used for something short and quick rather than a long, extended emotional sharing. A lot of non-verbal communication cues are not there and left up to the reader to interpret the intention of the sender.

    And some people are not into texting, so they just want it to be short, which can offend some people.

    Even emails. I have some friends who love to write long emails, and when he gets short replies, he gets offended. icon_confused.gif


    What I don't like is unending back and forth. If it goes on to five or six immediate rounds then call and talk.
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    Feb 21, 2015 2:01 PM GMT
    If it's during working hours, I think it's totally fair to exchange short texts. However, if it's during the evening and he doesn't tell you that he's busy at a dinner or something like that, then generally I would think he wasn't interested.

  • Feb 21, 2015 2:08 PM GMT
    If there's never an attempt to engage .. and you're always the first one to reach out ... then NOPE ... move on! icon_rolleyes.gif
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    Feb 21, 2015 2:16 PM GMT
    Yes, how someone texts CAN BE a sign of how much effort they want to put into you (which I think is the question behind your question). But it can also just mean the person is not in the mood for an in depth text session. It could mean he's not good at typing lengthy messages on a tiny phone. He could be busy at the moment like at the gym, on the way home, or with others. It could also mean he's simply acknowledging what you're saying but isn't ready to respond at the time. We all have a communication style. Ask him what his is and how he prefers to text.

    As long as you can have meaningful conversations in person or at least over the phone, I wouldn't read too much into it (pun intended).
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    Feb 21, 2015 2:18 PM GMT
    freedomisntfree said
    polfsky saidI'd say texting should be used for something short and quick rather than a long, extended emotional sharing. A lot of non-verbal communication cues are not there and left up to the reader to interpret the intention of the sender.

    And some people are not into texting, so they just want it to be short, which can offend some people.

    Even emails. I have some friends who love to write long emails, and when he gets short replies, he gets offended. icon_confused.gif


    What I don't like is unending back and forth. If it goes on to five or six immediate rounds then call and talk.


    I'm always amazed on how many people can have an entire and lengthy conversation thru texting.
  • NeuralShock

    Posts: 411

    Feb 21, 2015 3:19 PM GMT
    Depends how he acts in person.

    If he is aloof like that in person then instantly I can say that you're better off leaving.

    But some people just text like that- I would never place a premium on text messages unless he was also aloof/distant in real life.
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    Feb 21, 2015 4:54 PM GMT
    To the OP I think that was rude and insensitive of him to not respond in kind except for extenuating circumstances of which he should have acknowledged to you. Sounds like you 2 were not on the same wave length at points in your relationship. Sorry it didn't work out.

    My rant on texting: Texting is the most impersonal, inefficient, inaccurate way to communicate. I am not sure why now anyone under 40 can't F'in talk on the phone even briefly and listen to a voice mail if you leave one but that's where we apparently are now. Go F'in Figure. Phones have been around for 120 years give or take and is a proven although sometimes annoying technology. I mean for Christs sake you are texting ON A PHONE. It's right there in your hand! What's more annoying than a frequently ringing phone is an afternoon of getting texts every couple minutes that you are expected to respond promptly to every one when I should be meeting deadlines or driving down the f'in road.

    My $.02. I woke up grumpy and am now over caffeinated.

    P.S. Texting is a great way to herd cats - get the after work gang together for happy hour or something similar(?). Positive rewards texting is good.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 21, 2015 5:34 PM GMT
    It depends....if every text is that way always...that would bother me. But I sometimes respond that way if I am driving (I know...I know...don't judge...) or with a group of people or at work.
  • starboard5

    Posts: 969

    Feb 21, 2015 6:02 PM GMT
    wesv said
    SilverRRCloud saidIt really depends on the context.

    If I text "Dinner at my/our home at 7".
    and the other guy texts "OK", he has said all that I wanted to know, and I am fine with it.

    At times, I have a very heavy workload ahead of me. I am planning my working day in 5-10-15 min segments. Long and complex WhatsApping and txting just may not be an option.

    So, you may want to check on his actual day before you make any judgement here.

    SC



    I used to have deep conversations with my ex through text. He would even say things like "idk, oic, ok" after I send messages of deep emotions and deep thoughts.



    Texting is not the medium for deep conversations. Deep conversation merits all the tools of communication you can muster...vocal tone, body language, eye contact. "Leaving now. There in 5." That's texting.
  • Hjalmar

    Posts: 97

    Feb 21, 2015 6:56 PM GMT
    Texting is meant to be short and quick, I like it that way. The shorter the better. It´s easy and fast way to deliver a message, so don´t try to get something deeply meaningful soul food out of that. Time to talk comes later on in private or via emails imo.

    Nothing is more irritating, than long text messages icon_rolleyes.gif
  • genotype2013

    Posts: 19

    Feb 21, 2015 7:29 PM GMT
    I don't bother trying to figure out what is going on with other people's head. If I am texting with someone, they already don't have time for a conversation. If I get short messages, I get the impression they are too busy to text. If that happens enough I will stop texting altogether. I too have a busy hectic life. I feel that anyone that says they are too busy is saying they're are too busy for me. I don't take it personal. I find that the less time I spend on useless attempts at communication, the more time I have on projects and people I enjoy taking time for. Conversely, if someone is making an effort to talk to me. If I can't talk at the time. I make an immediate offer to talk later.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 22, 2015 5:56 AM GMT
    No, it is a booty call.
  • BloodFlame

    Posts: 1768

    Feb 22, 2015 6:14 AM GMT
    In my opinion, especially if it's a new person you are getting to know. If they send short text or messages, they most likely aren't that interested. And it's especially true if they don't ask you anything.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 22, 2015 7:21 AM GMT
    The best "talk" is voice.

    Text / SMS / MMS is not talk / speech, or even good communication. It's a regression to the days of the telegraph.

    Many young people now lack the most basic of conversational skills.
  • mwolverine

    Posts: 3385

    Feb 22, 2015 7:29 AM GMT
    Funny how some responses here are one line, and others go on for paragraphs.
    (And how surprising that mine is in the former group. Well, was. lol.)
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 22, 2015 10:24 AM GMT
    starboard5 said
    wesv said
    SilverRRCloud saidIt really depends on the context.

    If I text "Dinner at my/our home at 7".
    and the other guy texts "OK", he has said all that I wanted to know, and I am fine with it.

    At times, I have a very heavy workload ahead of me. I am planning my working day in 5-10-15 min segments. Long and complex WhatsApping and txting just may not be an option.

    So, you may want to check on his actual day before you make any judgement here.

    SC



    I used to have deep conversations with my ex through text. He would even say things like "idk, oic, ok" after I send messages of deep emotions and deep thoughts.



    Texting is not the medium for deep conversations. Deep conversation merits all the tools of communication you can muster...vocal tone, body language, eye contact. "Leaving now. There in 5." That's texting.
    THIS
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 22, 2015 6:30 PM GMT
    Texting is for middle school girls. Communication is 90% tone and body language, no wonder you're having problems relating. Pick up the phone dammit.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 22, 2015 10:27 PM GMT
    wesv said...That was what I often got from my ex when he "cared" about me.


    Your ex, huh? I'm trying out my new hindsight glasses. Yes, in fact, everything is 20/20.
  • wesv

    Posts: 907

    Feb 23, 2015 5:59 AM GMT
    I know solely texting in a relationship means it's not going well. I agree there should be actual phone calls, but it was him who refused to answer most of the time I tried to call. He somehow "cared" about me when he would put his dogs WAY above me. I practically felt less than a dog. Don't tell me that's not sad. I don't even know how it's like to truly have a romantic connection with a guy--someone who cares for me. When I think about it, my ex only liked me for my looks icon_cry.gif He credited his desire for me on my "good personality and good heart" when he would get into these extreme arguments about how "socially awkward" I was. I remember asking him why his communication with me was too brief. He claimed he was too busy but he called up all these other guys and offered to take them out on birthday dates. Seriously I don't ever think I can have a romantic connection.

    I know this was my ex and that is the past, but I am still a bit hurt about how there was no one who really cared for me.