Mainstream gay culture not for non white men???

  • Matthew56

    Posts: 392

    Feb 22, 2015 4:02 AM GMT
    Seeing as mainstream gay culture I.e Saunas, sex clubs, bars is heavily skewed to white men and when I say white men I mean young white men that are considered to be attractive. Then let's face it if you are non white- black, East Asian or don't have any caucasiod features then you will never be truly be sexually accepted or welcome in the gay world. You will always be second place to white men and forever having if you want to be accepted always having to worry and working hard at trying to be attractive.

    Moreover you can never feel happy well at least mostly like white men as you are part of a culture where you are shunned for not being the right race or skin colour due to the gay world placing heavy emphasis on being white. It's not that I don't expect and do not want white men to be the face of gay western culture. I mean I do since whites are the dominant race of this side of the world. It's just that if you are non white prepare to really go through a lot of struggling and hard work of trying to be sexually accepted like me

    Sorry had to get that out out from my chest
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    Feb 22, 2015 4:09 AM GMT
    I have found the gay world to be much more colorblind than mainstream. I have had relationships with men of a number of races and we have appreciated the differences of one another and did not experience prejudice for being a "mixed couple".
  • Apparition

    Posts: 3525

    Feb 22, 2015 4:10 AM GMT
    so you are saying other black gay guys hate you? that is really not a white persons fault is it? There is no mainstream gay society, white or black, so exactly what is the problem? You really only need one guy to sleep with, i am sure you can find one, shack up, fix up a nice victorian house, and be the envy of your new neighours whatever colour you are.
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    Feb 22, 2015 4:17 AM GMT
    In general, yes you're probably right. But.....are you just going to cry about this for the rest of your life or are you going to make the best of your life? I get the feeling you think White men don't struggle with being accepted or feeling attractive. We all have something that is not ideal about us. Either we're too short, balding, little dick, not the right age, wrinkles, etc. Being White is not the automatic key to being accepted you think it is. And even though you've been told this time and time again, I'm going to tell you again so that hopefully it sticks in your thick skull this time......

    IT'S YOUR ATTITUDE THAT'S TURNING GUYS OFF! Work on your self esteem and confidence and you'll see that I'm right.
  • mybud

    Posts: 11836

    Feb 22, 2015 4:21 AM GMT
    You have stated many times you hate being black..Now this...I'll break it down again..Learn to love yourself.I'll no longer post replies regarding these topics by you.
  • Matthew56

    Posts: 392

    Feb 22, 2015 4:22 AM GMT
    Radd saidIn general, yes you're probably right. But.....are you just going to cry about this for the rest of your life or are you going to make the best of your life? I get the feeling you think White men don't struggle with being accepted or feeling attractive. We all have something that is not ideal about us. Either we're too short, balding, little dick, not the right age, wrinkles, etc. Being White is not the automatic key to being accepted you think it is. And even though you've been told this time and time again, I'm going to tell you again so that hopefully it sticks in your thick skull this time......

    IT'S YOUR ATTITUDE THAT'S TURNING GUYS OFF! Work on your self esteem and confidence and you'll see that I'm right.


    Well if they do it's because they are either very old or considered to be "cast offs" but let's face it being white puts you at an extreme advantage in gay life
  • Matthew56

    Posts: 392

    Feb 22, 2015 4:26 AM GMT
    [quote][cite]strongbull said[/cite]I have found the gay world to be much more colorblind than mainstream. I have had relationships with men of a number of races and we have appreciated the differences of one another and did not experience prejudice for being a "mixed couple".[/quote

    Well that is great for you but in view it's the exact opposite the straight world is more colour blind when it comes to sex and relationships and non white men are more happier in their own skin colour compared that to many non white gay men I.e East Asian men who for a lot of them go nuts over white men to the point where they would resort to being with a white man that is old enough to be their grandfather
  • Eli_jah

    Posts: 1391

    Feb 22, 2015 5:35 AM GMT
    I think, for the most part, yes, mainstream gay culture is geared towards young, urbane white men. This seems to be mostly for economic reasons as they have the disposable income to blow at clubs, bars, cruises, and now on weddings. How many ethnic and/or lower class men do you see getting married? Middle class white gay men have used gay marriage as a way into the larger culture.

    It remains to be seen how ethnic and poor gays will gain visibility, if they will start their own movements, but I highly doubt it. The powerless remain powerless and the voiceless remain mute. Social order's gotta stay intact somehow, right?

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    Feb 22, 2015 5:36 AM GMT
    You sir, are an idiot.

    Yes there is a disparity and inequality in this culture (not just gay, but straight as well) to those who aren't white. And yes, most white people deny it and don't believe it exists. Of course they don't, they've never seen it, lived it, or had it fed to them their whole life through endless media and socialization. So part of me can see the base of where you are coming from and it makes me want to sympathize.

    But then you take it to just ungodly extremes.

    Matthew56"Moreover you can never feel happy well at least mostly like white men as you are part of a culture where you are shunned for not being the right race or skin colour due to the gay world placing heavy emphasis on being white."


    Are you fucking kidding? Speak for yourself. I'm not white, and I'm fucking happy. There are white guys out there who love dark skin and love the contrast. Who cares if it is 50%, 10% or 1%. There are still a ton of them.

    Matthew56
    "It's just that if you are non white prepare to really go through a lot of struggling and hard work of trying to be sexually accepted like me "


    Not struggling at all. It's more me saying "Hey I'm Indian, come lick my brown sexy skin" and let them flock towards me icon_smile.gif

    When I was young I used to think being brown would make me less desired too. Then i learned there are guys who love that. I used to think being short and small and thin would make me never get laid in a world full of strong athletic men. You know how many strong athletic white men have loved my thin brown frame???

    What I used to think were my weaknesses I now see as what makes me unique and desirable to the right guys. Not everyone wants it, but what do I care, i'm only interested in the guys who want me. Pretty much everything you posted is bullshit. Just because you hate yourself, doesn't mean that every other minority is miserable and self-loathing either.

    As for being truly welcome in the "Gay world".... fuck the gay world, there is so much more to life than that.

    Seek Therapy, ASAP.
  • Eli_jah

    Posts: 1391

    Feb 22, 2015 5:59 AM GMT
    IRFire66 saidYou sir, are an idiot.

    Yes there is a disparity and inequality in this culture (not just gay, but straight as well) to those who aren't white. And yes, most white people deny it and don't believe it exists. Of course they don't, they've never seen it, lived it, or had it fed to them their whole life through endless media and socialization. So part of me can see the base of where you are coming from and it makes me want to sympathize.

    But then you take it to just ungodly extremes.

    Matthew56"Moreover you can never feel happy well at least mostly like white men as you are part of a culture where you are shunned for not being the right race or skin colour due to the gay world placing heavy emphasis on being white."


    Are you fucking kidding? Speak for yourself. I'm not white, and I'm fucking happy. There are white guys out there who love dark skin and love the contrast. Who cares if it is 50%, 10% or 1%. There are still a ton of them.

    Matthew56
    "It's just that if you are non white prepare to really go through a lot of struggling and hard work of trying to be sexually accepted like me "


    Not struggling at all. It's more me saying "Hey I'm Indian, come lick my brown sexy skin" and let them flock towards me icon_smile.gif

    When I was young I used to think being brown would make me less desired too. Then i learned there are guys who love that. I used to think being short and small and thin would make me never get laid in a world full of strong athletic men. You know how many strong athletic white men have loved my thin brown frame???

    What I used to think were my weaknesses I now see as what makes me unique and desirable to the right guys. Not everyone wants it, but what do I care, i'm only interested in the guys who want me. Pretty much everything you posted is bullshit. Just because you hate yourself, doesn't mean that every other minority is miserable and self-loathing either.

    As for being truly welcome in the "Gay world".... fuck the gay world, there is so much more to life than that.

    Seek Therapy, ASAP.


    You are a fetish to white men. Point blank. Period.

    Yes, the OP is a troll, but it remains a fact. A white man will pretty much always see you as beneath him, and most likely will never choose you as a partner.

    How many times will you allow white men to use your body for the quick thrill of your dark skin, before you get it?

    Gay men of color can be so subservient and clueless, lol. Willing to betray their identities for a chance to suck/get fucked by white cock.
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    Feb 22, 2015 6:14 AM GMT
    Mulignan said
    IRFire66 saidYou sir, are an idiot.

    Yes there is a disparity and inequality in this culture (not just gay, but straight as well) to those who aren't white. And yes, most white people deny it and don't believe it exists. Of course they don't, they've never seen it, lived it, or had it fed to them their whole life through endless media and socialization. So part of me can see the base of where you are coming from and it makes me want to sympathize.

    But then you take it to just ungodly extremes.

    Matthew56"Moreover you can never feel happy well at least mostly like white men as you are part of a culture where you are shunned for not being the right race or skin colour due to the gay world placing heavy emphasis on being white."


    Are you fucking kidding? Speak for yourself. I'm not white, and I'm fucking happy. There are white guys out there who love dark skin and love the contrast. Who cares if it is 50%, 10% or 1%. There are still a ton of them.

    Matthew56
    "It's just that if you are non white prepare to really go through a lot of struggling and hard work of trying to be sexually accepted like me "


    Not struggling at all. It's more me saying "Hey I'm Indian, come lick my brown sexy skin" and let them flock towards me icon_smile.gif

    When I was young I used to think being brown would make me less desired too. Then i learned there are guys who love that. I used to think being short and small and thin would make me never get laid in a world full of strong athletic men. You know how many strong athletic white men have loved my thin brown frame???

    What I used to think were my weaknesses I now see as what makes me unique and desirable to the right guys. Not everyone wants it, but what do I care, i'm only interested in the guys who want me. Pretty much everything you posted is bullshit. Just because you hate yourself, doesn't mean that every other minority is miserable and self-loathing either.

    As for being truly welcome in the "Gay world".... fuck the gay world, there is so much more to life than that.

    Seek Therapy, ASAP.


    You are a fetish to white men. Point blank. Period.

    Yes, the OP is a troll, but it remains a fact. A white man will pretty much always see you as beneath him, and most likely will never choose you as a partner.

    How many times will you allow white men to use your body for the quick thrill of your dark skin, before you get it?

    Gay men of color can be so subservient and clueless, lol. Willing to betray their identities for a chance to suck/get fucked by white cock.


    Thats ok, because they are a fetish to me too. And i fail to see how hooking up is "Betraying" my identity.

    In the end, you can look at the fact that you are in an unequal society, and cry and hate yourself for it, or you can find the positives and have a blast and enjoy the ride. And still love yourself in the process.


  • bobbobbob

    Posts: 2812

    Feb 22, 2015 6:54 AM GMT
    You'll never guess what pisses me off about this thread.

    So far every single damn one of you has been trying to throw fault and blame around, back and forth back and forth. All of you deserve to be slapped for it. Let me explain why.

    Once you start playing the fault and blame game all you're really accomplishing is throwing off the responsibility for figuring out ways to do something about the problem. It all boils down to the same thing as yelling back and forth at each other, "it's your fault so I don't have to help fix it!"

    This shit gets old and it accomplishes not one thing except foster enmity and unwillingness to work together to solve problems.

    Just for a second step back and drop the racial aspects of this. For me it's not a race issue at all because I've run into the same basic clashes year after year after year dealing with employees, charities and even children.

    What we have here is a basic clash of egos struggling to be right about something rather than do right about it. Why do you need to be right about it? Are you going to win a damned Nobel prize for being right? Are you doing to get a trophy or a page on wikipedia for for being right? Are they going to interview you on GMA for being right about this?

    HELL NO! WAKE UP! the only thing anyone is going to get out of this is a sore hand from giving your ego a fucking hand job.

    Now... here's how to handle this correctly.

    Matthew... get ready to delete this post and come back with a new one about this same subject but approaching it from a different path. You need to appeal for and enlist help in finding solutions for the problem rather than try to point blame.

    Try starting off with something like. Title: "trying to figure this out." "what's the best way to do this?"

    "I'd like to be able to feel more comfortable and accepted in predominantly white saunas, sex clubs and bars. Help me out guys! What are the secrets? Do you know of places that I might find it easier? Do any of you know black men who go to paces like this and have better luck than I do?"

    This below would have set the stage for a COMPLETELY different set of responses and turned this into a totally positive and goal oriented conversation. And believe it or not all of you would have been on the same fucking team solving a problem rather than throwing fault and blame around while jerking off your egos.

    Be glad you're not two employees of mine pulling this shit. LOL. I've pretty much cured them all of it. I don't care who they are or what their jobs are from the front office to the part time laborers. When they start doing the blame and fault game over anything and when I hear about it they BOTH are automatically are demoted to cleaning bathrooms, emptying trash, sweeping the lot.

    By the way, I'm not really mad. LOL the only reason I inserted some profanity was to catch your attention. I hope I did. I'd like to help have a conversation about this and look for solutions.

    Let's get with it and work together and see what happens.

    Robert.


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    Feb 22, 2015 8:02 AM GMT
    Matthew56 saidSeeing as mainstream gay culture I.e Saunas, sex clubs, bars is heavily skewed to white men and when I say white men I mean young white men that are considered to be attractive. Then let's face it if you are non white- black, East Asian or don't have any caucasiod features then you will never be truly be sexually accepted or welcome in the gay world. You will always be second place to white men and forever having if you want to be accepted always having to worry and working hard at trying to be attractive.

    Moreover you can never feel happy well at least mostly like white men as you are part of a culture where you are shunned for not being the right race or skin colour due to the gay world placing heavy emphasis on being white.
    It's not that I don't expect and do not want white men to be the face of gay western culture.I mean I do since whites are the dominant race of this side of the world. It's just that if you are non white prepare to really go through a lot of struggling and hard work of trying to be sexually accepted like me

    Sorry had to get that out out from my chest


    Outside of what you've said about mainstream gay culture being geared toward white men (because that is definitely true to a degree). You got me over here looking at my computer screen reading this utter tomfoolery like…

    BISH WHET!?!?
    10896909_824700200924550_268875192282404

    Maybe if you and other non-white gay men like you would stop foaming at the mouth over white men like Kotex…Kleenex…Kyven, whatever his name is, you would be immensely more satisfied with your lives?

    Let's get something straight. White men like him are NEVER going to come checking for you like that. Get over it! It's the most logical thing you can do.

    Matthew56 It's just that if you are non white prepare to really go through a lot of struggling and hard work of trying to be sexually accepted like me


    I don't care about white (or any other race of) men not "sexually accepting" me. I don't need to be sucking a white man's dick or have him cum in my ass or on my face to feel validated or "accepted".

    With all that being said, my advice to you is to stop chasing white men and have them come to you. In the meantime, get some help.

    Deuces!

  • Rene_Aensland

    Posts: 2495

    Feb 22, 2015 8:04 AM GMT
    I wouldn't fuck you.
    Not because you're black, I'd fuck a black man any day.
    It's because you sound like a bitch.

    I don't date little bitches, and you sound like one.
  • Matthew56

    Posts: 392

    Feb 22, 2015 8:47 AM GMT
    Rene_Aensland saidI wouldn't fuck you.
    Not because you're black, I'd fuck a black man any day.
    It's because you sound like a bitch.

    I don't date little bitches, and you sound like one.


    Lol
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    Feb 22, 2015 11:10 AM GMT
    Mulignan said
    IRFire66 saidYou sir, are an idiot.

    Yes there is a disparity and inequality in this culture (not just gay, but straight as well) to those who aren't white. And yes, most white people deny it and don't believe it exists. Of course they don't, they've never seen it, lived it, or had it fed to them their whole life through endless media and socialization. So part of me can see the base of where you are coming from and it makes me want to sympathize.

    But then you take it to just ungodly extremes.

    Matthew56"Moreover you can never feel happy well at least mostly like white men as you are part of a culture where you are shunned for not being the right race or skin colour due to the gay world placing heavy emphasis on being white."


    Are you fucking kidding? Speak for yourself. I'm not white, and I'm fucking happy. There are white guys out there who love dark skin and love the contrast. Who cares if it is 50%, 10% or 1%. There are still a ton of them.

    Matthew56
    "It's just that if you are non white prepare to really go through a lot of struggling and hard work of trying to be sexually accepted like me "


    Not struggling at all. It's more me saying "Hey I'm Indian, come lick my brown sexy skin" and let them flock towards me icon_smile.gif

    When I was young I used to think being brown would make me less desired too. Then i learned there are guys who love that. I used to think being short and small and thin would make me never get laid in a world full of strong athletic men. You know how many strong athletic white men have loved my thin brown frame???

    What I used to think were my weaknesses I now see as what makes me unique and desirable to the right guys. Not everyone wants it, but what do I care, i'm only interested in the guys who want me. Pretty much everything you posted is bullshit. Just because you hate yourself, doesn't mean that every other minority is miserable and self-loathing either.

    As for being truly welcome in the "Gay world".... fuck the gay world, there is so much more to life than that.

    Seek Therapy, ASAP.


    You are a fetish to white men. Point blank. Period.

    Yes, the OP is a troll, but it remains a fact. A white man will pretty much always see you as beneath him, and most likely will never choose you as a partner.

    How many times will you allow white men to use your body for the quick thrill of your dark skin, before you get it?

    Gay men of color can be so subservient and clueless, lol. Willing to betray their identities for a chance to suck/get fucked by white cock.


    It is absolutely wrong to assume "ALL white men" anything.
    Just like it is wrong to lump all black men together. Personally I am attracted to a person no matter what color or nationality. It's not a fetish. The other person is not beneath me. I am really sorry that you have such a poor opinion of yourself, and the history sucks, but stereotyping does not get us anywhere.
  • BTBruce

    Posts: 32

    Feb 22, 2015 2:06 PM GMT
    Attitude is everything. Self confidence is sexy ... insecurity is not. If you think yourself to be unworthy or somehow impaired, then that is how you'll be perceived. Try to portray sel-confidence (even if you don't actually feel it). Attractiveness is not limited to a certain race.
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    Feb 22, 2015 2:29 PM GMT
    If all gay black men are like the usual cast of characters that frequently post here on the forums, it's no wonder they feel marginalized and unaccepted by the gay community at large. What a bunch of miserable, whiney, Debbie Downers.

    Luckily, the majority of black men I've had the good fortune to run into in real life aren't like this.
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    Feb 22, 2015 2:33 PM GMT
    Matthew56 said
    Radd saidIn general, yes you're probably right. But.....are you just going to cry about this for the rest of your life or are you going to make the best of your life? I get the feeling you think White men don't struggle with being accepted or feeling attractive. We all have something that is not ideal about us. Either we're too short, balding, little dick, not the right age, wrinkles, etc. Being White is not the automatic key to being accepted you think it is. And even though you've been told this time and time again, I'm going to tell you again so that hopefully it sticks in your thick skull this time......

    IT'S YOUR ATTITUDE THAT'S TURNING GUYS OFF! Work on your self esteem and confidence and you'll see that I'm right.


    Well if they do it's because they are either very old or considered to be "cast offs" but let's face it being white puts you at an extreme advantage in gay life


    And your point is?

    So what if you're right and being White does put you at an advantage? NEWSFLASH: YOU AIN'T WHITE DUDE! Are you going to spend your whole life whining about something you can't change or are you going to start acting like a man and grow some balls? You've got a zillion guys here telling you it's your attitude that makes you unattractive but you keep insisting it's your skin color. I wouldn't fuck you if you were White, solid muscle and a big dick to boot because your low self esteem makes you very unattractive.
  • dextersima

    Posts: 26

    Feb 22, 2015 2:43 PM GMT
    There are a lot of racial/cultural ignorant people out there. Look at grindr, there are tons of "white only, sorry just a preference" guys. (And fuck off with the "I have black friends" crap, you are still a racist) Liking men of colors is somewhat considered exotic and a fetish. That's just part of America, not the gay culture specifically. And it should be changed.

    People are more comfortable with people that are similar to them. I think it's natural. But there are a lot of people who are more exposed to different cultures and love people as they are. And who cares if some white folk likes me or not. Be happy and care less about it.

  • Feb 22, 2015 3:21 PM GMT
    Why the fascist response rather than empathy?

  • Feb 22, 2015 3:25 PM GMT
    To police his self esteem is actually a racist and psychically violent act
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    Feb 22, 2015 3:26 PM GMT
    JockPunkBohemian saidWhy the fascist response rather than empathy?

    Because OP keeps repeating the same thing over and over. Just check his posting history. People can only empathize so much. After a while, people find it irritating.

  • Feb 22, 2015 3:31 PM GMT
    Intimacy is dissolution – may the world be more bohemian less puritan in order for progress
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    Feb 22, 2015 3:41 PM GMT
    What the majority of habitual whiners fail to realize is the all the "raging against the machine" they do only serves to make themselves more and more miserable. They wind up getting caught in a cycle of misery.

    They fail to realize the only attitudes and behaviors they can change are their own. They are constantly banging their heads against a wall because they are trying to change others when the only one they can truly change is themselves.