williamgeo saidSo I'm 24 and have been single my whole life. I've waved the single flag with pride in the past, proclaiming that I'd grown up to be independent and knew who I was as a result - whilst true, there have also been many times it sucked. I watched my friends fall in love, get into relationships, breakup and go through it all again 2 or 3 times whilst I waited for my turn. I developed feelings for guys which were never returned and that made things a lot harder.
Right now, all but one of my friends are in long term relationships. Everyone's planning on moving in with their partners and once again I'm trying to shake off the remaining feelings I have for a guy who broke my heart 4 months ago. What I'm interested in are the ways to find true happiness by oneself. If I can't find love in my life, what can I do to fill that gap with something just as fulfilling? My friends assure me that it will happen 'eventually' but it's hard sitting around not knowing what it is I'm even waiting for.
I can relate to this. I live in the straight world, which may make it even worse because about 24-28 is when EVERYBODY starts getting married, facebook becomes endless wedding pics, and then baby pics, and then family pics, and us single people are left sitting in the dust wondering what the hell just happened.
In the gay world it's a little different, because as a generality (i know, not everyone) guys seem to mature for real relationships at a much later age than 24. You really have nothing to worry about here.
Falling in love, starting relationships, breaking up, and repeating over and over, like you mentioned, isn't an awesome thing. If the emotions are real, it's pretty gutwrenching and not really something you should be feeling jealous of in anyway. You just said somebody broke your heart 4 months ago.
I've been single for way longer than you, I honestly think I'm one of those people just meant to be on my own for the long haul. I have a huge social life, lots of great friends, have had a great sex life etc, so I'm not sure what the exact issue is, but it's not a big deal right now either. It used to bother me a lot, but now I've found a lot of joy in being on my own so maybe i can share a little of my own perspective?
For one, stop labeling yourself as being "alone". That itself denotes your situation as a negative one, or as an incomplete one. I say I'm on my own, and im sure there are other more positive ways to view and describe yourself as still whole when not in a relationship.
The two main things that have helped a lot for me are hobbies and a social life.
Keep socializing, keep meeting new friends, and keep meeting their friends. Dont necessarily try doing this in hopes that each new person you will meet will be "the one" or you'll find yourself searching too much. This can kinda backfire sometimes if you are only meeting people in serious relationships, so this is why it's important to keep meeting new people too. It trains your brain to see more single people out there, and to make your world feel more expansive, and you'll feel much less "alone" as you continue to develop new relationships with people.
The other is hobbies. This is sooo important to finding joy in being alone. Keep trying new things. Even if you have hobbies you like now. Keep doing new activities, trying new group classes, etc. For one, you will keep meeting new and interesting people that way, but more importantly eventually as you keep exploring, you will eventually find things you are very passionate about, and from there you can throw yourself into your passion and live a passionate life!
Don't sit around watching your friends and 'Waiting for your turn". Life is short and thats a huge waste of time! Instead, fill that time building awesome new friendships and finding and doing things that you absolutely love and completely throw yourself into. That is how you will find joy in being on your own.
You are younger than you think and good looking, you will be fine. In the meantime, go live life