Open relationships

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 23, 2015 6:05 AM GMT
    How do these work for you guys. I have never been anything other than monogamous. Is it really so easy to let your boyfriend get fucked by other guys?
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    Feb 23, 2015 7:14 AM GMT
    Oweng100 saidHow do these work for you guys. I have never been anything other than monogamous. Is it really so easy to let your boyfriend get fucked by other guys?


    There is no "let your boyfriend get fucked" from the viewpoint of an open relationship because "to let" presupposes control of one over the other, you know, as featured in monogamy and other jealous sport. That won’t play in an open relationship which is based on the loyal commitment of two individuals who don’t restrain each other to monogamy.
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    Feb 23, 2015 7:22 AM GMT
    theantijock said
    Oweng100 saidHow do these work for you guys. I have never been anything other than monogamous. Is it really so easy to let your boyfriend get fucked by other guys?


    There is no "let your boyfriend get fucked" from the viewpoint of an open relationship because "to let" presupposes control of one over the other, you know, as featured in monogamy and other jealous sport. That won’t play in an open relationship which is based on the loyal commitment of two individuals who don’t restrain each other to monogamy.


    hole lotta crap icon_rolleyes.gif
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    Feb 23, 2015 9:06 AM GMT
    Every open relationship has its own ground rules - every one is different.
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    Feb 23, 2015 2:04 PM GMT
    Some guy's can compartmentalize (thank God) some guys can't--making love vs. fucking.
    If you or your man can't be caught looking at another man without getting jealous or doing three hundred crunches it is probably best you keep it simple.


    BTW. Does Luke Casey know you are using his pics????
    if not, you may want to change your location to Sydney, Australia...just say'n
  • Destinharbor

    Posts: 4433

    Feb 23, 2015 2:39 PM GMT
    dustin_K_tx saidSome guy's can compartmentalize (thank God) some guys can't--making love vs. fucking.
    If you or your man can't be caught looking at another man without getting jealous or doing three hundred crunches it is probably best you keep it simple.


    BTW. Does Luke Casey know you are using his pics????
    if not, you may want to change your location to Sydney, Australia...just say'n

    Great answer. This is it in a nutshell. And it doesn't have to be cut in stone. If you (or more likely your partner) want to go open, agree on rules. But you can also agree that both will stop immediately if the other asks him to. That can relieve some of the pressure on jealousy.
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    Feb 23, 2015 5:36 PM GMT
    It might not even be necessarily compartmentalizing though it can be because to say compartmentalizing in this case seems to me to presume a naturally occurring connection between "making love" and fucking--just as "letting", per my above post, presupposes control--that a compartmentalizing would be by that required to separate that, that those feelings of "making love" aren't merely some emotional, chemical construct overlaid onto a biological experience; so whether or not compartmentalized, I suppose, might depend on how that's all intellectualized/rationalized based on what a person requires to be comfortable in their own world.

    Example: are two monogamous individuals engaged only with each other in expressing the s&m required to get them off making love? Does love express itself as pain or is that a perversion, a perverted definition of what love is? And even if so then is that perverted variety just as valid as mainstream love? Who gets to decide that? I don't decide for others, just for me, but I did live across the street from a hetero couple seriously into their s&m with their windows opened and screams reaching into my house whereby I'd turn up some music to mask it. Their "making love" made me and my other neighbors in ear shot cringe.

    And certainly we know that sharing love between people doesn't require "making love" or this would be much more of a sticky world, though probably less cohesive.
  • ChicagoSteve

    Posts: 1276

    Feb 23, 2015 7:44 PM GMT
    I'm curious to get other opinions here. If you have just met someone who you are very attracted to, and they say they already have a boyfriend but are still interested, would you pursue it any further? I think it's a losing proposition for the single guy. Not to be prudish, but I am an old fashioned kind of a guy, I would be respectful of someone already being in a relationship. I know some guys can get into that kind of arrangement and be comfortable with it, and am in no way judging them, but I'm not sure I can. I can't see keeping your emotions in check once you cross the line, what if you really fall for the guy? The single man is going to get hurt.
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    Feb 24, 2015 3:52 PM GMT
    ChicagoSteve said... I can't see keeping your emotions in check once you cross the line, what if you really fall for the guy? The single man is going to get hurt.
    there is an infinite supply of one night stands. if emotions get hurt move on to the next.

    the part of a relationship that does it for me is that you have a best friend. Someone's got your back. Pick the right man and you have a slightly easier life. pick the wrong one an its hell.

    All dicks mostly look the same. The bad is the dick is attached to a brain. If i have to put up with living with someone every day i can bottom the same dick.


    -no reason your relationship is not just as important as the one your parents had or have.
    -as soon as your partner does some big bad, given enough time you will commit the same bad.
    -get a new job. Move to a new city. New boy friend. All that is not going to change you enough to matter.