Saving someone for after your slut phase

  • highforthis

    Posts: 681

    Feb 24, 2015 7:03 AM GMT
    A guy I've been starting told me he doesn't want to date at this time, but wants to see us together in the future. Like he thinks I could be the one, but doesn't want to start anything since he wants to sleep with hotter guys with less-compatible personalities while he's still young and able to. I was finding that he wasn't my type anyway personality-wise, but is that a thing now? Mandatory slut phase?
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    Feb 24, 2015 7:30 AM GMT
    icon_confused.gif What is this "after" that you speak of?
  • SilverRRCloud

    Posts: 873

    Feb 24, 2015 7:59 AM GMT
    Nope. Congress has not passed any act to that effect, hence it ain't really mandatory. icon_lol.gif

    It is more of a diplomatic thing saying, "there are hotter dudes out there than you, and I am very keen on jumping their bones if and when possible. Should I fail, I'd like to be able to come back to you, because I really like you, and we could have the next best thing going...

    SC
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    Mar 02, 2015 3:18 AM GMT
    highforthis saidA guy I've been starting told me he doesn't want to date at this time, but wants to see us together in the future. Like he thinks I could be the one, but doesn't want to start anything since he wants to sleep with hotter guys with less-compatible personalities while he's still young and able to. I was finding that he wasn't my type anyway personality-wise, but is that a thing now? Mandatory slut phase?


    I don't think that's a thing. He's just a dick with no internal monologue.
  • highforthis

    Posts: 681

    Apr 02, 2015 3:04 AM GMT
    So as it turns out, he wants to wait until he's 25 (2 years later) and then reassess if I'm still the one and still available lol. The gays... icon_lol.gif
  • SilverRRCloud

    Posts: 873

    Apr 02, 2015 7:51 AM GMT
    Your life - your call!

    I'd move on very, very fast.

    The dude is simply demonstrating that he is perceiving you (and possibly other people) as tools for him to use when and if needed.

    A serious LTR rests on the very strong emotional bonds between the two people. If he is not ready for a monogamous relationship, that's fine. This is his prerogative. But if he sees you as a waiting Penelope for him to reasses and re-evaluate as and when he finds fit, than, the emotional bond is missing.

    SC
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    Apr 02, 2015 7:39 PM GMT
    both boys have to be in side relationship boat. if any.
  • Destinharbor

    Posts: 4435

    Apr 02, 2015 8:21 PM GMT
    It's pretty normal for young guys to want to "sow wild oats" as the saying goes. Not settle down right away. Play the field. All these terms are as old as history. I think the guy is being rather mature to recognize that he's just not ready to get serious yet. I see nothing wrong with that. You'd rather know that up front than find out later. Most guys don't actually leave that phase until they fall in love. It's the recognition that "I'd rather be with you than anyone else for the rest of my life" that changes the pattern. But most guys have to play a while before they're ready for that. Not all. Some want to "Lock this thing down" early.
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Apr 02, 2015 8:40 PM GMT
    lol that he predicts he'll be ready to settle down at 25. It takes longer than two years to loosen a head that is so firmly lodged in an ass.
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    Apr 03, 2015 1:12 AM GMT
    "Saving someone for after your slut phase"


    bde93964eb269cac2e15d4459fd816a8.jpg
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    Apr 10, 2015 1:26 AM GMT
    Move on. You deserve better.
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    Apr 10, 2015 2:26 AM GMT
    Don't be anyone's plan B.
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    Apr 10, 2015 4:08 AM GMT
    I need a sample and will get back with yoU!
    lol
  • MikemikeMike

    Posts: 6932

    Apr 10, 2015 6:58 AM GMT
    highforthis saidA guy I've been starting told me he doesn't want to date at this time, but wants to see us together in the future. Like he thinks I could be the one, but doesn't want to start anything since he wants to sleep with hotter guys with less-compatible personalities while he's still young and able to. I was finding that he wasn't my type anyway personality-wise, but is that a thing now? Mandatory slut phase?


    I thought you were in your teens based on your writing skills. "Like he thinks"

    Best advice, never make someone a priority that keeps you as an option.icon_idea.gif
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    Apr 10, 2015 7:23 AM GMT
    highforthis saidis that a thing now? Mandatory slut phase?

    These unfortunate prudish Victorian guys these days who are only looking for a long term relationship have really missed out. I remember with great fondness my slutty years before AIDS before I went celibate. I had a blast.
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    Apr 10, 2015 11:04 AM GMT
    Wow, basically sounds like, if no one better comes along, I guess I'll take what I can get with you a few years down the road.

    Sounds like a disaster.
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    Apr 11, 2015 2:53 PM GMT
    That's so horrible to hear that. He just totally doesn't value you at all because he's basically said that he thinks there are better guys out there, but in case there isn't, then he'll come back to you.

    The sad truth is that so many gay men actually do this though.
    It seems they are always looking out for the next best guy until either they've done it too long and will settle for who they can find because they aren't at a 'marketable' age any more, or they settle for open relationships or multiple fuck buddies.

    For most gay men, it's just all about the sex so it's no surprise that gay men will only wait around until the next best thing comes along.
    Nobody is ever good enough because they'll always think there is someone else even better.