Like a young idiot, I always think that **Oh, there's always a better man coming along, cuter, younger, better ...etc !! Of course, many gay men ended up being single for most of their lives rather than taking risks, I felt a little bit fortunate to have some *love and lost in my life but still It's not enough. Have any of you ever wondered about that one guy who was a perfect match for you but he got away???
I may have BEEN that guy who got away. I know, sounds a bit vain, but here's the story:
We dated for 2 years, but not monogamously. He told me freely that he was still holding out for the right guy, and I wasn't it. For one thing I didn't have enough money, not as rich as him. But in the meantime I would be OK until that perfect guy came along, I just wasn't him.
I continued to date him because I thought I could change his mind, make him realize that I WAS the guy for him. And obviously I really loved him, hoped one day he'd feel the same about me.
But when things didn't change after 2 years I threw in the towel, and moved to Florida. I fell in love with another guy, and eventually moved in with him, becoming partners.
Not a week later I got a call from my ex-BF, who said he was coming to Florida to buy a house for the 2 of us. He realized after I'd left that I really was the right guy for him after all. He didn't know I had just accepted this other guy's proposal a few days earlier.
I had to say no to him. I'd already made a commitment to someone else, whom I'm still with 8 years later. I don't betray people who open their hearts to me and invite me into their lives.
And frankly, I didn't feel I could trust my ex's promise to now be monogamous, a requirement I have for a partner. I knew it wasn't in his nature. He never did buy a home in Florida, and to my knowledge he's still single at 63. If I was the one who "got away" it wasn't my fault, but his.