Anyone with an identical/fraternal twin who is straight?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 27, 2015 2:30 AM GMT
    So I'm still closeted to most people in my life, including my family. I've told a couple good friends and it's been great so far. I'm really not worried about telling my family except for one person: my twin brother.

    When we were growing up, he used to tease and bully me a lot (in the typical brother fashion), most of which was centered around me being gay, whether he actually believed it or not. It wasn't until after high school that he stopped, and even though he's been better, I'm still not sure how much of those feelings still linger and how he'll handle it at first.

    On one hand, I hope he already knows being that we've grown up together and lived together for the first 22 years of our lives. I've since moved away and whenever we see each other he still doesn't hug me or even acknowledge that he is happy to see me i.e. he doesn't do normal things family does when they've been apart for a long time. We hang out a lot when I visit, but he's not the most open person emotionally...

    Is there anyone on here with an identical twin or sibling similar to my brother? How did you go about telling them and how did they react?
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    Feb 27, 2015 5:04 PM GMT
    not a brother; a fraternal Sister.
    and yes it didn't turn out well.
    She couldn't and mostly still can't handle it.
    She refuses to believe, believe she didn't know--how could I not tell her?
    I thought we'd come to a don't ask don't tell arrangement, but she had a melt down when a half dunk me admitted to being with some of the same guys as her in high school.
    It hurts a lot, as we were so close growing up, what with abusive parents who moved so often there was no making of real friends.
    Only thing I can advise is not to put it off; although, it sounds as if he already knows and like so many other family members, would appreciate it if you let him live in denial.
    Putting it off only allows them to think you didn't trust them enough to tell them.
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    Feb 27, 2015 5:22 PM GMT
    I don't have a twin brother , but we are only 10 months apart .

    My only uncle was gay , so it always have been an easy subject to talk about in my family , the fact that my uncle was really a wonderful bloke , being gay was never seen as a bad thing .

    In my late teens when i told my brother i was into blokes and girls , he said " i am jealous , you are going to get so more chances to get laid "...icon_smile.gif
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    Feb 27, 2015 11:13 PM GMT
    neffa said In my late teens when i told my brother i was into blokes and girls , he said " i am jealous , you are going to get so more chances to get laid "...icon_smile.gif


    LOL

    On top of everything my brother has a pretty good sense of humor, too... maybe that'll help him deal with it haha.

    I read some old posts on here regarding the same thing and concluded that it's his problem, not mine. I do agree, Dustin, that I shouldn't put it off.

    Thanks for sharing, guys.
  • Apparition

    Posts: 3534

    Mar 01, 2015 6:09 AM GMT
    Steal some of his things and photograph yourself doing gay stuff with guys and post it on his facebook page as him if he reacts badly
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    Mar 01, 2015 12:43 PM GMT
    Apparition saidSteal some of his things and photograph yourself doing gay stuff with guys and post it on his facebook page as him if he reacts badly


    D'oh... you beat me to it!
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    Mar 02, 2015 4:46 AM GMT
    Elder brother found out about me...
    When he saw his computer search history loaded with gay & bi porn...(I was young & technologically challenged back then)...
    Anyhow, he made sure that I was aware that he had found out...
    I was more embaressed that he knew what kinda fetishes I had than about being outed...
    He never confronted or discouraged me...& nothing changed between us either (I wish it did..he pisses me off..aaaarrghh)
    So I knew he was fine with it... icon_biggrin.gif

    You should test the waters a bit with some hints & see whats his reaction....
    I think your bro may already have some idea...
    Are you feminine...or did you ever do anything gay in front of your bro??
    If yes, then I think he surely had a passing thought...
    My bro first suspected me when I had posters of cricketers all over my room...(I ve no clue how that seems gay)...



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    Mar 02, 2015 11:05 PM GMT
    JoyThe2nd saidElder brother found out about me...
    When he saw his computer search history loaded with gay & bi porn...(I was young & technologically challenged back then)...
    Anyhow, he made sure that I was aware that he had found out...
    I was more embaressed that he knew what kinda fetishes I had than about being outed...
    He never confronted or discouraged me...& nothing changed between us either (I wish it did..he pisses me off..aaaarrghh)
    So I knew he was fine with it... icon_biggrin.gif

    You should test the waters a bit with some hints & see whats his reaction....
    I think your bro may already have some idea...
    Are you feminine...or did you ever do anything gay in front of your bro??
    If yes, then I think he surely had a passing thought...
    My bro first suspected me when I had posters of cricketers all over my room...(I ve no clue how that seems gay)...





    No, I'm not feminine at all IMO. But he caught me a couple times when we were in high school looking at questionable stuff...nothing explicitly gay, like bodybuilding blogs, muscle guys in straight porn, bi stuff, there was always a girl involved, but I was definitely looking at the guys. We shared a room so I never had anything hanging up, etc. that would have given him any idea.
    Just thinking back to how much he made fun of me makes me think he picked up on it somehow (maybe how I acted differently than our friends, I don't know) and was not mature enough to handle it.

    Thanks again, everyone, for sharing.
  • Bunjamon

    Posts: 3161

    Mar 03, 2015 12:03 AM GMT
    I have a fraternal twin sister. Coming out to her didn't change anything in our relationship, and we're still close (much closer now than we ever were when we were very young and living under the same roof).
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    Mar 03, 2015 6:28 AM GMT
    FutureDoc said
    JoyThe2nd saidElder brother found out about me...
    When he saw his computer search history loaded with gay & bi porn...(I was young & technologically challenged back then)...
    Anyhow, he made sure that I was aware that he had found out...
    I was more embaressed that he knew what kinda fetishes I had than about being outed...
    He never confronted or discouraged me...& nothing changed between us either (I wish it did..he pisses me off..aaaarrghh)
    So I knew he was fine with it... icon_biggrin.gif

    You should test the waters a bit with some hints & see whats his reaction....
    I think your bro may already have some idea...
    Are you feminine...or did you ever do anything gay in front of your bro??
    If yes, then I think he surely had a passing thought...
    My bro first suspected me when I had posters of cricketers all over my room...(I ve no clue how that seems gay)...





    No, I'm not feminine at all IMO. But he caught me a couple times when we were in high school looking at questionable stuff...nothing explicitly gay, like bodybuilding blogs, muscle guys in straight porn, bi stuff, there was always a girl involved, but I was definitely looking at the guys. We shared a room so I never had anything hanging up, etc. that would have given him any idea.
    Just thinking back to how much he made fun of me makes me think he picked up on it somehow (maybe how I acted differently than our friends, I don't know) and was not mature enough to handle it.

    Thanks again, everyone, for sharing.


    Hmm...well if I shared a room with a guy for year, I would definitely know if he is gay or not...So I still maintain that you bro may already have some idea...even if its just at the back of his mind...!!
    You say that he made fun of you a lot...
    If he made fun of you for being gay/feminine etc then I am quite sure he knows that you are not straight...
    Maybe you should make fun of him about being gay...he ll tell you no & when he starts to get a bit worked up...tell him you are gay...& that you thought he was too coz you guys are twins n stuff.... Problem solved... :-D