Dating question, if you like someone, leave him guessing, ignore him to get the guy??

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 27, 2015 10:04 PM GMT
    Lol, I read that somewhere, you should appear interested, switched numbers and then sorta ignored him and keep him guessing, don't appear too desperated... Does this work? Anyone try this? Is this another game playing scenario?? Lol
  • Destinharbor

    Posts: 4435

    Feb 27, 2015 10:27 PM GMT
    It is totally game-playing. It doesn't work and usually causes any guy with any sense to immediately look elsewhere. If you can't be yourself around a guy you like, why should he bother with you? This type of game playing reminds me of the old, silly stuff that used to be the norm between men and women. Men chased and women played hard-to-get. It was a sign of the man's virility and the woman's modesty. It goes back to the perceived need of a woman's virginity so the man would have assurance that any child the couple produced would be his biological heir. For a guy to play that game is both repulsive and emasculating to the game player.
  • glowstik

    Posts: 150

    Feb 28, 2015 12:53 AM GMT
    Any behavior that is attempted to control another person is only displaying the incomplete identity and immaturity of an individual.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 28, 2015 1:22 AM GMT
    The Good News: Yes it works.

    The Bad News: It only works for emotionally damaged people. So if you want someone who is insecure and has abandonment issues, by all means ignore him.
  • NeuralShock

    Posts: 411

    Feb 28, 2015 4:18 AM GMT
    Horrible idea to play with anyone like that.

    I feel a relationship should be based off of two people being themselves and SAFE and STABLE with one another. No need to make eahothers life hellish and unpredictable.
  • mybud

    Posts: 11837

    Feb 28, 2015 4:39 AM GMT
    The bars are filled with gay guys ignoring, or playing hard to get with somebody their interested it...They end up leaning against the wall and doing nothing..Real men..look around...see what they're interested in...and make the move..Ignoring is a bull shit tactic.
  • SilverRRCloud

    Posts: 875

    Feb 28, 2015 6:27 AM GMT
    Nope. This does not really work. The endgame is a loss for both parties involved.

    If you feel attracted to someone, make this clear in simple, unmistakable terms. Do not appear to be clingy, desperate. You are not, so why lie?

    Playing "difficult to get" will get you nowhere. As pointed out by a previous poster, a dude who has a healthy sense of self-esteem will quickly move on. A dude who has issues, emotional baggage, etc., may fall for your ploy. Leaving you with a date who is most likely not going to work out for you.

    Honesty is usually the best policy. If there are very serious reasons for you to look into other options, do so. But honesty has been and remains a good default.

    SC
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 28, 2015 11:42 AM GMT
    Indicating that you are interested in someone doesn't make you seem desperate. It shows that you know what you want, and that can be quite attractive. And if the other party is not interested in you, you can move on. Even in the gay world, there are plenty of fish in the sea.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 28, 2015 11:08 PM GMT
    Maybe this all has to do with having an ego? Guys who don't show emotions and don't want to get their ego bruised or hurt, so they have a wall and keeping a man out??
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 28, 2015 11:41 PM GMT
    I hate those kinds of games, total turn off. I never had a problem with someone coming up to me and showing interest. Maybe we hit it off maybe not, but bully to him for saying hi.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 01, 2015 9:58 AM GMT
    Isn't this what people do with people they are not interested in? I think this probably only works with people who think everybody is in love with them, and for the most part that wouldn't apply to gay people who are going to be used to rejection (from straight guys).
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    Mar 02, 2015 9:32 PM GMT
    I don't think that's a great idea, to be honest. Most women have the tendancy to play mind games (and I don't like them; I mind the mind games a lot) and we are men, not women. Just go straight forward, grab what you want and love them to the fullest.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 03, 2015 6:50 AM GMT
    Ohno saidIsn't this what people do with people they are not interested in? I think this probably only works with people who think everybody is in love with them, and for the most part that wouldn't apply to gay people who are going to be used to rejection (from straight guys).


    haha interesting, I'm not referring to straight guys though. I think it's a mental playing game mentality, sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. But yeah, I think it's mostly do with having an Ego. It's like **You can't dump or hurt me first, since I ignored and dumped you first!!**. IDK, that was an interesting article and perspective I read.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 03, 2015 1:41 PM GMT
    mybud saidThe bars are filled with gay guys ignoring, or playing hard to get with somebody their interested it...They end up leaning against the wall and doing nothing..Real men..look around...see what they're interested in...and make the move..Ignoring is a bull shit tactic.


    Amen