My "familiar name issue"

  • 0ne_Half

    Posts: 14

    Mar 01, 2015 4:41 AM GMT
    Lately in my misadventures with dating i've come to notice a particular quirk of mine. I'll meet a guy, and more often than not they are handsome or funny or display any sort of desirable trait. They make an adequate first impression and in my head i'm like, "yeah, this guy has some potential." But then I discover they have the same first name as me, or someone close and i'm just like, "Nope. About face." Is this just me being my usual quirky self or is anyone else like this.
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    Mar 01, 2015 4:50 AM GMT
    Change your name, to Clarence, Herbert, Cornelius, or Archibald, for example.
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    Mar 01, 2015 4:52 AM GMT
    0ne_Half saidLately in my misadventures with dating i've come to notice a particular quirk of mine. I'll meet a guy, and more often than not they are handsome or funny or display any sort of desirable trait. They make an adequate first impression and in my head i'm like, "yeah, this guy has some potential." But then I discover they have the same first name as me, or someone close and i'm just like, "Nope. About face." Is this just me being my usual quirky self or is anyone else like this.

    Is this a serious question?
    It takes someone as young as you not to understand that you don't throw away good guys for dumb reasons. There aren't enough of the good ones out there.
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    Mar 01, 2015 4:58 AM GMT
    If it bothers you that much, just give him a pet name. Call him stud, or sweetie, or meat muffins.
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    Mar 01, 2015 5:03 AM GMT
    I had a coworker who was named Steve who had been on the track team in college. He hired another fellow former track member also named Steve. They solved the problem by going by their last names, which is no doubt what their track coach called them by.

    Nonetheless, the opportunity to change your name to Archibald should not be dismissed lightly.
  • creature

    Posts: 5197

    Mar 01, 2015 5:08 AM GMT
    That is a really bad excuse to drop the guy.
  • NeuralShock

    Posts: 411

    Mar 01, 2015 5:17 AM GMT
    Horrific reason to not be with a guy lol

    Guess that is why so many guys are still single and alone , sheesh.
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    Mar 01, 2015 6:20 AM GMT
    My first serious relationship was with, you guessed it, another Mike. It didn't bother me at all, and our friends always called me by my first and middle names to alleviate any confusion. Don't pass up a potentially great opportunity by not dating someone because of their name.
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    Mar 01, 2015 6:29 PM GMT
    Completely natural though it only bugs me if it's an incestuous name like my brother's or my father's and definitely if he goes by my mother's name, yeah, that's a deal killer.

    So I think your feelings are valid but then his other qualities might determine how you deal with it. At least hang in there one more date and I'm certain you'll find five other reasons your critics will agree acceptable.

    While it is true that you can compartmentalize thoughts, it's bullshit to think that not one iota of that won't leak through. So if he had my name, well, weird but not a big problem, it would save on monogramming. A friend's name, not a problem. The name of someone who had hurt me? That might be a problem. Depending on the leak, sometimes you bail, sometimes you abandon ship.

    Learning that a guy has that familiar of a name is like reaching into his pants and feeling a cockring or a PA. Ick. So for me, in theory, that's just too distracting. In practice, I've only come across that situation--the name, not the cockring--once and I did go on that second date and that name was foreshadowing, be that my imagination or not. He was a nice guy, but still, my initial hesitation fit the situation.

    You don't want to confuse one thing for another but you do want to be able to read into all of life and names have meaning to me. Certainly there's no reason to have to expend energy on detrimental associations be that an abusive person or even the associating of intrusive thought. Why dwell in that reminder?

    I had a command for wolfpuppy when I wanted him to avoid something I thought bad: "leave it be".
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    Mar 01, 2015 6:35 PM GMT
    Limit your dates to foreigners or recent immigrants. It is unlikely that any will have common English names. You could even get some mental exercise out of dating by practicing spelling and pronouncing the unusual foreign names.
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    Mar 01, 2015 6:51 PM GMT
    I've found myself dating more "Toms" that any other guy, and one became my first partner. And I never sought a Tom - a guy would interest me in a gay club, or online, and only afterwards I found out his name was Tom. It started to freak me.

    But here's where it gets even stranger. Whenever someone forgets my name, they will call ME Tom! I have no idea why. Do I look like a Tom? It's like almost every time, kinda scary to me. Not Bill, or Barry, or Mike, but Tom. When it happens I almost shudder.

    Do you guys get called Tom with great frequency?
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    Mar 01, 2015 8:39 PM GMT
    Sharkspeare said
    0ne_Half saidLately in my misadventures with dating i've come to notice a particular quirk of mine. I'll meet a guy, and more often than not they are handsome or funny or display any sort of desirable trait. They make an adequate first impression and in my head i'm like, "yeah, this guy has some potential." But then I discover they have the same first name as me, or someone close and i'm just like, "Nope. About face." Is this just me being my usual quirky self or is anyone else like this.

    Is this a serious question?
    It takes someone as young as you not to understand that you don't throw away good guys for dumb reasons. There aren't enough of the good ones out there.



    This.
  • Bunjamon

    Posts: 3161

    Mar 01, 2015 9:00 PM GMT
    I know several gay couples who have the same first name. One couple is referred to as "the Franks," because they're both named Frank.

    If your first impression is that the guy has potential, dropping him because his name is the same as yours is stupid. It's even more stupid to drop someone because his name is similar to that of "someone close." You'll realize all too quickly what a bad idea that is.
  • Hotgymguy22

    Posts: 98

    Mar 01, 2015 10:38 PM GMT
    I'm sorry, but this is pretty dumb. As hard as it can be to find someone you're going to stop talking to a guy with potential simply because of his name?
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    Mar 02, 2015 3:03 AM GMT
    Hotgymguy22 saidI'm sorry, but this is pretty dumb. As hard as it can be to find someone you're going to stop talking to a guy with potential simply because of his name?

    If your name was Archibald would you date a guy whose name was also Archibald?
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    Mar 02, 2015 7:00 PM GMT
    Lumpyoatmeal saidIf your name was Archibald would you date a guy whose name was also Archibald?


    Yes. He'd go by Archie, I'd go by...
  • ASHDOD

    Posts: 1057

    Mar 02, 2015 7:28 PM GMT
    Lumpyoatmeal said
    Hotgymguy22 saidI'm sorry, but this is pretty dumb. As hard as it can be to find someone you're going to stop talking to a guy with potential simply because of his name?

    If your name was Archibald would you date a guy whose name was also Archibald?


    with a name like archibald ,i think he was punished enough ,he must be hot sexy muscular nice and rich as a compensation from natureicon_smile.gif
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    Mar 03, 2015 3:07 AM GMT
    When this happens I just go by my nickname CK.
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    Mar 03, 2015 3:11 AM GMT
    Sharkspeare said
    0ne_Half saidLately in my misadventures with dating i've come to notice a particular quirk of mine. I'll meet a guy, and more often than not they are handsome or funny or display any sort of desirable trait. They make an adequate first impression and in my head i'm like, "yeah, this guy has some potential." But then I discover they have the same first name as me, or someone close and i'm just like, "Nope. About face." Is this just me being my usual quirky self or is anyone else like this.

    Is this a serious question?
    It takes someone as young as you not to understand that you don't throw away good guys for dumb reasons. There aren't enough of the good ones out there.

    +1
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    Mar 03, 2015 3:14 AM GMT
    0ne_Half said
    But then I discover they have the same first name as me, or someone close and i'm just like, "Nope. About face." Is this just me being my usual quirky self or is anyone else like this.

    Nope. I've know a number of gay couples who had the same name. I'll admit it was confusing, one was "Mark & Mark". Well, it was indeed tough to know who you were talking about, and you had to use other devices.

    But, yah know, they seemed to love each other well enough. Any problems with their names was MINE, not theirs.
  • GuardRal

    Posts: 5

    Mar 03, 2015 1:03 PM GMT
    Amazing. What are the odds that you'd meet someone else named dimw** ?
  • Antarktis

    Posts: 213

    Mar 03, 2015 2:50 PM GMT
    When I was still on the teet, I wouldn't date anyone younger than my siblings. The name thing will never be a problem.