Thanks for the advice, guys, I appreciate it. I've only ever had the acrimonious break-up; we don't talk and it was easier because I was angry at what he'd done, how he'd treated me.
I do consider myself lucky in that regard and in a way things ended rather poetically. For our first anniversary I'd made a little movie of photos and videos we'd taken together-- vacation in Spain, tooling around Berlin, just hanging out, the move from London to New York, lots of stuff -- and I'd set it to this song, 'Spacewalk' by Lemon Jelly. Well, last night was our last night; it was also, unfortunately, his birthday drinks (no, I didn't break up with him on his birthday; it's been happening in slow motion for about three or so weeks, it just came to a head).
We didn't talk much throughout the evening but as all of the guests left the bar, we sat down for a last drink and talked. And as we talked, I heard the album from which that first song was taken come on. And one last time, we toasted how great we'd been while Spacewalk played. We cried a bit and left as the song finished and went back to our flat for the last night.
Poetic, I guess. But I'll tell you, it was all I could do not to burst into tears on the subway today.
Again, thanks for the advice. I really appreciate it.