LEANDRO_NJ saidNo one fears falling in love! most people fear at getting hurt, misunderstood, betrayed,rejected, not desired, etcetera, but NOT at falling in love! just be glad you know and APPRECIATE what being in love feels like, and how it brings out the best in you, in contrast of the average person these days; who have either become cynical or jaded.
Maybe if you stop thinking about love in the first person as in "I like, I want, I need" someone may eventually fall in love with you!? no pun intended here, just making you aware that true love is caring about the needs of another as much as you should care about yours!
This. And What Ragazzo said.
In my lay person opinion, I think you're afraid of being rejected and the hurt and pain that comes along with rejection (in yourself, being embarrassed in front of friends and family, etc.).
Give love a shot. Keep your bottom line standards, but if you wait for Mr. Perfect, you will wind up 70 and having lived single your entire life. You MIGHT find the love of your life on the first or second try, but even if it takes a few tries, I can categorically say (as I'm sure you can relate since you said you HAVE been in love/dated seriously before) that you learn SO MUCH in each and every relationship, it's a revelation.
Don't be uppity, bitter and single.* Let yourself be vulnerable to an extent, and jump in the water. Don't watch from the stands, take a swing at bat. Who knows what'll happen?
*I'm not saying you are, or that you're coming across as 'uppity' and 'bitter', I'm simply saying that after a decade or so of being alone, and watching your friends' lives progress naturally, life will turn you bitter. I've had the unfortunate pleasure to meet a few of those types at the bar/club or through gay dinner parties, and it's beyond sad. They blame everyone and everything (the anti-LGBT laws, the dating pool, other guy's negative traits, the list goes on and on) except themselves, and the only way to live life in that dissonance is to become bitter (i.e., to see the world as 'less than you'), lest you realize you're the problem. You don't seem negative or sour at all now, the opposite, I just don't want to see you TURN bitter.