Can clinginess be attractive?

  • Inque

    Posts: 517

    Mar 06, 2015 1:56 AM GMT
    I've been having a really difficult time dating wise. I had a first date at a guys house that lasted 10 hours. i didn't get the sign to leave. the guy said i was too clingy. i can't help it. i feel like if i don't show them all of how much i want him he will lose interest. because thats how i treat guys if they dont go all out. and when i get rejected i cut him from my life because if you dont want to love me you get none of me .
  • Tig3r

    Posts: 139

    Mar 06, 2015 1:59 AM GMT
    10 Hours is way too long for a date, at that point that is a job! I would not say that that "clinginess" can be attractive because that is already a term that has a negative connotation.
  • Inque

    Posts: 517

    Mar 06, 2015 2:02 AM GMT
    Tig3r said10 Hours is way too long for a date, at that point that is a job! I would not say that that "clinginess" can be attractive because that is already a term that has a negative connotation.



    there are some people really lacking love in their lives who may like a clingy boyfriend
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    Mar 06, 2015 2:04 AM GMT
    The only thing that would make this story more pathetic is if the guy was quadriplegic....
  • Eli_jah

    Posts: 1391

    Mar 06, 2015 2:05 AM GMT
    I think many guys want to "rent", they don't really want to "invest" if you get what I mean. Even with boyfriends, I notice they'll be with a guy for 3 months and then on to the next one. There's never any real connection or commitment, or if there is, it's from one person.

    It's only called "clinginess" because only one person in most cases actually gives a rat's ass. But that's just my humble opinion.
  • Eli_jah

    Posts: 1391

    Mar 06, 2015 2:07 AM GMT
    Inque said
    Tig3r said10 Hours is way too long for a date, at that point that is a job! I would not say that that "clinginess" can be attractive because that is already a term that has a negative connotation.



    there are some people really lacking love in their lives who may like a clingy boyfriend


    exactly, not everyone is loved adequately or receives the same amount of decent human kindness or attention in our society. Some people may benefit from being in a co-dependent relationship.
  • BloodFlame

    Posts: 1768

    Mar 06, 2015 2:20 AM GMT
    Mulignan saidI think many guys want to "rent", they don't really want to "invest" if you get what I mean. Even with boyfriends, I notice they'll be with a guy for 3 months and then on to the next one. There's never any real connection or commitment, or if there is, it's from one person.

    It's only called "clinginess" because only one person in most cases actually gives a rat's ass. But that's just my humble opinion.


    You're kind of right.. It does feel that if one guy tries to give the guy lots of love, the partner feels he is "clingy" and will distance himself. It's sad because not all guys mean to be clingy, they just want to show they care.

    10 hours is a little long, I won't lie there but don't worry OP, I'm sure you'll find a guy who won't mind getting your love and hopefully returning it.
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    Mar 06, 2015 3:20 AM GMT
    Inque said... first date at a guys house that lasted 10 hours...
    the OP needs to get some outside interests going on his own.
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    Mar 06, 2015 3:24 AM GMT
    Inque saidI've been having a really difficult time dating wise. I had a first date at a guys house that lasted 10 hours. i didn't get the sign to leave. the guy said i was too clingy. i can't help it. i feel like if i don't show them all of how much i want him he will lose interest. because thats how i treat guys if they dont go all out. and when i get rejected i cut him from my life because if you dont want to love me you get none of me .


    Hey, at least your getting dates in the first place. That's half the battle icon_smile.gif
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    Mar 06, 2015 4:47 AM GMT
    It can be attractive depending on how far you take it... Saying goodnight every night is cute... 10 missed texts or calls while I'm taking a crap is not.

    My point is EVERYONE needs space sometimes. Think about your best friend -- if you were with them non-stop for a 10 day vacation -- you'd eventually want to be home or have a few hours to yourself.

  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    Mar 06, 2015 5:26 AM GMT
    You're looking for the wrong guy ... you need to find some one that is desperate for a bf ... they love clingy
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    Mar 06, 2015 5:56 AM GMT
    Unless it's spandex, no.
  • bobbobbob

    Posts: 2812

    Mar 06, 2015 6:08 AM GMT
    ....... or styrofoam peanuts on cats.

    10 hours? You're fortunate to be alive.
  • Eli_jah

    Posts: 1391

    Mar 06, 2015 6:18 AM GMT
    Are you counting sleeping over in the 10 hours? or you guys spent 10 waking hours together? Consecutive or cumulative? We need deets.

    Most married couples barely spend that many waking hours together, so just curious.
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    Mar 06, 2015 6:48 AM GMT
    10 hours for a first date is a little long brah...

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    Mar 06, 2015 6:52 AM GMT
    unless you were having 9.5 hours of hard sex… it was too long..icon_rolleyes.gif
  • NeuralShock

    Posts: 411

    Mar 06, 2015 7:08 AM GMT
    Only if they're hot.
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    Mar 06, 2015 8:40 AM GMT
    If you had a really good connection with him, why not could be atractive? :O

    bobbobbob said....... or styrofoam peanuts on cats.

    10 hours? You're fortunate to be alive.


    Good point of view jajajaj.
  • Inque

    Posts: 517

    Mar 06, 2015 4:12 PM GMT
    Mulignan saidAre you counting sleeping over in the 10 hours? or you guys spent 10 waking hours together? Consecutive or cumulative? We need deets.

    Most married couples barely spend that many waking hours together, so just curious.


    No I went over there around 3:30 and didn't leave until almost midnight.
  • Inque

    Posts: 517

    Mar 06, 2015 4:16 PM GMT
    MuchMoreThanMuscle saidWe're talking about a first date, correct?

    Let's see, clingy on a first date....

    VERY bad idea.

    You don't know anything about a person on a first date. You should be more socially interactive to see if you have things in common first.

    My guess is this was a hookup where you slept with this person and then were all over this guy's shit like white on rice.

    But in any event, clingy is unattractive.

    Expressing affection for a loved one is completely different. If you don't know the difference between the two you should take some time to learn.


    Well it wasn't supposed to be a hookup and we never actually ended up having sex. It was an actual date. We were supposed to hang out at the mall but I got bored and we went to his place. I felt like he was my soulmate and I just never wanted to leave. I already started planning my life around him.
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    Mar 06, 2015 10:34 PM GMT
    First date and you're already planning things like that already? You are scaring/suffocating the guy. *pats* Take it slow babe, if he's yours he's yours, no need to plan this and that on the very first date; that is not how a well-structured relationship works. Plus a 10 hour date, specially on the very first date is too much, 3 hours is enough.

    Don't rush things, don't bind or suffocate him. Best of luck to ya.
  • Inque

    Posts: 517

    Mar 10, 2015 9:36 PM GMT
    HelloPeople saidFirst date and you're already planning things like that already? You are scaring/suffocating the guy. *pats* Take it slow babe, if he's yours he's yours, no need to plan this and that on the very first date; that is not how a well-structured relationship works. Plus a 10 hour date, specially on the very first date is too much, 3 hours is enough.

    Don't rush things, don't bind or suffocate him. Best of luck to ya.


    So I've been talking to this guy off and on for a while and for the past week now we've been pretty on. He and I have been getting really close. He's been saying I've all over him so I've been trying to pull back by being mean to him. Is this the right way of going about it?
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    Mar 10, 2015 10:07 PM GMT
    Inque said
    HelloPeople saidFirst date and you're already planning things like that already? You are scaring/suffocating the guy. *pats* Take it slow babe, if he's yours he's yours, no need to plan this and that on the very first date; that is not how a well-structured relationship works. Plus a 10 hour date, specially on the very first date is too much, 3 hours is enough.

    Don't rush things, don't bind or suffocate him. Best of luck to ya.


    So I've been talking to this guy off and on for a while and for the past week now we've been pretty on. He and I have been getting really close. He's been saying I've all over him so I've been trying to pull back by being mean to him. Is this the right way of going about it?
    Pulling back for a bit is a right thing to do, but being mean purposely is not right tho. Don't play games; that is never right to begin with.

    If there's anything you should be playing with, it should be your own dick. Ahem. With the dirty joke aside, I should get back to the topic. IMO, dating/getting in a relationship doesn't mean 2 people sticking together like they were glued or sewn that they need to stay together every hour every minute every second literally; while your significant other is important, one can't just simply ignore each others' own personal space and personal growth -- you need to explore the world, you need to learn a lot of things, you need to broaden your horizons too and of course so does him.

    Clinginess doesn't mean anything or makes you the best lover; but those few moments of separating (not in a broke up way) while still being able to love and retain your feelings for that person, that's one of the stuff what helps a genuine love-relationship strong.
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    Mar 11, 2015 2:37 AM GMT
    Inque said
    HelloPeople saidFirst date and you're already planning things like that already? You are scaring/suffocating the guy. *pats* Take it slow babe, if he's yours he's yours, no need to plan this and that on the very first date; that is not how a well-structured relationship works. Plus a 10 hour date, specially on the very first date is too much, 3 hours is enough.

    Don't rush things, don't bind or suffocate him. Best of luck to ya.


    So I've been talking to this guy off and on for a while and for the past week now we've been pretty on. He and I have been getting really close. He's been saying I've all over him so I've been trying to pull back by being mean to him. Is this the right way of going about it?


    You truly are an idiot.
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    Mar 11, 2015 4:39 AM GMT
    Inque said I already started planning my life around him...


    Inque saidHe's been saying I've all over him so I've been trying to pull back by being mean to him. Is this the right way of going about it?


    And here I was thinking it's been a while since the last time Inque wanted to remind the world how desperate and low his standards are... but clearly he's gotta be trolling.