Why am I not getting dates/relationships

  • NeuralShock

    Posts: 411

    Mar 06, 2015 9:43 PM GMT
    Seriously I am wondering why I am not. It is incredibly disturbing at this point.

    Like I try a whole host of dating websites and apps and I am always nice and kind to everyone yet I somehow manage to not get a date.

    It honestly is making me resentful at this point. I see my friends bounce from one relationship to a new one where I am informed of how they are cuddling and are happy and other shit and I just sit there feeling like human garbage.

    Like it is getting to the point where I want to shove all my happy friends away because hearing how happy they are and how they're moving on with their lives and I am not is so incredibly painful I can't listen to their happiness anymore without crying. I am better off shoving them away.

    I am giving it my all but it doesn't seem to be enough.

    I officially have no clue what to do.
  • Kovyn

    Posts: 117

    Mar 06, 2015 11:04 PM GMT
    Try changing yourself somehow.
  • NeuralShock

    Posts: 411

    Mar 06, 2015 11:08 PM GMT
    Kovyn saidTry changing yourself somehow.


    But, err, how?

    I already workout, cute, funny, intelligent, ambitious and kicking ass and getting goals.
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    Mar 06, 2015 11:12 PM GMT
    NeuralShock saidSeriously I am wondering why I am not. It is incredibly disturbing at this point.

    Like I try a whole host of dating websites and apps and I am always nice and kind to everyone yet I somehow manage to not get a date.

    It honestly is making me resentful at this point. I see my friends bounce from one relationship to a new one where I am informed of how they are cuddling and are happy and other shit and I just sit there feeling like human garbage.

    Like it is getting to the point where I want to shove all my happy friends away because hearing how happy they are and how they're moving on with their lives and I am not is so incredibly painful I can't listen to their happiness anymore without crying. I am better off shoving them away.

    I am giving it my all but it doesn't seem to be enough.

    I officially have no clue what to do.


    -

    Change things up. Websites and apps are just one possible way to meet guys. Get involved in a gay group in your community. Go to a gay bar. Ask your friends if they know anyone.
  • Kovyn

    Posts: 117

    Mar 06, 2015 11:13 PM GMT
    NeuralShock said
    Kovyn saidTry changing yourself somehow.


    But, err, how?

    I already workout, cute, funny, intelligent, ambitious and kicking ass and getting goals.


    Depends what kind of person you want to attract. But in most cases, try being more confident and alpha male, guys love that.
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    Mar 07, 2015 2:55 AM GMT
    NeuralShock said
    Kovyn saidTry changing yourself somehow.


    But, err, how?

    I already workout, cute, funny, intelligent, ambitious and kicking ass and getting goals.


    You're chubby, homely, humorless, unremarkable, and just in general a huge whiner. That's why you are single. And I mean this as serious as I can.
  • PRDGUY

    Posts: 641

    Mar 07, 2015 2:59 AM GMT
    Ask your coupling friends to set you up on a date....
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    Mar 07, 2015 3:17 AM GMT
    At least you have friends. Don't push them away.
  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    Mar 07, 2015 3:47 AM GMT
    Gay men are just like straight men ... neither of they are looking to date ... they are just looking to hook up ... don't believe me ... go to the bar of either ... they are ALL just trying to pick up some one for the night. You don't date until you hook up ... nobody buys the goods without trying them first icon_twisted.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 07, 2015 4:41 AM GMT
    if your rj profile is a cut/past of your online dating profile you might cut back on the random ramblings from yourself. Loose the "I am a person who has a great many interests...
    -dont know where you live but it sounds like winter. Better dating times in the spring.
    -join up on to some gay men's organization or sport.
  • Breeman

    Posts: 339

    Mar 07, 2015 7:17 PM GMT
    Take the Zen approach and don't do anything. I mean stop trying to find someone. Focus on yourself - your interests and goals.
    People aren't generally interested in someone that's desperate to get into a relationship.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 07, 2015 7:32 PM GMT
    http://www.cracked.com/blog/6-harsh-truths-that-will-make-you-better-person/

    Please read the entire article. It dug me out of a rut.
  • Svnw688

    Posts: 3350

    Mar 07, 2015 8:28 PM GMT
    AMoonHawk saidGay men are just like straight men ... neither of they are looking to date ... they are just looking to hook up ... don't believe me ... go to the bar of either ... they are ALL just trying to pick up some one for the night. You don't date until you hook up ... nobody buys the goods without trying them first icon_twisted.gif


    Yes
  • Svnw688

    Posts: 3350

    Mar 07, 2015 8:28 PM GMT
    Breeman saidTake the Zen approach and don't do anything. I mean stop trying to find someone. Focus on yourself - your interests and goals.
    People aren't generally interested in someone that's desperate to get into a relationship.


    Yes
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 07, 2015 9:39 PM GMT
    For starters, shave that patchy facial hair and get a good quality haircut. Guys are visual creatures. Other than that you're not a bad looking guy.
  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    Mar 07, 2015 10:59 PM GMT
    UndercoverMan saidFor starters, shave that patchy facial hair and get a good quality haircut. Guys are visual creatures. Other than that you're not a bad looking guy.


    I'm going to have to agree. Keep the mustache and goatee, but get rid of the rest and I think for your facial structure you need to let your hair grow about a bit ... something like this

    long-hair-style.jpg
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 07, 2015 11:56 PM GMT
    There's a lot of theories about this. If you only try dating/online apps, it's tend to be a bit difficult. Sometimes, guys on those sites are either Flaky, have no time or just cruising. If you try the bars, most dudes are just there for sex. It's hard to find a compatible gay men. Lol, having said all that, about 3-4 of the guys I've been serious with were either on online dating/apps/internet/bars. Lol, Someone mentioned the gay center/organization, I find it very lonely older guys who go there. Anyway, I'm sort of upset and sad too because I do want to find a great man. But you know, don't force it, you'll look desperate.
  • 5100s

    Posts: 188

    Mar 08, 2015 1:00 AM GMT
    Stop trying to do anything and just let things happen.

    It's been my experience that things are more likely to happen if you don't try to force them, and if nothing happens you won't be any worse off than you are now and you won't have expended all that energy fruitlessly.

  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    Mar 08, 2015 2:45 AM GMT
    pazzy said
    AMoonHawk saidGay men are just like straight men ... neither of they are looking to date ... they are just looking to hook up ... don't believe me ... go to the bar of either ... they are ALL just trying to pick up some one for the night. You don't date until you hook up ... nobody buys the goods without trying them first icon_twisted.gif


    so basically you have fuck someone on some hookup shit to actually get them to know you As a person where they want to date you? don't you think that's a bit risky or someone asking to get played. Haven't there been more guys in here that have came in here saying how they hooked up with someone and wanted to date them then they never called back or up and left them?

    The virgin wedding night marriage doesn't work for everyone, especially men. While men have historically always desired to marry a virgin, they themselves do not necessarily want to be a virgin. Throughout history men have always been sexually aggressive. It is just in their nature. Survival of the species and of the fittest. As for getting played, every body's playing everybody with the hopes of finding the one that attracts them. Life is complicated. You can't tie everything up in neat little bows. Everything is a risk. Even virgins risk rejection after the deed has finally been done. So which is better? Being a virgin and finding the one or being sexually active and finding the one? Either is risky and there is no guaranteed outcome.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 08, 2015 3:37 AM GMT
    If you find not getting dates "incredibly disturbing" then you've pretty much answered your own question. If you act like being single is a terminal disease then you'll most likely stay that way.
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    Mar 08, 2015 5:15 AM GMT
    NeuralShock saidSeriously I am wondering why I am not. It is incredibly disturbing at this point.

    Like I try a whole host of dating websites and apps and I am always nice and kind to everyone yet I somehow manage to not get a date.

    It honestly is making me resentful at this point. I see my friends bounce from one relationship to a new one where I am informed of how they are cuddling and are happy and other shit and I just sit there feeling like human garbage.

    Like it is getting to the point where I want to shove all my happy friends away because hearing how happy they are and how they're moving on with their lives and I am not is so incredibly painful I can't listen to their happiness anymore without crying. I am better off shoving them away.

    I am giving it my all but it doesn't seem to be enough.

    I officially have no clue what to do.


    I used to really wonder this. It kinda drove me crazy at one point. I think a lot of the dating websites and apps are so sexually driven that guys only look when their dicks are hard, and the last thing they are thinking about is long term relationships.

    People bouncing from relationship to relationships aren't doing well either, they are basically just "relationships".

    The Guy-Guy dynamic is just way different than the Guy-Girl dynamic, and I think the key is to either find a guy online that you form enough sexual chemistry with that you guys are both willing to hook up very often for a good amount of time until you know each other, ORRRR meet a guy offline through real life somehow, where you can judge more naturally if there is friendship, chemistry, and mutual interest before getting in each others pants.

    It would be nice if guys courted and dated, but i think that is truly the minority.

    You also have to look at yourself. The individual is half of the failed relationship. I personally took a long look at why I'm single before deciding that I'm probably meant to be on my own, function best on my own, and have my own journey to travel without another's approval or dependence.

    With you personally, I have seen there is a high degree of selection about who you are willing to date (you are already closing the window in a limited choice), as well as a lot of sense of self doubt and insecurity that most guys can probably smell a mile away.

    No offense intended.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 08, 2015 6:37 AM GMT
    You get what you give.

    Everything starts with you.
  • Buddha

    Posts: 1767

    Mar 08, 2015 6:49 AM GMT
    I like the facial hair, and honestly, just keep any part of your appearance that you like. I've noticed that the older generation usually prefers the clean-shave look.

    Frankly, when I look to meet people, I'm not really that interested in people who are nice. I'm more interested in people who can either talk about something in my field of interest, or people who stick out in some way.
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    Mar 08, 2015 12:42 PM GMT
    wingate saidIf you find not getting dates "incredibly disturbing" then you've pretty much answered your own question. If you act like being single is a terminal disease then you'll most likely stay that way.


    Best reply award goes to wingate.
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    Mar 08, 2015 1:03 PM GMT
    jmusmc85 said
    NeuralShock said
    Kovyn saidTry changing yourself somehow.


    But, err, how?

    I already workout, cute, funny, intelligent, ambitious and kicking ass and getting goals.


    You're chubby, homely, humorless, unremarkable, and just in general a huge whiner. That's why you are single. And I mean this as serious as I can.


    For the love of the Gods, just keep your pathetic and evil thoughts in your creepy mind...

    By the way, is your not respectable person single?

    It would be very disgusting if somebody like you had a partner who support him and does not deserve.