Question On Suicide

  • ChicagoSteve

    Posts: 1272

    Mar 07, 2015 1:07 PM GMT
    I learned yesterday that an acquaintance of mine, someone who I had worked with several years ago, took his own life on Thursday night. I had not seen or spoken with him in several years, but we did keep in touch on Facebook. I remember him as always being very upbeat and cracking jokes, he was really fun to work with. He was in his mid 40s. About a year ago on Facebook he posted something to the effect of wanting to know where his previously great life had disappeared to. It got me to thinking, so I wanted to throw this question out there.Do you think you could ever get to a point where you felt so low, that taking your own life was the only option?
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    Mar 07, 2015 1:26 PM GMT
    ChicagoSteve saidDo you think you could ever get to a point where you felt so low, that taking your own life was the only option?

    The thing about suicide is that it's very unpredictable. Many people who would seem very happy from outside can be the most depressed one. I have experienced it myself where a friend of mine who didn't show a hint of depression from outside, was academically strong, and completing a Phd from a good university in USA, committed suicide. It was such a shock for many of my friends. We are never going to know the exact reason as his family didn't give anyone any explanation either.

    It's hard to say if I would go so low in my life that I would commit suicide. But there were certain low points in my life earlier where such thoughts just breezed through my mind. I think those experiences have made me stronger in pulling myself out of depressing situations.
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    Mar 07, 2015 1:36 PM GMT
    I'm very sorry to hear about your friend. A few years ago one of my friends committed suicide. She was bipolar and went off of her medication suddenly which is, of course, a very bad idea. It's such a loss to the world. She was kind, creative, and smart. If anyone out there is going through a tough time, seek out people who can help and support you.
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    Mar 07, 2015 4:32 PM GMT
    It's hard to say whether we'll ever get so low in life to the point of resorting to suicide. We won't know what we are capable of until we get to that point.

    I think the key prevention is support. Having friends and family who can listen and help carry your burden will definitely help. I hope we all have that support.
  • NeuralShock

    Posts: 411

    Mar 07, 2015 4:49 PM GMT
    I am going to note strongly here I am not suicidal at all nor will I hurt myself. Death is not an option I will ever take, I will never consider it.


    But currently I AM that low. I feel like everything in my life is crumbling and that I am undesirable for some reason and I am stuck and TRAPPED in a life I didn't ask for.

    I spend everyday fighting with everything I have got. I work out 6x a week and eat my ass off and for me eating is very hard... I study my ass off in hopes I can successfully change career paths from medicine into artificial intelligence and am stuck terrified I will get blocked from doing so.

    Yet this December I was raped and he said he took the only good thing from me and threw away the rest like a used can of pop. This was probably the firstlegitimate time I thought I would be in a relationship. He squatted over my dignity and self pride and took a huge shit all over it.

    Fast forward a few months to now and the stress is still there. I am still single and uunwanteddespite me trying my best and you know what? Its become painful.

    Like my entire life is just one spinning ball of "keep trying!" And then watching it get shot down in flames. I seriously have seen so many of my friends get into happy relationships and then there is just me... Trying my best and trying 900x harder than them and I get nothing.

    Literally last night a friend of mine was telling me all about their dating plans with a partner and sent so many happy details I felt like crying. THEN I FOUND OUT IT WAS A GUY I LIKED A LOT. Then I was so upset I just sat in bed crying- he got to be with a guy I have wanted to be with for months. I failed.

    Its painful. It sucks. It is horrific.

    It seriously makes me wonder if I will ever leave this spiral. Constantly try to improve, strive for more, try and become my best self ONLY TO GET KICKED DOWN and then told I am not good enough for whatever reason.

    I know this will come with a baggaeload of flames and hate at me but it is the truth. I still to this day cannot say I have ever been in a relationship, and I am a virgin still.

    My life actually authentically is a hellhole. I have asked myself some biblical questions like "is this hell?" Before. Because it is pure sorrow and loneliness and constant trying and failing. It hurts.


    SAYING IT AGAIN: I am not suicidal and I will never hurt myself. These however just are my feelings said openly. I will never self harm.
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    Mar 07, 2015 5:07 PM GMT
    Hi Guys

    This topic is a sad one and I am particularly moved by the post from the guy above. When one is feeling sad, one is looking though sunglasses despite there not being much sun. The colours we see appear muted and other senses are numbed too. For some, it is a situational thing; stuff changes, our life improve and we feel better. Gay men have higher rates of anxiety and sadness, perhaps due to the stuff we experience as we grow up. There are also elements of the gay culture that make things worse. For example, men are extremely visual and very attracted to the physical. It's who we are as men and something important to acknowledge. But it can makes it difficult to find that life-long mate. Not impossible though.

    Sadness can also be due to an in-balance in the brain's chemicals, the neurotransmitters like serotonin for one. In this scenario, medication is very useful. It takes time to build up the low chemical levels and more than one medication may be required at a time. Modern anti-depressants are not addictive and one is not defective for taking them. Make sure your Vitamin D levels are optimum too. There is evidence that a vitamin D deficiency can worsen existing sadness.
  • Svnw688

    Posts: 3350

    Mar 07, 2015 5:46 PM GMT
    My condolences to your friend.

    Personally, I don't think my inner nature would ever consider suicide, even in a mercy kill situation (e.g., if I were pinned under a collapsed wall in a rural area, knew help was unlikely to come, and there were a loaded gun I could reach). My personality, for better or worse, is one of constantly fighting and pushing, so I can't see doing that. Then again, I suppose I can never REALLY know unless I were in that position. And despite having provocation to feel so, I've never felt depressed or even sad for very long (e.g., my saddest days were the death of my grandmother, and then father, but things like surviving armed robbery and felony home invasion, and a hate crime beating barely phased me). My brain is simply naturally programmed to be happy.


    Suicide is rarely a short affair, and usually involves DEEP and enduring depression for a long time (even if it's cyclical like manic-depression). It's horrible a person feels this pain for so long, but thankfully that USUALLY lends itself to a person giving signals of their depression. I know explicitly talking about suicide is one of the biggest clues a person may be suicidal. Sadly, I've had a couple friends (both in college) talk about suicide to me, and I encouraged them to get help. One did, the other didn't. Both wound up attempting suicide. Thankfully, both failed.

    This isn't your fault. You, at that stage in life, weren't close enough to him to have picked up on those small and subtle signals. A one-off FB post is hardly grounds for an 'intervention', if it were we should have intervened on no less than 100 RJ members. Even IF you were close, it would only, to an extent to your fault, if you willfully failed to get help after you REALIZED the clues he/she were giving. Very few people, only evil people, would ever fall in to that category. From what I've heard/read, even mothers and fathers are 'shocked' by the event and only in HINDSIGHT can piece the clues together.

    Perhaps this is a call for all of us to (1) let people know if we need help and (2) be on the lookout for those who are 'calling out'.

    Depression is largely a physical problem. It is not a personality disorder, and depression should not be sitgmatized. It's a chemical imbalance and a person suffering is not to be blamed.
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    Mar 07, 2015 6:30 PM GMT
    This one time, I tried to get into this club but tickets were sold out. But then A-HAA!!! I noticed the bouncer was a guy I had fucked before. So I went up to him and flirted with him for a little while in hopes of getting in for free. But to my horror, he said NO!!! I was shocked. How could he? I even let him do me on the kitchen table which was very uncomfortable. I felt betrayed. I felt alone. I wanted TO END IT ALL.


    But my friends took my to another bar and after a few shots I forgot all about it. But next time I saw him at the gym I ignored him. HE IS DEAD TO ME.


    I assume this is what suicide feels like.
  • Eli_jah

    Posts: 1391

    Mar 07, 2015 6:30 PM GMT
    pazzy saidGonna be 100 percent honest. I've been depressed since a preteen and going through certain issues feeling hopeless or thinking that things won't get better or I'll be trapped in it forever. Yeah, I've thought about it but then for some weird reason, there is something within me that just makes me go like "hell no" where Im able to keep going in life. It's like I would rather suffer or gamble on things getting better than to quit or give up. weird enough, looking back 10 years ago, i was feeling just as shitty as i do so cant say that things have changed or improved since 2005 emotionally and the years before that. Hell even though some things have changed for the better, my feelings and thoughts for the most part haven't changed. it's a twisted logic.

    I've tried to go to shrinks, therapists, do journal writing, try to self medicate or do some experimenting. Hell I've even placed my hope on thinking that if a certain issue or problem went away or fixed itself in life, I would feel better. Like if I got a job, paid off whatever, acknowledged that I was gay, started exercising and whatever, that I would feel better or that horrible feelings, anger, anxiousness, paranoia, depression, and whooping woo would disappear but it didn't. Before hand where I would start doing whatever I was going to do to fix whatever, it s like "this is it. I'm going to no longer be depressed or anxiety ridden". It would turn out to be a disappointment where I felt the same.

    So it made me feel like..... it's hard to explain.... not give a fuck though not completely. There's some things that I value such as my freedom. Hell like it's made me a bit tougher but it also made me more colder and meaner towards people where I have a fuck you attitude and am real defensive and hypersensitive towards criticism. It also has made me not want to interact with other people either where I'm not big on socializing. I rather would be alone than to be around people or whatever. hell, regardless, I damn sure wouldn't kill myself and am too stubborn to quit life Even if I'm miserable as fuck. Another reason why I wouldn't kill myself is that now this is going even more personal is that there's some people in the past an the present who basically for some sick reason or another would love to see me dead or kill myself. I think of some of the people in my past where they would basically be on some "I hate you and Want you to basically kill yourself or want you to die". When I see those people on my head, I'm like I refuse to give those fuckers the satisfaction of seeing me down and out. I don't want to prove those fuckers right and would rather have them mad or annoyed knowing that I'm still living and standing. so it's like Im liable to do something to someone who's trying to make my life miserable or wants to make me feel a lot worse than I am. However, I have a conscience and care about my freedom where some of the things that I've thought about doing to whoever I talked myself out of it or was like "naw, that's crazy". Shit, I admire someone like Eminem and 50 cent who got back at th hr people who did them wrong without physically hurting them. I rather get someone back without hurting them physically or with things like words or other means.


    Black folk commit suicide at much lower rates than Caucasians - 50% less. We score higher on both individualism and collectivism, apparently. Asian and Latino-Americans are also much lower, but Native Americans suicide rates have increased.

    Maybe it's because we experience hardships pretty much every single day so we cope better with extreme disappointments. The article says a strong ties to religion for blacks and family for Asians accounts for the lower suicide rates.

    http://students.com.miami.edu/netreporting/?page_id=1285
  • bobbobbob

    Posts: 2812

    Mar 07, 2015 6:46 PM GMT
    ChicagoSteve saidI learned yesterday that an acquaintance of mine, someone who I had worked with several years ago, took his own life on Thursday night. I had not seen or spoken with him in several years, but we did keep in touch on Facebook. I remember him as always being very upbeat and cracking jokes, he was really fun to work with. He was in his mid 40s. About a year ago on Facebook he posted something to the effect of wanting to know where his previously great life had disappeared to. It got me to thinking, so I wanted to throw this question out there.Do you think you could ever get to a point where you felt so low, that taking your own life was the only option?


    I checked ages on profiles for all who've responded so far and saw what I expected to find. There's a direct correlation between ages and the tone of the comments.

    I'm 66 and have survived three of my spouses, a wife and two men. I don't like calling them husbands. Usually I call them mates. This year is only 66 days long so far and I've already been to funerals of four friends I've known between 24 and 9 years. The last time I checked over a third of my fraternity brothers have passed on. During the worst years AIDS era from 1984 to 1995 my partner and I usually attended the funeral of at least one friend a month. I've lost two younger brothers to cancer. My mother is 89 and still amazingly active.

    Depressing? Far from it. Would I take my own life? Never, not even to escape a slow painful death like the ones I witnessed with my brothers or many other friends. How do I feel for people who do take their lives? Very sad. I feel I might have been able to help them or at least I would given it a valiant effort. I'm not at all religious but regularly attend church for reasons that have nothing to do with me. I do it for others.

    The deepest and darkest two days of my life were in April 1995 when the man who still owns my heart was killed in a auto accident. I remember thinking about suicide then. His son and mine were both twenty five at the time and they were raised almost as brothers and call themselves that today. Both were married and there was a nine month old grand daughter. The fact that they were there needing me to comfort them gave me strength to do anything.

    But more than that was something my partner said to me once when I was recovering from being very ill recovering from nearly dying. I told that when I was as close to being alive as dead all I could think about and hope for was that he'd be alright if I had died.

    He laughed, "I wouldn't have much time for that. I'd be too busy celebrating for having had nineteen years with you. That's nineteen more than I ever thought I'd have with anyone."

    It was remembering those words that gave me strength. Rather than mourn, I shook it off and celebrated the 23 years I had with him, 23 more years than I imagined possible with anyone. I've not cried or felt sad about his death one day since. One thing I felt he gave me that I never needed until he was gone was his optimism and never ending positive outlook on everything. Now when I speak of him it is always with laughter.

    I've learned much about life by getting old. That's why I intend to get very old. I want to learn as much as I can about life and pass it on as far and wide as I can. That's why suicide is not an option for me. If i"m in unimaginable pain and someone asks me a question about anything that will help them in their life I want to be able to answer it. My version of a living will clearly demands I be kept alive and sentient by any means possible... not for me but for whoever needs me to be there and help them in any way I can.

    I strongly feel a great deal a great deal of the depression and suicide associated with gays will drop dramatically once gays fully gain equality in all respects but only because it will enable them to become parents on larger scales. Children transform relationships into something that cannot be understood by anyone who has none. Children change everything out of the context of "you and me" and put it in the context of "us, all of us." Decisions aren't made by parents on the basis of what's best for "you of me." Decisions are made based on what's best for "all of us and you and I come last."

    Children bring parents a reason to stop thinking "you and me first" about the "them first, US second." Once couples hit the "US" mentality in a relationship things go to a level that's indescribable.

    But back to suicide and thoughts of it. I've known too many people who've done that all the way back to age 16 in high school. In my experience I've noticed common denominators. It's been fifty years and I mourn him more than either of the men I formed loving partnerships with.

    People who feel they have no control over their lives or aren't happy with their lives are prone to consider suicide. They get bogged down and don't see a way out except through death. They get into thinking in vicious circles about their own feelings of unhappiness or lack of control until they are magnified into mountains.

    Narcissistic men are candidates for suicide and rarely reach out for help or rarely express suicidal thoughts out of their own narcissism. They're the ones who go home from work, have a drink maybe write a brief bitter note and blow their brains out.

    And then there's the ones like my friend from high school. In spite of his being 6'4" and a star on the football team he was a victim of the homophobia of fundamentalist christians that still exists to this day. For him the past 50 years I continue to I discriminate against, harass and belittle fundamentalists at every opportunity. I've gone to the funerals of their own gay children who've killed themselves in order to show my ass.

    One of the top reasons I joined RJ is this very subject. If I can only help one person every ten years from taking their life it'll be worth every minute to them and myself.

    With that said, is it okay for me to go back to being an argumentative asshole on some other threads? LOL.



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    Mar 07, 2015 7:16 PM GMT
    I would only commit suicide if I was terminally ill and facing a prolonged and agonizing death. For me, the world is too interesting a place to want to leave it voluntarily.

    I have suffered with mild/moderate forms of depression over the years but I never took the idea of suicide seriously. Sadly, of course there are people who do. Most of them suffer from severe depression. They have tried therapy and medication but nothing seems to work. To them I say there is an answer for you: electroshock therapy. It has been shown to be effective even with severe cases when the patient didn't respond to medication and/or therapy. So to anyone suffering who thinks there isn't an answer, take heart and know there is. Electroshock therapy usually takes between 6-8 sessions to be effective. And there are no side effects! :-)
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    Mar 07, 2015 7:49 PM GMT
    It's not that one is so low that there's no other option, but for the person who commits suicide it's a combination of stuff.

    You don't see any light on the tunnel: your family and friends don't seem to care for you and/or you are being bullied in school, plus you could be through a hormonal stage where your body and mind are not functioning properly (there are hormonal highs and lows amongst men too).

    Most of them have had the idea of suicide for a long time in their minds, say, days, weeks or months, so they would wait to find a moment to do it or wait for a reason not to do it to come, but there are a lot of suicides committed on a rush, like when you have a bad day and you say FUCK IT so you do it.

    I know this because when I was in high school I thought about killing myself some days when I was being bullied and none of my friends seemed to care. The thing is I was't asking them for help or support either, and I was so ashamed to tell them, or my parents, that some kids in school were getting to me that I kept swallowing it all on my own. There you have it. That's one of the most important reasons why people take their own lives. They keep it all to themselves, they don't seek help or they are too ashamed.

    These instances use to catch us by surprise whenever someone who seemed happy and cheerful decides to kill himself. Very rarely we hear about a friend who is thinking about committing suicide but instead we hear the stories about people who did not fall into the hole, such as mine and other people posting here, or we hear about the bad news when they already happened.

    It's important for us human beings to talk to each other, to give help when someone has the courage it takes to ask us, and specially to ask for it on the first place when we need it.

    I'm very sorry about your friend. I hope these kind of things shocked us enough as a society to try to put a stop to it.

    Note 1: I'm not at all thinking about suicide, that was years ago. Now I became a stronger person thanks to my struggle, so don't worry.
    Note 2: Sorry for my english if it feels a little broken.
  • FRE0

    Posts: 4862

    Mar 07, 2015 8:56 PM GMT
    NeuralShock saidI am going to note strongly here I am not suicidal at all nor will I hurt myself. Death is not an option I will ever take, I will never consider it.


    But currently I AM that low. I feel like everything in my life is crumbling and that I am undesirable for some reason and I am stuck and TRAPPED in a life I didn't ask for.

    I spend everyday fighting with everything I have got. I work out 6x a week and eat my ass off and for me eating is very hard... I study my ass off in hopes I can successfully change career paths from medicine into artificial intelligence and am stuck terrified I will get blocked from doing so.

    Yet this December I was raped and he said he took the only good thing from me and threw away the rest like a used can of pop. This was probably the firstlegitimate time I thought I would be in a relationship. He squatted over my dignity and self pride and took a huge shit all over it.

    Fast forward a few months to now and the stress is still there. I am still single and uunwanteddespite me trying my best and you know what? Its become painful.

    Like my entire life is just one spinning ball of "keep trying!" And then watching it get shot down in flames. I seriously have seen so many of my friends get into happy relationships and then there is just me... Trying my best and trying 900x harder than them and I get nothing.

    Literally last night a friend of mine was telling me all about their dating plans with a partner and sent so many happy details I felt like crying. THEN I FOUND OUT IT WAS A GUY I LIKED A LOT. Then I was so upset I just sat in bed crying- he got to be with a guy I have wanted to be with for months. I failed.

    Its painful. It sucks. It is horrific.

    It seriously makes me wonder if I will ever leave this spiral. Constantly try to improve, strive for more, try and become my best self ONLY TO GET KICKED DOWN and then told I am not good enough for whatever reason.

    I know this will come with a baggaeload of flames and hate at me but it is the truth. I still to this day cannot say I have ever been in a relationship, and I am a virgin still.

    My life actually authentically is a hellhole. I have asked myself some biblical questions like "is this hell?" Before. Because it is pure sorrow and loneliness and constant trying and failing. It hurts.


    SAYING IT AGAIN: I am not suicidal and I will never hurt myself. These however just are my feelings said openly. I will never self harm.


    It may be that appropriate counseling would make you feel better. It's a quality of life issue.
  • Svnw688

    Posts: 3350

    Mar 07, 2015 9:00 PM GMT
    jmusmc85 saidThis one time, I tried to get into this club but tickets were sold out. But then A-HAA!!! I noticed the bouncer was a guy I had fucked before. So I went up to him and flirted with him for a little while in hopes of getting in for free. But to my horror, he said NO!!! I was shocked. How could he? I even let him do me on the kitchen table which was very uncomfortable. I felt betrayed. I felt alone. I wanted TO END IT ALL.


    But my friends took my to another bar and after a few shots I forgot all about it. But next time I saw him at the gym I ignored him. HE IS DEAD TO ME.


    I assume this is what suicide feels like.


    LMAO, I'm gonna start to call you Blanche Devereaux if you keep these shenanigans up icon_cool.gif

  • FRE0

    Posts: 4862

    Mar 07, 2015 9:06 PM GMT
    Sometimes, in spite of deep depression, having a strong purpose in life can prevent suicide. Meriwether Lewis, one of the 40 men on the Lewis and Clark expedition in the early 19th century, suffered from depression during most of the expedition. What kept him going was the knowledge that others heavily depended on him. After the expedition returned, he killed himself.

    So, having a purpose in life can prevent suicide until a person recovers from depression.
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    Mar 07, 2015 9:33 PM GMT
    Writing compassionate words of encouragement on the internet does not help those in pain as much as being a good human being in real life does.

    You care about those who are suicidal? instead of talking about how sad it is, start practicing compassion everyday and the world will change. Throwing pity parties for the deceased isn't enough.

    Awareness via internet is a start, but practical advice and understanding as to why people commit suicide, is better. Having pity for those who are already dead is just distracting you from learning from that person's death, and the purpose of that person's suicide: to demonstrate the ongoing absence of humanity in our modern era, our collective inability to see pain in others who appear to be happy.

    the amount of compassion in the world is always inversely correlated to the amount of suicide that will inevitably follow. I'm never surprised when I hear someone committed suicide, just consistently disappointed in others and myself each time I hear about it.
  • ChicagoSteve

    Posts: 1272

    Mar 07, 2015 9:54 PM GMT
    jmusmc85 saidThis one time, I tried to get into this club but tickets were sold out. But then A-HAA!!! I noticed the bouncer was a guy I had fucked before. So I went up to him and flirted with him for a little while in hopes of getting in for free. But to my horror, he said NO!!! I was shocked. How could he? I even let him do me on the kitchen table which was very uncomfortable. I felt betrayed. I felt alone. I wanted TO END IT ALL.


    But my friends took my to another bar and after a few shots I forgot all about it. But next time I saw him at the gym I ignored him. HE IS DEAD TO ME.


    I assume this is what suicide feels like.
    Why even post on this thread with a response like that? But then again, I wouldn't expect anything less. It's always got to be something smart ass and inappropriate.
  • MadeinMich

    Posts: 1624

    Mar 07, 2015 10:24 PM GMT
    Mulignan said
    pazzy saidGonna be 100 percent honest. I've been depressed since a preteen and going through certain issues feeling hopeless or thinking that things won't get better or I'll be trapped in it forever. Yeah, I've thought about it but then for some weird reason, there is something within me that just makes me go like "hell no" where Im able to keep going in life. It's like I would rather suffer or gamble on things getting better than to quit or give up. weird enough, looking back 10 years ago, i was feeling just as shitty as i do so cant say that things have changed or improved since 2005 emotionally and the years before that. Hell even though some things have changed for the better, my feelings and thoughts for the most part haven't changed. it's a twisted logic.

    I've tried to go to shrinks, therapists, do journal writing, try to self medicate or do some experimenting. Hell I've even placed my hope on thinking that if a certain issue or problem went away or fixed itself in life, I would feel better. Like if I got a job, paid off whatever, acknowledged that I was gay, started exercising and whatever, that I would feel better or that horrible feelings, anger, anxiousness, paranoia, depression, and whooping woo would disappear but it didn't. Before hand where I would start doing whatever I was going to do to fix whatever, it s like "this is it. I'm going to no longer be depressed or anxiety ridden". It would turn out to be a disappointment where I felt the same.

    So it made me feel like..... it's hard to explain.... not give a fuck though not completely. There's some things that I value such as my freedom. Hell like it's made me a bit tougher but it also made me more colder and meaner towards people where I have a fuck you attitude and am real defensive and hypersensitive towards criticism. It also has made me not want to interact with other people either where I'm not big on socializing. I rather would be alone than to be around people or whatever. hell, regardless, I damn sure wouldn't kill myself and am too stubborn to quit life Even if I'm miserable as fuck. Another reason why I wouldn't kill myself is that now this is going even more personal is that there's some people in the past an the present who basically for some sick reason or another would love to see me dead or kill myself. I think of some of the people in my past where they would basically be on some "I hate you and Want you to basically kill yourself or want you to die". When I see those people on my head, I'm like I refuse to give those fuckers the satisfaction of seeing me down and out. I don't want to prove those fuckers right and would rather have them mad or annoyed knowing that I'm still living and standing. so it's like Im liable to do something to someone who's trying to make my life miserable or wants to make me feel a lot worse than I am. However, I have a conscience and care about my freedom where some of the things that I've thought about doing to whoever I talked myself out of it or was like "naw, that's crazy". Shit, I admire someone like Eminem and 50 cent who got back at th hr people who did them wrong without physically hurting them. I rather get someone back without hurting them physically or with things like words or other means.


    Black folk commit suicide at much lower rates than Caucasians - 50% less. We score higher on both individualism and collectivism, apparently. Asian and Latino-Americans are also much lower, but Native Americans suicide rates have increased.

    Maybe it's because we experience hardships pretty much every single day so we cope better with extreme disappointments. The article says a strong ties to religion for blacks and family for Asians accounts for the lower suicide rates.

    http://students.com.miami.edu/netreporting/?page_id=1285

    OMG. I think you hit the nail on the head with this one. I've always thought this. I think the ethnic majority is also used to the pressure of seeing others around them doing well, and that there is the expectation of if they do all the right things in life everything will turn out ok. They then might be more depressed when it doesn't. I see it being all about expectation.
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    Mar 07, 2015 11:44 PM GMT
    jmusmc85 saidThis one time, I tried to get into this club but tickets were sold out. But then A-HAA!!! I noticed the bouncer was a guy I had fucked before. So I went up to him and flirted with him for a little while in hopes of getting in for free. But to my horror, he said NO!!! I was shocked. How could he? I even let him do me on the kitchen table which was very uncomfortable. I felt betrayed. I felt alone. I wanted TO END IT ALL.


    But my friends took my to another bar and after a few shots I forgot all about it. But next time I saw him at the gym I ignored him. HE IS DEAD TO ME.


    I assume this is what suicide feels like.


    Are you training for the contest of the idiot of the month?

    Jesus Christ, this topic is serious, not some subject which you can split your "excting life" in order to get attention, attention whore. icon_smile.gif


    ---------


    Talking about the real topic of the thread, I've been having suicidal thoughts around all my life, its something I get used to it and tolerate it when the dead thoughts appear.

    Just had to keep focus on the priorities of my life and had to draw some red lines, in order to not damage anybody with my actions even thouse who only concern to me directly.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 08, 2015 12:19 AM GMT
    Suicide is an awful thing, people may have chemical imbalances or have events in their lives that triggers severe depression.

    To NuralShock sorry to hear about your emotional traumas. It seems to me that you put a lot of pressure on yourself from reading your posts, I understand because used to be like you a number of years back. You need to start thinking in the present rather than forward planning to such a meticulous degree in expectation that your current personal sacrifices will make you happier. Start living big in the present and I hope you are getting some help with your circumstances last December. Don't be too self-denying, ridgid on yourself or will become more miserable. Take it from one who used to be like it. Go out there be social, positive and try to add some more light-hearted fun in your life. If hurt comes your way try to see the positive and move on. You will feel so much better with your emotional well-being. Once you start becomming happier and putting less pressure on yourself its surprizing what amazing things and opportunities can fall out of the sky, trust me!

    Psychologically speaking there are three archetypes at the core of people in terms of their thinking: Past, Present and Future thinkers. I used to be a Future/Past thinking person, I realised with an epithany that I needed to cultivate a more present mind to actually enjoy the moment more rather than thinking 12 steps forward based on negative experiences from 3-12 steps backwards (look forward thinking is a great attribute, when it dominates your descision making it can isolate you from the present environment). A balanced individual has incorporated a balance of three aspects of their thinking and is able to apply it to present day thinking. Ask yourself 'Am I always thinking in the future/past or both without considering dealing with the present world around me'. If you are then I think you may need to adjust the way you think.

    People who think too far in the future or past risk emotional and psychological imbalances that can lead to forms of depression. I found by appreciating the present that it helped my well-being tremendously. It may do the same for you...
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    Mar 08, 2015 1:44 AM GMT
    Yes
  • nomad4life

    Posts: 332

    Mar 08, 2015 2:13 AM GMT
    To the OP, I think there may be some other forums on here that have been made based off of a similar topic. If you type into the search engine, you'll find more posts from other guys. I am sorry you lost your friend.

    I see a lot of guys posting on here that most of the time the person suffered from depressive disorders. While this is true for the majority of the cases, do not forget that these are thoughts that can invade anyone. When I was younger I not only had these thoughts but made an actual attempt. They walked in on me as I was pulling the knife across my wrist (now being in the medical field I now know if I wanted to bleed out there are much better vessels to cut and in much more serious ways, but that's the method you hear about on tv all the time). I still have a scar on my left wrist to this day and every day it reminds me, "Someone cared enough to stop me." YPP1 said it, victims want people to care. We want to be stopped. I was in therapy for a long time after it and I finally developed a healthy outlook on life. You could write several books with all the positive things there are that make life worth living, but to a person seriously contemplating this, none of that matters. You just have to be there for them, and like TO22 said in person, not online.

    I was living really happily ever since then, but currently I'm climbing my way back up from a real low swing. 3 years ago one of my best friends jumped off the Washington Bridge. My attempt failed. His succeeded. Brought back a lot of trauma. I went back into therapy and it helped me so much. Professional counselors know what they're doing and it's worth it to get your friends to go, but you have to convince because they often times won't seek help themselves.

    To jmusmc85, don't make such a serious topic into another typical RJ bitchfest.

    To Neural Shock, hang in there. You sound strong.

    To bobbobbob, your story is amazing.

    To brutetrap, I've never heard that past/present/future theory before. I'd be interested in hearing more.
  • Jeepguy2

    Posts: 159

    Mar 08, 2015 2:13 AM GMT
    Yes


  • FRE0

    Posts: 4862

    Mar 08, 2015 2:39 AM GMT
    One of my mother's brothers killed himself leaving his wife and children behind. The effect on everyone in the family was devastating which is often the case. That in itself is a good reason not to commit suicide.

    Even when depression does not result in suicide, it seriously degrades the quality of life and may even interfere with the ability to earn a living. Generally it can be successfully treated.
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    Mar 08, 2015 8:26 AM GMT
    ChicagoSteve saidI learned yesterday that an acquaintance of mine, someone who I had worked with several years ago, took his own life on Thursday night. I had not seen or spoken with him in several years, but we did keep in touch on Facebook. I remember him as always being very upbeat and cracking jokes, he was really fun to work with. He was in his mid 40s. About a year ago on Facebook he posted something to the effect of wanting to know where his previously great life had disappeared to. It got me to thinking, so I wanted to throw this question out there.Do you think you could ever get to a point where you felt so low, that taking your own life was the only option?


    Instead of watching it roll by on social media, did you ever think about picking up the PHONE, CALLING, and saying "How you been?" "You, O.k.?" Social skills 101.