Older men claiming to have pursued older in the past...

  • you_know_Its_...

    Posts: 261

    Mar 07, 2015 8:54 PM GMT
    ...they tend to be currently pursuing someone much younger. Are the "I was 20 and he was 40" stories merely stories just to make it more socially acceptable for him to do the reverse? The men in my circles constantly elaborate in detail about the young men they've pursued/fucked in the past and, when questioned about the pattern, always hastily add that they've also gone after older.
  • mystery905

    Posts: 745

    Mar 07, 2015 10:42 PM GMT
    I have always gone for older. Now that I'm 46 I go for my age or older, never younger.
  • bobbobbob

    Posts: 2812

    Mar 07, 2015 11:09 PM GMT
    uncomfortable_questions said...they tend to be currently pursuing someone much younger. Are the "I was 20 and he was 40" stories merely stories just to make it more socially acceptable for him to do the reverse? The men in my circles constantly elaborate in detail about the young men they've pursued/fucked in the past and, when questioned about the pattern, always hastily add that they've also gone after older.


    Just for context I checked your profile to get age and to get a locale for where these "men in your circles" might reside. I'm glad I did. They might be important.

    From my own long time friends and acquaintances in your greater metro area there's definitely more of that than where I am but it's not always as simple as you might be wanting it to be.

    I'm 66 and the men I'm talking about are all within a decade of me in age. I've known some of them back into the mid 1980s and have seen how they've changed over time and how their choice of human toys have evolved.

    I've heard some of them speak of their younger days and their adventures with older men. That was back when I met them we were all in longer than average relationships with men closer to our own ages.

    Either through breakup or death we're all single now. With one wavering exception out of five they've all gone exclusively to dating men substantially younger than themselves. My assumption was that money was a bigger factor than in most relationships for between men closer in age. I imagined it as a man my age may have more money than than the younger one and things balance out in their own ways.

    But that doesn't explain something like a 62 year old man in a fifteen year relationship with a 36 year old "West Coast 10" who's now the wealthiest of the pair.

    As for my friends from your area (now using your words) "constantly elaborate in detail about the young men they've pursued/fucked in the past".....
    I don't recall any conversation like that with them. But then I'm probably more the reason for that than they.

    I'm not a prude but I appreciate a sense of decorum. That means I don't discuss details of my sex life with others and do my best not to listen while others do. That's crass locker room mentality, boasting of sexual conquests which are most likely embellished for the benefit of the speaker's ego.

    Then for the way you describe as, "when questioned about the pattern, always hastily add that they've also gone after older."....... That's nothing but a defensive rationalization for their current behavior that I'd not worry about. If you rationalized drinking a bottle of cognac a day at your current age by saying you never drank any cognac until you were thirty they'd laugh at you for making a statement as stupid as their own. So beat them to the punch and laugh at them the next time they say something like that.


  • bobbobbob

    Posts: 2812

    Mar 07, 2015 11:17 PM GMT
    I will add this....

    I've been single now for just less than a year and really have no desire to take on another relationship with a man of any age.

    I've had to break off two before they became too serious. One was 20 years younger and the other was two years older than my grandson.

    Telling you anything about how they were in bed or how beautiful both are would make me feel like your own friends boasting of men they've sacked.

    It's just not my style.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 08, 2015 3:38 PM GMT
    When young men feel an inability to connect to peers and/or feel they've lost guidance in their life, they seek it out in someone who appears that they may be able to help.

    When someone feels as if youth and inner innocence has been lost, this person will seek it out sexually in the world through a form that most commonly represents youth. Everyone is trying to heal something regardless of how perverse it may seem.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 08, 2015 7:55 PM GMT
    mystery905 saidI have always gone for older. Now that I'm 46 I go for my age or older, never younger.
    i will go younger but I really hesitate if they are under 30
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 09, 2015 1:23 AM GMT
    TO22 saidWhen young men feel an inability to connect to peers and/or feel they've lost guidance in their life, they seek it out in someone who appears that they may be able to help.

    When someone feels as if youth and inner innocence has been lost, this person will seek it out sexually in the world through a form that most commonly represents youth. Everyone is trying to heal something regardless of how perverse it may seem.



    I've never thought of it that way, but I'd say this is fairly accurate based on my own experiences and speculation.
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    Mar 09, 2015 6:51 AM GMT
    I never went out of my way to pursue younger guys but similar interests have steered me that way. Sure there are generational differences but just being able to workout with your BF eliminates most guys in my Age group.
  • vbportugal

    Posts: 82

    Mar 09, 2015 8:09 AM GMT
    paracosm said
    TO22 saidWhen young men feel an inability to connect to peers and/or feel they've lost guidance in their life, they seek it out in someone who appears that they may be able to help.

    When someone feels as if youth and inner innocence has been lost, this person will seek it out sexually in the world through a form that most commonly represents youth. Everyone is trying to heal something regardless of how perverse it may seem.



    I've never thought of it that way, but I'd say this is fairly accurate based on my own experiences and speculation.


    I agree from a younger guy's perspective.
  • peterstrong

    Posts: 989

    Mar 09, 2015 4:27 PM GMT
    zzzzzzzzzzzzz...........

    these type of threads are boring / if two guys find each other attractive and want to get it on together for a day or a month or a year or 10 years, or the rest of their lives - who cares what the age difference is - as long as its legal of course : )

    personally i am most attracted to other masculine and very physically active and fit guys whatever their age

    Haters gonna always hate on someone they suspect is having a better sex life then themselves. Give it up already......

    As Rogan and Franco said in their recent movie
    " They hate us, because they aint us "


  • craycraydoesd...

    Posts: 596

    Mar 09, 2015 5:05 PM GMT
    uncomfortable_questions said...they tend to be currently pursuing someone much younger. Are the "I was 20 and he was 40" stories merely stories just to make it more socially acceptable for him to do the reverse? The men in my circles constantly elaborate in detail about the young men they've pursued/fucked in the past and, when questioned about the pattern, always hastily add that they've also gone after older.


    I'd imagine even the "currently seeing a 20 y/o" part is also made up too, just to show that they're hot enough to attract one. Note that they would never say they're in a monogamous relationship with one because that would close the doors that they precisely want to open. icon_lol.gif
  • you_know_Its_...

    Posts: 261

    Mar 21, 2015 8:14 PM GMT
    A few frequent posters come to mind icon_lol.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 22, 2015 12:28 AM GMT
    you_know_its_true saidA few frequent posters come to mind icon_lol.gif


    With only 18 posts how "frequent" are you to know that?

    I smell a troll!
  • SilverRRCloud

    Posts: 875

    Mar 22, 2015 12:45 AM GMT
    If a dude is pursuing a much younger/older dude he really owes no explanation for this. It is his life, and he is free to invest his energy, time and money as he sees fit.

    I have been friends with a few guys in my college days who were dating much older guys. Sure, money, travel, clothes, financial benefits played a role, too.

    Couple of them, I am still in touch with are now pursuing much younger dudes. In a manner of speaking, they are enjoying the reverse roles. No harm done.

    You come across younger guys who are attractive, and have had no problems with hooking up with the guys in their peer group. You hook up, have sex. Move on, hook up, have sex... At the end of the day, a few of those dudes simply feel unappreciated, and start craving for a guy who'll spend some time with them, show them that he cares, etc. True or not, they go with the older guys for the whole range of benefits. It ain't that different in the straight world either.

    I see little virtue in policing the sexuality of people I know. They do things for a reason. It is their life, and they are calling the shots.

    SC