Small town guy

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 08, 2015 6:23 PM GMT
    So I’m pretty new to most of this, mostly just looking for advice or others’ input. Here’s my dilemma I’m 26 years old I’ve been living with my parents for several years to save up money to buy a house, I’m not out mostly for the reason of living at home. I have an ok job working in a bank but it doesn't pay that great in a small rural town of about 3500 in central Nebraska. I’ve never really done anything with a guy until a few weekends ago I stayed with a guy from Omaha, we didn't do anything wild, but it was so nice to just cut loose and have no worries, went to some bars and just hung out. I’ve always thought I wanted to live in a small town (my family has been here for 130 years), but the more I think about it the more I realize there is really nothing here for me, don’t really have many friends outside of work and even if I did come out and have my own place, the dating opportunities I figure are virtually nonexistent. I’ve been using Grindr and Scruff for a while now but it just confirms how few guys there are in my area. Grindr picks up guys 150+ miles away, the closest are usually 50 miles away. Since I stayed with my friend in Omaha, I’ve been thinking about quitting my job and moving away. I know I have to make the decision for myself, just looking for some insight or to hear from other small town guys. Thanks for any input!

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 08, 2015 6:35 PM GMT
    I would first make sure you have another job before you move. It's also easier to get a job, if you are currently employed in a stabe job because a lot of employers will look suspiciously at you if you quit your job and move before you have another job because then it looks like you are running away from something. Most applications will ask how long you have lived at your present residence and if its less then a year, it just doesn't look good on a job application. It looks then like you are a roamer and never stay in a job very long and are constantly on the move and they may wonder how long you will stay at their job before you quit and move again. Get the job first, then move. I'm just trying to help you avoid a lot of pit falls that I have seen many people fall in to.
  • Apparition

    Posts: 3529

    Mar 08, 2015 7:14 PM GMT
    this is the reason they invented university/college, get the hell out of the house and live your life, no matter what it costs.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 08, 2015 7:47 PM GMT
    If you have enough in savings, then go for the move! But you need to note three important things before you do:

    - Make sure your savings are enough to last for about 6 months. In case you can't find a job immediately, you're going to need enough to live on for months while continuing your job search.
    - Control your spending habits. You don't ever want to run out of $$!
    - Come up with a backup plan in case your move doesn't work out. You might need to go back home for a while.

    Good luck!!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 09, 2015 12:42 AM GMT
    Banker88 said... I’ve always thought I wanted to live in a small town (my family has been here for 130 years)...
    does your family own land / farm / business? If not just as well if you consider moving. Ask your current employer if they have other branch offices. Look for the same work in a larger town.

    just when all else fails you will one day see a cute man filling his jeep up in your small town.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 09, 2015 12:53 AM GMT
    Boy does this sound familiar!

    When I was 24, I too moved back in with my parents to build a house. I built my house very very close to my family because I loved them and assumed that everything would be okay. Everything went fine until they realized my boyfriend was not my "room mate." All hell broke loose and I became so depressed I ended up losing my house. It was one of the worst periods of my life. If I could go back in time I would have moved away from there instead of building that house. icon_neutral.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 09, 2015 1:01 AM GMT
    I thought it was basically the rule of life that anyone unfortunate enough to be born gay in a small town should make it their #1 priority to escape as soon as reasonable.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 09, 2015 1:13 AM GMT
    Erik101 saidIf you have enough in savings, then go for the move! But you need to note two important things before you do:

    - Make sure your savings are enough to last for about 6 months. In case you can't find a job immediately, you're going to need enough to live on for months while continuing your job search.
    - Control your spending habits. You don't ever want to run out of $$!
    - Come up with a backup plan in case your move doesn't work out. You might need to go back home for a while.

    Good luck!!


    I agree with Erik except that there are 3 important things.
  • Jeepguy2

    Posts: 164

    Mar 09, 2015 1:18 AM GMT
    If you want to go anywhere in banking you are probably going to eventually have to move to Omaha anyway. My dad was a banker and he would have gone much farther in his banking career had he been willing to move to leave the small rural town where he grew up and move to the big city where the regional bank he worked for had its Headquarters, but he was not.

    Start sending resumes to banks in Omaha. If the bank you currently work for has offices in Omaha put in for a transfer there. Whatever you do make sure you have a new job lined up there before you quit your current one and move.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 09, 2015 1:25 AM GMT
    ^^ agreed. You will need to move to a big city to advance in your career. Go forth and blossom… LOL..
  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    Mar 09, 2015 1:25 AM GMT
    get out while you are young ... the longer you put it off the more difficult it will be to leave. The problem with country bumpkins goin' to the big city, is that they can be very naive. So if you leave, don't be naive. Unfortunately the gay community is full of losers that infiltrate and pretend to be friends or possible lovers so that they can take advantage of those that have not been around the block. Never let anyone know you have any money. Never be the one that is always treating. If some one is just taking taking taking and never buying you a drink or a meal etc. they are not really trying to be your friend, they are just looking to use you. Never carry much hard cash on you. Always keep your wallet and money in your front pocket when going out. Never have more than one credit card number and always write all the numbers down and how you call the company to report it stolen or lost. Never leave your drink unattended. Never let anyone borrow your car or give them a key to your place. Never walk the street at night alone. And never forget to keep your family close to your heart and always call them to see how they are. You never know when you may need to call them to bail you out of a bad situation. Make friends with an older guy that has a real permanent job, they can give you their guidance, knowledge and experience. No you don't have to trick with him and if that is all he is expecting, then he is not a real friend either. .... It's a lot of fun out there, but you can't walk into it blindly.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 09, 2015 3:17 AM GMT
    the sooner you can get out, the better. you don't have to go to somewhere as massive as NYC or Chicago. but you can still get somewhere like OKC, Shreveport, Wichita, Albuquerque....cities of similar sizes.
  • nomad4life

    Posts: 332

    Mar 09, 2015 7:53 PM GMT
    Run...very fast.

    Tell your parents. Maybe they'd be willing to help with the move
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 09, 2015 8:10 PM GMT
    Run don't walk to your nearest exit.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 10, 2015 12:15 AM GMT
    You do you boo. But I would GTFO as soon as possible. You aint' getting any younger. Don't waste these valuable years wasting away in a place you are not happy with....
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 10, 2015 2:35 AM GMT
    Banker88 said... I’ve been thinking about quitting my job and moving away.
    ...
    Yeah, me too, back in 2004 when I lived in bumfuck rural Arkansas.

    I thought about it a whole month, gave my two week notice at work, moved to Miami, and never looked back.

    Food for thought. icon_wink.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 10, 2015 3:08 AM GMT

    icon_smile.gificon_smile.gificon_smile.gificon_smile.gificon_smile.gificon_smile.gificon_smile.gificon_smile.gificon_smile.gificon_smile.gif:
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 10, 2015 4:44 AM GMT
    paulflexes said
    Banker88 said... I’ve been thinking about quitting my job and moving away.
    ...
    Yeah, me too, back in 2004 when I lived in bumfuck rural Arkansas.

    I thought about it a whole month, gave my two week notice at work, moved to Miami, and never looked back.

    Food for thought. icon_wink.gif


    You don't live in Miami. I never see you.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 10, 2015 5:27 AM GMT
    Well... I went back east for skool. Guess what? You can never, ever, get away from the sound of the neighbors TVs and screaming brats. Sirens go all night. ALL NIGHT. Police helicopters hover around the neighborhoods all night, keeping everyone awake, but they don't do anything when someone steals your stuff except have another donut, because, that might be, like, dangerous. Everyone, EVERYONE is trying to steal from you, every minute of the day. There is never a moment when you can't smell someone else's shit or hear two or more people having a screaming argument. It is never dark or quiet. Nobody you meet there has ever even seen the stars. They think that's something on TV.

    Small towns (or no towns) start to sound better every minute.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 11, 2015 1:59 AM GMT
    I actually have a very similar story. I grew up in a small southern town. Went to college less than 10 miles from home, and then went straight to work at a financial company even closer. I was so busy going to school and working 3 jobs, I never had time to think about a bf. Living a gay lifestyle was so far away from anything I could imagine, even into my early 20's.

    Incidentally, I spent a year in Iraq, and when I came back home, I realized how short life is. I felt incredibly restless - something I never felt before. I took a 6 month road trip, and for the first time, I got to see all the parts of the US I just read about. The world is so much bigger than what we make of it.

    Anyway, the hardest part was making the decision. Once I was sure of it, it didn't take too long at all to leave home. It's hard leaving your family and friends, and surrendering yourself to the unknown. Even after I moved, it was another year before I had my first gay kiss. I was such a late bloomer. But I never regretted it. I hope you don't either.