Getting back with an ex...

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 09, 2015 3:32 AM GMT
    Thoughts? Experiences?

    Thanks icon_smile.gif.
  • wesv

    Posts: 907

    Mar 09, 2015 3:34 AM GMT
    I don't want to be a dick, but most of those fail. I can't speak for your case though. Everyone's different.
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    Mar 09, 2015 3:48 AM GMT
    wesv saidI don't want to be a dick, but most of those fail. I can't speak for your case though. Everyone's different.


    Well in this case we didn't break up hating each other... We actually had a relationship full of love but we thought that we needed some growing up to do by ourselves.
    I've been dating other guys and none of them compare to him.
    Last night I texted him that I wanted to see him and we had THE most amazing night, we stayed up till 5 am just chatting and drinking wine, he slept at my place and we ended up spending the day together.
    It's funny how I'm widly scared of making the same mistakes or getting back to the same point were we decided last time to call it off but honestly, as pathetic as it may sound, just hugging him made everything dissappear and nothing else matter.
    I am so confused right now... but I miss living with him and having someone who can comfort me without saying anything he just knows...

    Uggh.. most people say they don't work out but I don't know... I really don't...
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 09, 2015 3:58 AM GMT
    Well if it doesn't work out I guess the worst is that you'll feel bad, but it would be a learning experience. ("Yeah, they were right." "Nope, they were wrong.")
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 09, 2015 4:09 AM GMT
    Sounds to me like you both just took a break to discover your true feelings for each other. Not like you broke up hating each other. Now that you both realize how much you enjoy each other's company, so why not get back together?
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    Mar 09, 2015 4:18 AM GMT
    initially its not like the two of you were not trying to do things 100% right in the relationship. getting back together you will face all the old issues and a few new ones.

    seems a wast of emotion to break up in the first place?
  • wesv

    Posts: 907

    Mar 09, 2015 4:22 AM GMT
    Marsu said
    wesv saidI don't want to be a dick, but most of those fail. I can't speak for your case though. Everyone's different.


    Well in this case we didn't break up hating each other... We actually had a relationship full of love but we thought that we needed some growing up to do by ourselves.
    I've been dating other guys and none of them compare to him.
    Last night I texted him that I wanted to see him and we had THE most amazing night, we stayed up till 5 am just chatting and drinking wine, he slept at my place and we ended up spending the day together.
    It's funny how I'm widly scared of making the same mistakes or getting back to the same point were we decided last time to call it off but honestly, as pathetic as it may sound, just hugging him made everything dissappear and nothing else matter.
    I am so confused right now... but I miss living with him and having someone who can comfort me without saying anything he just knows...

    Uggh.. most people say they don't work out but I don't know... I really don't...


    Ok so I'd say it would more likely to workout. I broke up with my last boyfriend hating him but decided to stay as fwb's. That actually made things worse...

    If everything went well when you spent time with him, then that's a good sign.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 09, 2015 4:55 AM GMT
    pellaz saidinitially its not like the two of you were not trying to do things 100% right in the relationship. getting back together you will face all the old issues and a few new ones.

    seems a wast of emotion to break up in the first place?


    Well like polfsky said, why call it a waste of emotion, maybe that's what we needed to realize that we should be together...

    But yeah, I'm aware that probably we'll have to face the same issues we had last time, but also maybe there'll be a new perspective on solving this?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 09, 2015 9:09 AM GMT
    My ex live in San Francisco. I'm in SoCal. He's with someone new, last time I checked his FB. I dated and hooked up with different types of guys from him. But yeah, the past is in the past. I still hold a special place in my heart for him but getting back together, IMpossible, not a chance. I'm a different person than before, not innocent or naive. It wound't work, we're too different.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 09, 2015 10:12 AM GMT
    Well, if you left him or the relationship died it was for a reason... ┬┐no?

    I don't think it could be a good move.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 09, 2015 12:44 PM GMT
    Maybe it will work, maybe it won't. No one has the magic ball.
    There's no guarantee that dating a new guy would work either.

    Though the real life story like this that I heard was someone that my uncle knew.
    This guy basically cheated on his wife, left her and his kids to marry his mistress, have another kids with the mistress, discovered that the mistress was a raging abusive bitch, left the mistress, and got back together with his first wife. Been together again for years now. Longer than with the mistress this second time. He said he missed his kids (with the mistress), but it was necessary for him to leave, and he said he's such a lucky man to have someone who would accept his mistakes and gave him a second chance.

    Other than that, I only heard that in movies.
    But, good luck!
  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    Mar 09, 2015 1:37 PM GMT
    Only you and him can make that call. If it was an amicable separation to just take a break I wouldn't see where that would be a problem. Good luck to you both.
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    Mar 09, 2015 6:20 PM GMT
    Each relationship is its own entity. don't listen to the friends who say - better off without him. Ex---mine has a name. I think that It says something about the man who discussed his former partner with honesty rather than malice.
    pd
  • nautico85

    Posts: 3

    Mar 09, 2015 6:33 PM GMT
    I did it, naively. I do not recommend it. But sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do.
  • Tooji

    Posts: 26

    Mar 09, 2015 7:13 PM GMT
    We all learn from our own mistakes, even if it's a mistake - It's a mistake you have to make.
    According to what you said, it doesn't sound all that bad... but eventually - you're the one to decide according to your feelings.
    If you do come back together, I wish you good luck. icon_smile.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 09, 2015 7:18 PM GMT
    I only move forward, never backwards.
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    Mar 10, 2015 12:09 AM GMT
    I have straight friends that were dating. Then they broke up on a really, really bad term. They were angry and couldn't stand to see each other.

    Yet a year passed, both got more mature and realized they really cared for each other. So they got back together and are now happily married.

    It can work. (Not every case, of course.)
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 11, 2015 2:41 AM GMT
    Don't do it. Terrible, Terrible, Terrible Terrible idea.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 12, 2015 2:36 AM GMT
    Well I still have no idea on what to do haha, but cheers guys icon_smile.gif
  • mybud

    Posts: 11837

    Mar 17, 2015 5:14 AM GMT
    You left them for a reason...
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 17, 2015 7:31 AM GMT
    Works for some people - not for others. If you both want it, why not give it a go? Time will tell.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 17, 2015 9:06 AM GMT
    We'll how have both of you changed now?

    Maybe you needed to realize how lucky you both were to have one another?!?!

    I say if you both had a great time and genuinely care about each other go for it. Just don't break his heart...

    Don't let other people cause you to doubt what your heart wants -- if you allow ppl on here to cause you to second guess yourself or doubt yourself your relationship will be tainted with insecurity.

    Get out of your head, if he's a good guy and you can get it up for him, go for it icon_wink.gif

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 17, 2015 9:08 PM GMT
    Well just FYI, it definitely does not work. Last night it ended the worst way possible.
    FML
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 17, 2015 9:35 PM GMT
    Marsu saidWell just FYI, it definitely does not work. Last night it ended the worst way possible.
    FML


    Now start the rebound sex !! Lol JK icon_razz.gificon_razz.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 17, 2015 9:41 PM GMT
    Sorry to hear it didn't work. You have a lot of time left. There will be others.