Sexual preference or racism/homophpbia?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 12, 2015 3:45 PM GMT
    Seems like there are A LOT of double standards when it comes to gay men and sex. For instance, a black guy can say he likes whites only and no one says a word. A feminine guy can state his preference for only masculine men, and he is left alone. Yet when the dominant "alpha type" of guy..most likely masculine, white, jockish, etc states a preference for a particular type of guy, he is labeled racist or homophobic against his fellow gays.

    Listen people.. no one is "entitled" to your body. You have a right to have whatever preferences you want. There is a difference in being racist/homophobic and making an effort to not even talk to ethnic, older or feminine men for friendship, than rejecting their sexual advances because you simply can't get a boner for them. It just seems like a bunch of butthurt guys shame those that won't have sex with them. I see "jocks" with a preference for daddies, black men, submissive fems, etc all the time. There are types for everyone, and you can't confuse simple sexual preferences for prejudice in my opinion. Does this double standard exist for y'all or no?
  • YourName

    Posts: 6

    Mar 12, 2015 7:31 PM GMT
    To me, yes sometimes it can be very racist.
    Especially when I read "No Curry, No Rice, No Fried Chicken".

    To me, that's racist, because it reduces people to a stereotype.

    BUT when I want someone to change that, it's not about guilt shaming you into having sex with me. And it's also not about your preference. It's about the use of words and the respect for other human beings.
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    Mar 12, 2015 7:33 PM GMT
    YourName saidTo me, yes sometimes it can be very racist.
    Especially when I read "No Curry, No Rice, No Fried Chicken".

    To me, that's racist, because it reduces people to a stereotype.


    You're confusing racism with rudeness. BIG difference.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 12, 2015 7:34 PM GMT
    What's homophpbia?
  • mybud

    Posts: 11836

    Mar 12, 2015 8:36 PM GMT
    Radd said
    YourName saidTo me, yes sometimes it can be very racist.
    Especially when I read "No Curry, No Rice, No Fried Chicken".

    To me, that's racist, because it reduces people to a stereotype.


    You're confusing racism with rudeness. BIG difference.
    DING DING DING.....and you're right
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 12, 2015 8:39 PM GMT
    " It just seems like a bunch of butthurt guys shame those that won't have sex with them."

    So anyone who disagrees with you, therefore he wants to have SEX with you?

    So if you say "No N^^^^S please!" Then blacks want to have sex with you?

    So if you say "NO ONE OVER 25", then it's the 40 YO who wants to have sex with you?

    So if you say "DDF" then it's the POZ guy who wants to have sex with you?

    Your logic is faulty.

    If I read anything like that in any profile I assume they are rude, stupid, arrogant and not worth a second of my time. And NO I do not want to have sex with you!



  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 12, 2015 8:45 PM GMT
    mybud said
    Radd said
    YourName saidTo me, yes sometimes it can be very racist.
    Especially when I read "No Curry, No Rice, No Fried Chicken".

    To me, that's racist, because it reduces people to a stereotype.


    You're confusing racism with rudeness. BIG difference.
    DING DING DING.....and you're right


    Are you trying to say it's just rude and not racist?

    WTF do you think "No Curry" refers to? A race.

    WTF do you think "No Rice" refers to? Asians I assume

    WTF do you think "No Fried Chicken" refers to? I love KFC, but I doubt it's about my race.

    It's racist as hell! Coyly trying to hide it makes all the more obvious.
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    Mar 12, 2015 8:51 PM GMT
    Lol someone is getting very hostile.. Those are extreme examples. I've never seen a profile that used the N word in that manner, but I agree that yes, if someone were to specifically say "no blacks" with no other context, that would be very rude. My logic is not faulty because I wasn't making a generalizing statement.

    It's all about the words you use or how you go about "rejecting" someone. My question was simply if different "types" (in more aspects than just race) are valid in being aggressively butthurt when they get turned down by those whom they proposition. I've seen it happen a lot actually. Example.. a guy I had only had 2 sentences worth of an online conversation with 5 years ago sends me annual messages on Facebook telling me I'm not a real person, and he actually told me he heard I wasn't actually gay and was just "teasing" people by being on sites like grindr and okcupid and not responding to them. There's really not much thought that needed to be put into the situation...I simply wasn't attracted to him, nor was I rude, and he took it to a whole different level. Here's a general statement: sometimes people just need to take a hint and move on.
  • mybud

    Posts: 11836

    Mar 12, 2015 8:57 PM GMT
    GMS is right individuals are using horrible examples...Bottom line...You're attracted to your type...whatever that type is...That's what gets you hard. So a person shouldn't get butt hurt when they hear..."you're not a type". Only gays with low self esteem throw around the racist card when they get rejected.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 12, 2015 9:57 PM GMT
    Most of these profiles have only lines with NO/YES list.
    Sorry, but I don't buy this shit that all the Asians/Blacks/Fems are running after you. We all get it you have preferences, but pretending that you get so many messages specially from these groups which requires the NO/YES list is unbelivable. Only reason I see is because you see the need to put people down so that you can feel good about yourself.

    Don't get me started on the self-entitlment which you'll find in so many online dating profiles.
    You have to be this, this and this, then only contact me. Ok, BYE!!
  • Primaryman

    Posts: 4

    Mar 12, 2015 10:51 PM GMT
    I think as long as you let someone know that you just aren't into them with respect, it's no big deal. Most of us are big boys, and can handle not being the cat's meow for most men. Though, honestly, sometimes they're guys out there who just can't handle rejection, and get very hostile. I am by no means everyone's type. I'm actually very few guys type. But, the same goes for the opposite. Not every guy is my type. And that is ok. But, being an asshole to someone is NEVER sexy...ever.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 13, 2015 12:11 AM GMT
    I don't think it's racist at all to have personal preferences. I also think it's cool to be up front and say what you're not into - saves time. I just don't think people should be rude about it, nor do I think anyone should take it personally. Why should anyone's self esteem depend on the preferences of another?
  • Apparition

    Posts: 3525

    Mar 13, 2015 12:40 AM GMT
    not this crap again...

    be an alpha male and let the little people's opinions of you not matter to you. problem solved.

    You would think by now these would be checklisted on fuck sites. When you read the guys' profile and you are a match you would be outlined in green, and if not, then in red. Problem solved.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 13, 2015 12:57 AM GMT
    GMS1988 saidLol someone is getting very hostile.. Those are extreme examples. I've never seen a profile that used the N word in that manner, but I agree that yes, if someone were to specifically say "no blacks" with no other context, that would be very rude. My logic is not faulty because I wasn't making a generalizing statement.

    It's all about the words you use or how you go about "rejecting" someone. My question was simply if different "types" (in more aspects than just race) are valid in being aggressively butthurt when they get turned down by those whom they proposition. I've seen it happen a lot actually. Example.. a guy I had only had 2 sentences worth of an online conversation with 5 years ago sends me annual messages on Facebook telling me I'm not a real person, and he actually told me he heard I wasn't actually gay and was just "teasing" people by being on sites like grindr and okcupid and not responding to them. There's really not much thought that needed to be put into the situation...I simply wasn't attracted to him, nor was I rude, and he took it to a whole different level. Here's a general statement: sometimes people just need to take a hint and move on.


    " It just seems like a bunch of butthurt guys shame those that won't have sex with them."

    I think we've all had stalkers. If "No Thank You" doesn't work, you may just want to block them. BFD.

    It doesn't make your argument for using racist/homophobic comments as being legitimate. There are two different issues 1) Racism/homophobia and 2) dealing with stalkers/rude people.


  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 13, 2015 1:14 AM GMT
    Let's be honest, there's usually no real reason to tell someone WHY you're not attracted to them. Rejection is clear enough on it's own. If you're not interested in someone, for whatever reasons, don't be a douche about it (which is 90% of the issue usually).

    Just say, "Appreciate the interest.. I'm looking for something different, no disrespect intended." You'll almost never get a negative reaction.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 13, 2015 1:26 AM GMT
    everybody likes what they like. As long as they're not deluding themselves, it's fine.

    And it's only racist if you don't like them because you think that particular thing makes them inferior to you.
  • being_human

    Posts: 152

    Mar 13, 2015 2:36 AM GMT
    Another "alpha type" .. "white" thread.... Only racists think racist shit.
  • roadbikeRob

    Posts: 14350

    Mar 13, 2015 3:06 AM GMT
    Face harsh reality, guys have certain preferences for other guys. That is strictly their decision who they want to be friends with or hook up with. It's just part of human nature. If a guy you find very sexy is not reciprocating to your interest in him, don't get all bent out of shape. Just accept the fact that he is not interested and move on with life. There are millions of men out there and your ideal man might be in those millions. Hey you just never know.
  • SuntoryTime

    Posts: 656

    Mar 13, 2015 3:09 AM GMT
    mybud saidGMS is right individuals are using horrible examples...Bottom line...You're attracted to your type...whatever that type is...That's what gets you hard. So a person shouldn't get butt hurt when they hear..."you're not a type". Only gays with low self esteem throw around the racist card when they get rejected.


    I spoke to my friends about this. They agreed that it isn't being rejected for not being a person's type that gets them, it's the fact that the overwhelming majority of gay men prefer men that aren't black.

    I thought there was truth to this but all the "non-PC" guys never seem to have a non-avoidant answer for it. Openly racist guys are more honest about this subject.
  • SuntoryTime

    Posts: 656

    Mar 13, 2015 3:18 AM GMT
    Life2Short saideverybody likes what they like. As long as they're not deluding themselves, it's fine.

    And it's only racist if you don't like them because you think that particular thing makes them inferior to you.


    When you get to the nitty gritty, you don't like something because there's something about it you find less than appealing...in other words, that something is inferior to something you do like.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 13, 2015 8:15 AM GMT
    __morphic__ saidMost of these profiles have only lines with NO/YES list.
    Sorry, but I don't buy this shit that all the Asians/Blacks/Fems are running after you. We all get it you have preferences, but pretending that you get so many messages specially from these groups which requires the NO/YES list is unbelivable. Only reason I see is because you see the need to put people down so that you can feel good about yourself.

    Don't get me started on the self-entitlment which you'll find in so many online dating profiles.
    You have to be this, this and this, then only contact me. Ok, BYE!!


    +1. Come on, Nashville Tennessee? If anything dudes should be running away. icon_razz.gif

    I never understood the "No xyz" complex in terms of race. It's so silly. The ones who also say "xyz only" are even sadder, but they're fun to troll icon_razz.gif The funny part is, once these same dudes begin to "age" and most not so gracefully, then their attitudes change. Humble yourself fellow homos.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 14, 2015 3:01 AM GMT
    Saw this video and made a connection to this thread. Perspective from a white guy.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 14, 2015 3:35 AM GMT
    LAXWill10 saidSaw this video and made a connection to this thread. Perspective from a white guy.

    (Stupid video removed)

    Thanks for wasting 5 minutes of my life. This queen is vapid and annoying as fuck. And never gave a logical reason why having a racial preference is "racist." He talks about racial preferences being "a problem" on Grindr. Who exactly is this a "problem" for? It's not a problem for the guys who have these preferences. What he's saying is it's a problem for the guys who are missing out on the dick. icon_rolleyes.gif What a load of fucked up politically correct bullshit. There ain't no Affirmative Action posters up in my bedroom. icon_confused.gif
  • Buddha

    Posts: 1766

    Mar 14, 2015 8:09 AM GMT
    It's racist, but it's not racist in the sense that most people say it is.

    Most people think that it's an active choice to rule out certain groups, but is it really? Almost all of us are grown up in a society where whites are generally considered to be the more attractive race, which can be seen in ads, tv-shows and even porn. It's not that weird that we've been wired to consider certain people to be more attractive than others.

    While I think that this is getting more and more loose, it still exists and heavily influences the gay world. We can look at aussiebum ads, gay porn, etc, and get some kind of idea of what the ideal is.

    Unless the person is being a total douche, I think it's difficult to blame a person for something that we as a society keep perpetuating as a whole. Sure, they're part of the reproduction of that norm, but I still think this is an issue you need to put on a larger scale than just shaming a few individuals.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 20, 2015 6:54 AM GMT
    Buddha saidIt's racist, but it's not racist in the sense that most people say it is.

    Most people think that it's an active choice to rule out certain groups, but is it really? Almost all of us are grown up in a society where whites are generally considered to be the more attractive race, which can be seen in ads, tv-shows and even porn. It's not that weird that we've been wired to consider certain people to be more attractive than others.

    While I think that this is getting more and more loose, it still exists and heavily influences the gay world. We can look at aussiebum ads, gay porn, etc, and get some kind of idea of what the ideal is.

    Unless the person is being a total douche, I think it's difficult to blame a person for something that we as a society keep perpetuating as a whole. Sure, they're part of the reproduction of that norm, but I still think this is an issue you need to put on a larger scale than just shaming a few individuals.


    Exactly this.

    We need to ask ourselves:

    Am I not attracted you these people because I do not find their physical features attractive?

    Or is it that society has portrayed them with negative situations such as crime, poverty, and unintelligence?

    I think we can definitely agree that society portrays whites in a more positive manner than non-whites, especially American society. They set the standard of beauty and hold the most wealth/power. For god sake even the men of color society deems "attractive" typically are actually mixed and have somewhat euro features.