My research is finished now

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 13, 2015 1:42 PM GMT
    Let me preface this by saying that yes I am a real person, yes my picture is me, and yes I am gay, but my intentions have been a little deceptive. I've been doing my Master's thesis in Sociology on how technology has caused divisiveness in gay culture. I made several threads that, although they brought up valid points in a respectful manner, were overshadowed by people's nitpicking, jumping to conclusions, and overall oversensitivity that caused them to not even be able to have an intelligent discussion.

    The problem seems to lie not with the newer members of this forum, but with the older ones, both in age and seniority.(go ahead and cry ageist without even reading anything else) For so many on here promoting equality, I'd like all of you to scroll down to the HIV discussion forum on the main page and take a look at some of the same members that post on this forum. Won't be trashy and name drop just see for yourself. Older guys who should be setting an example for the rest are advocating blatant unprotected sex, because "guys are gonna have sex." You are the fucking problem and it's fucking disgusting.

    You type "gay forum" into Google and this site is one of the first to come up. So people that may be curious about the gay community or sexual health are gonna be likely to visit here and see some of yall's bullshit. Attacking other members by name? Check. Pushing bareback sex on a younger community? Check. Calling those that seek meaningful and monogamous safe relationships slut-shamers? Check. Basically nitpicking and taking one sentence out of a long thought out post and using that to attack the OP, whoever he may be, and ignore the real issues presented.

    Another problem is the victim blaming complex a lot on here seem to live out. On one of my first threads I described how one of my exes answered a bareback grindr hookup profile and cheated on me with a "hotel visitor." I played detective using the gps built into grindr and tracked him to a hotel by myself. Instead of applauding me for my awesome detective skills, I was called a crazy stalker even though my boyfriend was the one raw dogging some tourist in a seedy hotel. All my fault right?

    Also, people have shamed those who use dating sites or apps. As a matter of fact, and in response to a comment made on my racism/homophobia thread, yes there are those who literally get so many messages that their dating life is reduced to a YES/NO situation. It's not their fault that guys are seeking them out, yet that seems to be the mindset of some on here. Many on here vehemently proved my point that reverse racism is rampant..overlooking the fact that in the straight community, people can say they're into black women, bbws, Asians, etc, and nut a finger is lifted towards those individuals. The mentality and the huge problem is that guys, like some on here, seem to think that you should answer every sexual proposition you receive, and if you don't you're a rude asshole. Very few have even taken into account the biological aspect of not even being able to get an erection by those you're not attracted to, and were just quick to throw the racism and homophobia cards without even thinking. Continue to push your bitterness, self loathing, and unsafe sexual ideologies on others and see how progressive this world becomes. I've more than proved my point that technology has destroyed this culture and caused people yo be literally obsessed with showing off a big ego and being accepted on the internet. Whether it be this forum, OkCupid, Grindr, Scruff or whatever.. we have been reduced to a vapid community rather than being motivated to be unique individuals with varying degrees of talent , passion, races, masculinity/femininity, disease-status, economic statuses, etc.

    You guys have been very helpful, albeit a bit depressing. Thanks
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    Mar 13, 2015 1:57 PM GMT
    So what was your final conclusion? It appears as if your post is just a rant on how terrible everyone is here. but a thesis is supposed to be a scientific study. so what is your thesis on? what conclusions have you come up with? I'd be interested to read at least your abstract.
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    Mar 13, 2015 2:02 PM GMT
    willular saidSo what was your final conclusion? It appears as if your post is just a rant on how terrible everyone is here. but a thesis is supposed to be a scientific study. so what is your thesis on? what conclusions have you come up with? I'd be interested to read at least your abstract.


    Unfortunately the terrible people comment you made is in essence the conclusion I came to.
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    Mar 13, 2015 2:07 PM GMT
    So your conclusion to a master's thesis is that men on realjock.com are terrible? or that gay men in general are terrible? I'm just really trying to find out specifically what you're studying and how you plan to defend this in front of a committee. Because you're going to need to provide a lot of examples.

    I'm no social science expert, my field of study is in physical science, but I know from my own small experience thus far in grad school that you need a lot (A LOT) of evidence to prove everything. and ANYTHING that sounds like an opinion (and not a fact) will get shot down.
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    Mar 13, 2015 2:13 PM GMT
    willular saidSo your conclusion to a master's thesis is that men on realjock.com are terrible? or that gay men in general are terrible? I'm just really trying to find out specifically what you're studying and how you plan to defend this in front of a committee. Because you're going to need to provide a lot of examples.

    I'm no social science expert, my field of study is in physical science, but I know from my own small experience thus far in grad school that you need a lot (A LOT) of evidence to prove everything. and ANYTHING that sounds like an opinion (and not a fact) will get shot down.


    This site was my last area I explored.The topic was how technology and social media destroy gay values and culture. This post on particular was addressing just the members of this site.
  • vjay

    Posts: 22

    Mar 13, 2015 2:18 PM GMT
    Well, you are right about this web page coming up top of list when i typed in guy forums! I am new here, sorry to but in on your "thesis" statement. I am bi/gay and married and confused and i do NOT work out, lol, but i do like my gay and straight friends and so does my wife of 25 years. Don't let labels confuse you. Everyone is the same.

    I am new to the site, did i say that? but will visit it often cause my bf is the silent type. he don't email and when he does it's about two words max.

    ttyl
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 13, 2015 2:28 PM GMT
    So is your conclusion that everybody sucks or just the older guys? Your answer will determine whether I wish you good luck or not.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 13, 2015 2:30 PM GMT
    DefensiveEnd saidSo is your conclusion that everybody sucks or just the older guys? Your answer will determine whether I wish you good luck or not.


    I was referring to senior members in both age and membership length on here, but that was not all inclusive. There have been hateful people of all races and ages on this site.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 13, 2015 2:42 PM GMT
    I've been a member since 2006 so I think I would definitely qualify as one of the older members here. As I recall, I have agreed and supported every post or thread you've ever made. Our personal opinions on pretty much everything seem to match up (except this particular thread.) You say it's the older guys who are trying to convince the younger guys to have bareback sex while conveniently overlooking the fact that myself and other "older" guys have also been the very ones to come down on these guys the hardest. And in actuality it's TWO members that were accused of promoting bareback sex, yet you labeled all older members as supporting this. Not only have you labeled all older guys incorrectly, but you've made yourself look as hypersensitive and reactive as the guys you're bashing.

    So you attack other members for their illogical generalizations by making your own off-base ones. I'm sorry, but even though I agreed with almost all of your opinions, I have to call bullshit on your "thesis." If you're actually telling the truth, please don't go into journalism because you will fail miserably. No serious journalist sets up a social experiment like that and then blasts the people he did the experiment on! icon_lol.gif I had a lot of respect for you until this thread but now it seems you're making up a lie just to seem superior and to make your opinions seem more legit. Very disappointed in you.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 13, 2015 2:42 PM GMT
    Just curious from a sociologist' s point of view what you think of the fact that even though the site is called realjock the only sport a lot of these people participate in is Pazzybashing. What are you going to say about that in your thesis?
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    Mar 13, 2015 2:49 PM GMT
    Radd saidI've been a member since 2006 so I think I would definitely qualify as one of the older members here. As I recall, I have agreed and supported every post or thread you've ever made. Our personal opinions on pretty much everything seem to match up (except this particular thread.) You say it's the older guys who are trying to convince the younger guys to have bareback sex while conveniently overlooking the fact that myself and other "older" guys have also been the very ones to come down on these guys the hardest. And in actuality it's TWO members that were accused of promoting bareback sex, yet you labeled all older members as supporting this. Not only have you labeled all older guys incorrectly, but you've made yourself look as hypersensitive and reactive as the guys you're bashing.

    So you attack other members for their illogical generalizations by making your own off-base ones. I'm sorry, but even though I agreed with almost all of your opinions, I have to call bullshit on your "thesis." If you've actually telling the truth, please don't go into journalism because you will fail miserably. No serious journalist sets up a social experiment like that and then blasts the people he did the experiment on! icon_lol.gif I had a lot of respect for you until this thread but now it seems you're making up a lie just to seem superior and to make your opinions seem more legit. Very disappointed in you.


    Perhaps I'm a reverse troll? Maybe. But I was not seeking respect or superiority in any of my threads including this one. Not yo mention I don't remember seeing you post in any topic I brought up. The bareback sex thing was based on like you said 2 older members on the HIV forum but that was just one example I was using..guess the generalization was a little inappropriate. Because it's certainly a lot more people than the older members who promote that, on this site and on others. As a community there is an OBSESSION with unprotected sex, and that's not an exaggeration. I find that irresponsible and disgusting no matter who it's coming from. Guess it struck a nerve with me since the 2 members you're referring to are also the main ones who trolled/flamed me on the various topics I posted, so I see them as particularly self-loathing individuals in general.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 13, 2015 3:32 PM GMT
    "Reverse troll"?
    -You making that up too?
    You are a straight up troll.
    There is no way this is scientific study of any sort for a master thesis.
    Do you really think we are that stupid.
    You have an axe to grind and you found a forum to do it.
    I'll gladly sign a release form (sure your theses adviser told you you would need them) if you'll provide us with the name of the university you attend; clearly there needs to be an investigation done before they receive any more federal funding.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 13, 2015 4:02 PM GMT
    Interesting.

    Quite frankly your writing skills, use of language, lack of scientific method, lack of objectivity or adequate use of broad enough resources to base a thesis would indicate an individual far from ready, or qualified, to attain a Master's Degree. Honestly you come across as an Individual who is familiar with the concept of a Doctorate without really understanding what it entails.

    How are you able to hand in a paper to a Professor without having Campus Security escort you off the premises?

    As one of the vilified Senior Members, I no longer participate in forums to the degree I once did-- but did address you in the thread about Gay Agenda(s). I don't recall attacking you in any way, although I DO believe you are almost painfully naive and have too limited experience to authoritatively make the broad, sweeping blanket statements and assertions you have.

    Your OP still reads of a scorned lover (I am sorry you had to employ "awesome detective skills" instead of confronting a early romance based on gut instinct, getting a clear answer and moving on) who once caught an std and has yet to develop the maturity or coping skills to adequately process the events that happened TO YOU. While those experiences may have been unfair, or beyond your control, they are just things that happened and ultimately do not define who you are (or may one day become) as a Man.

    They sure as HELL don't define an entire group of people that exists worldwide.

    As someone who has been a member of RJ for the past century or so, I can tell you that the level of education, advice, and caring for younger often confused and isolated Young Men on this site has been outstanding. I have seen enough actual evidence to support that. I also have gotten to know many of these Guys in RL and can vouch not only for their validity but for their true Humanity.

    I am sorry you have had less than a positive experience on RJ or in RL. Both are exactly what you make of them though.

    As a Senior Member not only on RJ but in Life, I feel pretty confident in saying We are NOT a "vapid community." Not by a long shot. Perhaps the one(s) you choose to participate in/with have been, but that says more about you than the Community at large.

    As a man of Science you are probably familiar with the maxim of Quantum Mechanics that asserts an object does not exist until it is observed and will then behave accordingly. Is it a possibility that your powers of observation are somewhat clouded by isolated and somewhat minor-in-the-Grand-scheme experiences? Just wondering.

    I wish you luck in your pursuits - although I am unclear as to what they are. Please feel free to share with Us the notes and comments made by the Review Board when you hand in your thesis.

    THAT should be worth it's weight in gold.

    Carry on and Peace be with you...



  • Destinharbor

    Posts: 4435

    Mar 13, 2015 4:08 PM GMT
    You've tried repeatedly to convince us that you are one thing, then another. In every thread, your thinking was so flawed and offensive that you did get responses but not always what you wanted. I do believe you when you said you were in or had psychotherapy. You certainly still need it. You are not a student in a school writing and clearly not at the graduate level. That is obvious. And these conclusions you have reached are all the product of your confused mind. I read these forums and with the exception of one guy who has disappeared, no one has advocated unprotected sex. And certainly not older guys. We remember death from AIDS. You're sick. Go back on your meds or get some. You need them.
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    Mar 13, 2015 4:12 PM GMT
    Thank you Cash
    now if someone would drop a text to JP, that would make my day--there's more then enough chum in the water.
  • MikemikeMike

    Posts: 6932

    Mar 13, 2015 4:25 PM GMT
    willular saidSo what was your final conclusion? It appears as if your post is just a rant on how terrible everyone is here. but a thesis is supposed to be a scientific study. so what is your thesis on? what conclusions have you come up with? I'd be interested to read at least your abstract.


    Good point and weak response from OP C+ at best!
  • MikemikeMike

    Posts: 6932

    Mar 13, 2015 4:28 PM GMT
    dustin_K_tx said"Reverse troll"?
    -You making that up too?
    You are a straight up troll.
    There is no way this is scientific study of any sort for a master thesis.
    Do you really think we are that stupid.
    You have an axe to grind and you found a forum to do it.
    I'll gladly sign a release form (sure your theses adviser told you you would need them) if you'll provide us with the name of the university you attend; clearly there needs to be an investigation done before they receive any more federal funding.


    Correct Dustin he's a bitter unattractive little fraction of a man and a troll icon_lol.gificon_lol.gif
  • MikemikeMike

    Posts: 6932

    Mar 13, 2015 4:32 PM GMT
    Destinharbor saidYou've tried repeatedly to convince us that you are one thing, then another. In every thread, your thinking was so flawed and offensive that you did get responses but not always what you wanted. I do believe you when you said you were in or had psychotherapy. You certainly still need it. You are not a student in a school writing and clearly not at the graduate level. That is obvious. And these conclusions you have reached are all the product of your confused mind. I read these forums and with the exception of one guy who has disappeared, no one has advocated unprotected sex. And certainly not older guys. We remember death from AIDS. You're sick. Go back on your meds or get some. You need them.


    Well said well done! --End of worthless thread forum.

    I have never had unprotected anal. Even when a few begged for it. I'm a safe always top. I care about my health well being and my fellow man.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 13, 2015 4:39 PM GMT
    He definitely is entitled to his words .
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 13, 2015 4:44 PM GMT
    Thanks for your candor. I'll look for your report in "Psychology Today." If my old, tired eyes can still read, that is. Perhaps you might consider some graduate work in gerontology.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 13, 2015 5:43 PM GMT
    DUDES -- I no longer participate in the forums the way I once did so I am not entirely familiar with the OP or his statements but the ones I HAVE read and responded to seem to be coming from a kid who is not all that bad, just green, rather naive and perhaps debilitatingly isolated.

    He may be nothing more than an amateur troll but I really don't get that impression - even if his thought process is somewhat warped and his statements frequently miss the mark...and the guise of a thesis dissertation is just ...well, 'Nuff said there.

    But if his views DO represent other young, naive, isolated Guys - or even just his own, the Dragons coming out and annihilating him and demanding emergency medical attention and sedation do NOTHING to correct the problem(s) that, like it or not, may exist.

    Try to think back a few centuries when they still thought the world was flat and WE were young, naive kids just trying to find OUR way. We probably sounded even MORE ridiculous.

    I know when I came out at the age of 14 it was the Older Generation that I looked to for some sort of guidance because they had already done it and the truly successful ones were sitting at the table I wanted to be at. Yeah, I took some slack here and there ( a teenaged pretty boy with a ton of attitude and a bank account can be like too much butter and not enough bread) but for the most part I received compassion, understanding and a genuine eagerness to make things easier than they had it and, dare I say, a sense of joy in seeing an up-and-coming generation - especially in the '80s in the face of aids.

    My point is that as the more Senior Generation, WE are TRULY one of the luckiest in history. Not only because We survived the hell and horror of watching death and hatred but because WE came out on the other side. We have money, power, knowledge, experience and freedom that was almost unthinkable in Our Father's time. It wasn't that long ago when a Guy over the age of 35 was expected to be paunchy, jowly, and winded just getting up from the recliner to get another beer from the refrigerator. Now look at US!!!

    Speaking as a Senior Dragon who, when provoked, can breathe fire hotter than all of You combined, WE need to show more compassion and wisdom to statements like the OP.

    Because WE DO know better. If WE, the educated, the experienced simply meet misguided, cancerous thoughts and ideas with more acidic vitriol and venomous epithets, the it is WE who are failing.

    We haven't come this far just to become a bunch muscular hens perched on a fence clucking platitudes and feeding on Our shared hubris.

    We are better than that. It's the reason We survived and got this far.

    RJ has rapidly deteriorated into multiple troll threads where "members" compete to see who can viciously shame and drive others away.

    It's not really getting anyone anywhere.

    We ALWAYS went back and forth but it used to be fun and even the most vicious arguments were usually resolved.

    The kids need to understand that they don't know everything because they have a Grndr' profile and occasionally stop by the Huffington Post and WE need to cut some slack. Save the venom for each other - We have already been around the block and know enough to take for what it is. It's hard for one Dragon to burn another. But to a kid who really doesn't know his ass from a hole in the ground yet (both literally and figuratively), the consequences can be much more profound and deep.

    I have already expressed My feelings in regard to the OP, so I consider that dead horse to be sufficiently beaten.

    But if nothing else it does raise a far bigger and more far reaching question in regard to bridging rather than widening a gap between generations - and races and socio-economic position for that matter.

    OK. I'm done. I will go shopping now and tease the sales clerks in the fitting rooms....

    icon_cool.gificon_cool.gificon_cool.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 13, 2015 5:43 PM GMT
    "The problem seems to lie not with the newer members of this forum, but with the older ones, both in age and seniority.(go ahead and cry ageist without even reading anything else) For so many on here promoting equality, I'd like all of you to scroll down to the HIV discussion forum on the main page and take a look at some of the same members that post on this forum. Won't be trashy and name drop just see for yourself. Older guys who should be setting an example for the rest are advocating blatant unprotected sex, because "guys are gonna have sex." You are the fucking problem and it's fucking disgusting."


    You're a fucking idiot.

    Did you read anything. Do you know what TasP is?
    Look at my most recent post. Even the Pope agrees with Dr. Montaner. (And Dr. Fauci, The CDC, WHO, ACON, Several Nobel Prize recipients, etc. etc.)


    What you call "blatant unprotected sex" is in fact protection. The CDC calls it "condomless sex". Unprotected sex is not condomless sex anymore.

    There are now at least five strategies that reasonably constitute‘safe sex’,provided that certain parameters are met.
    They are:
    1.The use of Condoms during casual encounters between men of unknown or discordant serostatus.
    2.HIV negative men taking effective pre-exposure prophylaxis (PrEP).
    3.Men living with HIV who only have sex without condoms when they have a sustained undetectable viral load (UVL) and in the absence of sexually transmissible infections (STIs).
    4.Effective use of serosorting between HIV positive men.
    5.Effective negotiated safety agreements.

    http://www.acon.org.au/sites/default/files/What-is-Safe-Sex-Position-2014.pdf
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 13, 2015 5:53 PM GMT
    timmm55 said"The problem seems to lie not with the newer members of this forum, but with the older ones, both in age and seniority.(go ahead and cry ageist without even reading anything else) For so many on here promoting equality, I'd like all of you to scroll down to the HIV discussion forum on the main page and take a look at some of the same members that post on this forum. Won't be trashy and name drop just see for yourself. Older guys who should be setting an example for the rest are advocating blatant unprotected sex, because "guys are gonna have sex." You are the fucking problem and it's fucking disgusting."


    You're a fucking idiot.

    Did you read anything. Do you know what TasP is?
    Look at my most recent post. Even the Pope agrees with Dr. Montaner. (And Dr. Fauci, The CDC, WHO, ACON, Several Nobel Prize recipients, etc. etc.)


    What you call "blatant unprotected sex" is in fact protection. The CDC calls it "condomless sex". Unprotected sex is not condomless sex anymore.

    There are now at least five strategies that reasonably constitute‘safe sex’,provided that certain parameters are met.
    They are:
    1.The use of Condoms during casual encounters between men of unknown or discordant serostatus.
    2.HIV negative men taking effective pre-exposure prophylaxis (PrEP).
    3.Men living with HIV who only have sex without condoms when they have a sustained undetectable viral load (UVL) and in the absence of sexually transmissible infections (STIs).
    4.Effective use of serosorting between HIV positive men.
    5.Effective negotiated safety agreements.

    http://www.acon.org.au/sites/default/files/What-is-Safe-Sex-Position-2014.pdf


    Call me a fucking idiot then expect me to read your articles? No thanks. What do some of the members here do for a living? It's like a bitter retirement community. How about some common sense bud. There is fecal matter inside your rectum. Scores of bacteria and flora. You are the fucking idiot for skirting around information to support your horrible risky lifestyle. Not everyone has the same bacteria in their body. No matter how much medication you take you're not going to avoid parasites, viruses, and infections without protection. There are so many more organisms out there than the typical common STDs that it's unfathomable. You are the problem with the negative health aspects of the gay community, you're reckless, and I hope not a single person takes anything you say serious for the sake of their lives.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 13, 2015 5:58 PM GMT
    GMS1988 said
    timmm55 said"The problem seems to lie not with the newer members of this forum, but with the older ones, both in age and seniority.(go ahead and cry ageist without even reading anything else) For so many on here promoting equality, I'd like all of you to scroll down to the HIV discussion forum on the main page and take a look at some of the same members that post on this forum. Won't be trashy and name drop just see for yourself. Older guys who should be setting an example for the rest are advocating blatant unprotected sex, because "guys are gonna have sex." You are the fucking problem and it's fucking disgusting."


    You're a fucking idiot.

    Did you read anything. Do you know what TasP is?
    Look at my most recent post. Even the Pope agrees with Dr. Montaner. (And Dr. Fauci, The CDC, WHO, ACON, Several Nobel Prize recipients, etc. etc.)


    What you call "blatant unprotected sex" is in fact protection. The CDC calls it "condomless sex". Unprotected sex is not condomless sex anymore.

    There are now at least five strategies that reasonably constitute‘safe sex’,provided that certain parameters are met.
    They are:
    1.The use of Condoms during casual encounters between men of unknown or discordant serostatus.
    2.HIV negative men taking effective pre-exposure prophylaxis (PrEP).
    3.Men living with HIV who only have sex without condoms when they have a sustained undetectable viral load (UVL) and in the absence of sexually transmissible infections (STIs).
    4.Effective use of serosorting between HIV positive men.
    5.Effective negotiated safety agreements.

    http://www.acon.org.au/sites/default/files/What-is-Safe-Sex-Position-2014.pdf


    Call me a fucking idiot then expect me to read your articles? No thanks. What do some of the members here do for a living? It's like a bitter retirement community. How about some common sense bud. There is fecal matter inside your rectum. Scores of bacteria and flora. You are the fucking idiot for skirting around information to support your horrible risky lifestyle. Not everyone has the same bacteria in their body. No matter how much medication you take you're not going to avoid parasites, viruses, and infections without protection. There are so many more organisms out there than the typical common STDs that it's unfathomable. You are the problem with the negative health aspects of the gay community, you're reckless, and I hope not a single person takes anything you say serious for the sake of their lives.


    Well, I guess this just negates everything I wrote above...so, never mind....

    Hence why I no longer really participate very much in forums.

    icon_neutral.gificon_neutral.gificon_neutral.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 13, 2015 6:01 PM GMT
    What a dumb fuck! You say: " You are the fucking problem and it's fucking disgusting."

    You can't understand if you don't know. And you won't.

    24 posts and you are now an expert? Christ!
    TasP and ART have saved millions of lives and prevented millions of new HIV infections.

    Condoms too, among the other 5 strategies. I give you an "F".