Teen shares the horrifying messages his dad sent him when he came out

  • metta

    Posts: 39104

    Mar 15, 2015 6:43 PM GMT
    Teen shares the horrifying messages his dad sent him when he came out

    Tyler_snip12.jpg


    http://www.pinknews.co.uk/2015/03/14/teen-shares-the-horrifying-messages-his-dad-sent-him-when-he-came-out/



    http://www.huffingtonpost.ca/2015/03/13/vancouver-teen-comes-out-dad-response_n_6859974.html
  • tazzari

    Posts: 2936

    Mar 15, 2015 6:58 PM GMT
    His Dad's view, then, is that it's all about him. Pathetic.
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    Mar 16, 2015 8:56 PM GMT
    Sad the teen escalated the situation. What did he hope to accomplish by embarrassing his father? I remember when my youngest brother came out and my parents reaction wasn't all that exemplary; however, within two or three months time estrangement from my brother they came to realize he was the same son they had always loved and didn't want him out of their lives. Their relationship picked back up from where they left off and they had even welcomed his partner into their home and made him one of the family. They are closer than ever. I doubt this would have been the outcome had my brother decided to humiliate them further by publishing words said in hurt or anger.

    In my opinion, teen acted childishly and imprudently.
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    Mar 16, 2015 9:23 PM GMT
    ^^I agree. I can't understand why people air family matters on social media. It just escalates the situation and makes people even more resentful. He's given his dad another reason to reject him. It's quite possible his dad could've come around over time.
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    Mar 16, 2015 10:04 PM GMT
    And these same self-righteous, selfish pigs people wonder why so many gay young men look to older men for affection and understanding. Sheesh!
  • davfit

    Posts: 309

    Mar 16, 2015 10:10 PM GMT
    the word "noe" will give you an idea of education level and also the content.. as if gay is a choice..but the dad has every right to be upset..why kids feel they need to come out is beyond me .. it serves no purpose
  • Sportsfan1

    Posts: 479

    Mar 16, 2015 10:27 PM GMT
    This unfortunate young man needs and deserves all of our love and support. His so called father is the one with the problem. It is this kind of sad individual that does not deserve to be a father. He should love his son regardless of anything. His son showed courage to come out to his family probably knowing that this would be the response. The young man has nothing to be ashamed of. On the other had that so called "father" should be the one embarrassed. Shame on the "father".
  • DJEsco_

    Posts: 80

    Mar 16, 2015 10:29 PM GMT
    davfit saidthe word "noe" will give you an idea of education level and also the content.. as if gay is a choice..but the dad has every right to be upset..why kids feel they need to come out is beyond me .. it serves no purpose


    Noe? The letters W and E are together on the keyboard, so my educated assumption is a typo. Also, a 15 year old has every right to have a boyfriend. Most straight people that age are looking for boyfriends or girlfriends. So yes it does serve a purpose. Maybe the kid shouldnt have aired his dad out on social media but then again he wouldnt have had to if thr dad's reaction was different.
  • blueandgold

    Posts: 396

    Mar 17, 2015 12:43 AM GMT
    You know... what his dad did was awful and ignorant. But surely if this kid is mature enough to report his story to the world, he recognizes that simple fact? He knows that his dad is going to look like an idiot and and bigot in front of the entire world.

    No matter my parents' reaction... they still raised me and fed me and wiped the shit off my ass when I was a baby. I could never embarrass them like this. I'd feel hurt, sure. But mostly I'd feel bad for him.

    Kind of ashamed of this kid for his actions. They're pretty selfish. I hope you like the attention it garnered you, buddy, embarrassing your father in front of the whole world. If you know better than him try to have a little grace about it.



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    Mar 17, 2015 3:26 AM GMT
    pazzy said
    UndercoverMan saidSad the teen escalated the situation. What did he hope to accomplish by embarrassing his father? I remember when my youngest brother came out and my parents reaction wasn't all that exemplary; however, within two or three months time estrangement from my brother they came to realize he was the same son they had always loved and didn't want him out of their lives. Their relationship picked back up from where they left off and they had even welcomed his partner into their home and made him one of the family. They are closer than ever. I doubt this would have been the outcome had my brother decided to humiliate them further by publishing words said in hurt or anger.

    In my opinion, teen acted childishly and imprudently.


    newsflash. he's still a kid. you're acting like he's a grown ass man.


    I realize he's still a kid. I'm entitle to comment on how childish his behavior was. Which it was. I imagine he's a prissy little drama queen who's enjoying his fifteen minutes of fame at the cost of distancing his parents even further.

    I can't applaud his behavior.

    Even a fifteen year old knows "Do unto others..."

    Also: Can you post a single comment without using a single vulgarity or are you so steeped in filth it's not even second nature but your actual nature?
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    Mar 17, 2015 6:05 AM GMT
    MGINSD saidAnd these same self-righteous, selfish pigs people wonder why so many gay young men look to older men for affection and understanding. Sheesh!


    I know! Keep 'em comin' dads!
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    Mar 17, 2015 2:49 PM GMT
    I'm sorry to piss some people off - but "Dad" (shorter to type than male person who just happened to be your progentitor and take care of you up until now" deserves everything he got and will get.

    A "Father" loves his child whether or not his child's choices agree with his personal preferences.

    A "Father" will stand up to the world and point out to anyone who acts as a bigot that they were fine with his child up until that point, so apparently him being gay wasn't a problem - it was them *knowing* about it - which means the problem is with them.

    A "Father" will not be defining his love of his child based on the rules contained in a 2000-year old, often badly translated, over-edited-by-grumpy-old-men book that is full of other rules and constraints that he happily ignores because they don't bother him.

    If somebody has the audacity to tell me to get out of their life, to stay away, I will comply wholeheartedly - and make sure that they *never* want to change their mind - because I certainly won't change mine about their actions.

    Why do these people who insist that "God" could have prevented this realize that "God" - their favorite all-powerful, all-knowing being, knew this would happen, and let it happen. God doesn't make mistakes, right? So when he makes someone who is Gay, it's on purpose, right? So God apparently *wants* this boy to be gay - *maybe* it's to teach his parents a thing or two about what love really is.

    Doctor9
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    Mar 17, 2015 4:29 PM GMT
    UndercoverMan said
    pazzy said
    UndercoverMan saidSad the teen escalated the situation. What did he hope to accomplish by embarrassing his father? I remember when my youngest brother came out and my parents reaction wasn't all that exemplary; however, within two or three months time estrangement from my brother they came to realize he was the same son they had always loved and didn't want him out of their lives. Their relationship picked back up from where they left off and they had even welcomed his partner into their home and made him one of the family. They are closer than ever. I doubt this would have been the outcome had my brother decided to humiliate them further by publishing words said in hurt or anger.

    In my opinion, teen acted childishly and imprudently.


    newsflash. he's still a kid. you're acting like he's a grown ass man.


    I realize he's still a kid. I'm entitle to comment on how childish his behavior was. Which it was. I imagine he's a prissy little drama queen who's enjoying his fifteen minutes of fame at the cost of distancing his parents even further.

    I can't applaud his behavior.

    Even a fifteen year old knows "Do unto others..."

    Also: Can you post a single comment without using a single vulgarity or are you so steeped in filth it's not even second nature but your actual nature?


    Hmmm...you sure are quick imagine the kid as awful. Have you tried imagining what kind of stresses the kid may be under as well?
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    Mar 17, 2015 5:04 PM GMT
    meninlove said
    UndercoverMan said
    pazzy said
    UndercoverMan saidSad the teen escalated the situation. What did he hope to accomplish by embarrassing his father? I remember when my youngest brother came out and my parents reaction wasn't all that exemplary; however, within two or three months time estrangement from my brother they came to realize he was the same son they had always loved and didn't want him out of their lives. Their relationship picked back up from where they left off and they had even welcomed his partner into their home and made him one of the family. They are closer than ever. I doubt this would have been the outcome had my brother decided to humiliate them further by publishing words said in hurt or anger.

    In my opinion, teen acted childishly and imprudently.


    newsflash. he's still a kid. you're acting like he's a grown ass man.


    I realize he's still a kid. I'm entitle to comment on how childish his behavior was. Which it was. I imagine he's a prissy little drama queen who's enjoying his fifteen minutes of fame at the cost of distancing his parents even further.

    I can't applaud his behavior.

    Even a fifteen year old knows "Do unto others..."

    Also: Can you post a single comment without using a single vulgarity or are you so steeped in filth it's not even second nature but your actual nature?




    Hmmm...you sure are quick imagine the kid as awful. Have you tried imagining what kind of stresses the kid may be under as well?


    Yes, because I was there once myself and never dreamed of embarrassing the man who raised me, fed me, put a roof over my head, educated me, clothed me, protected me, etc. Was my dad perfect? No. Did I think he was the biggest a-hole at times? Yes. Would I have intentionally embarrassed him? NEVER!

    You're a religious man, you know one of the Ten Commandments is "Honor your mother and father." There is no proviso in the commandment excusing you from not doing so if they fall short of your expectations. There's nothing in the commandment that makes it contingent on their shortcomings.

    In my opinion he is an awful ingrate. If he matures, he will come to be ashamed of what he's done.

    Edit: No, he's not an awful ingrate. He's just a self-centered, immature kid. At least he has that excuse. The father does not. However, I still maintain that going public with private messages was not helpful at all. And the blame for that rests solely in the kid's court.
  • bobbobbob

    Posts: 2812

    Mar 17, 2015 5:30 PM GMT
    My gosh the boy was 15. He's still operating with a immature impulsive brain that won't develop an adult capacity for reasoning until he's at least 22. Don't project mature adult behavior on him or any teen that age or you'll be disappointed 80% of the time.

    As for the father's reaction, it's just an example of the very typical ways ignorant religiously dominated heterosexuals resort to irrationality when confronted with something like a gay son.

    By the way, many parents of gay children like to create a narrative with them as never having had any suspicion their child was gay. Bullshit. Talking to them in depth about it they will all start seeing he "clues" they chose to ignore in order to maintain their own illusions about a child.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 17, 2015 5:46 PM GMT
    bobbobbob saidMy gosh the boy was 15. He's still operating with a immature impulsive brain that won't develop an adult capacity for reasoning until he's at least 22. Don't project mature adult behavior on him or any teen that age or you'll be disappointed 80% of the time.

    As for the father's reaction, it's just an example of the very typical ways ignorant religiously dominated heterosexuals resort to irrationality when confronted with something like a gay son.

    By the way, many parents of gay children like to create a narrative with them as never having had any suspicion their child was gay. Bullshit. Talking to them in depth about it they will all start seeing he "clues" they chose to ignore in order to maintain their own illusions about a child.



    I understand the kid is young and will make mistakes in life but the role of adults is to point those mistakes out and help the youth learn a better way to behave. Now I know that the boy probably doesn't read these forums and may never see anything I post but there are others that might and it's never a bad thing to point out that there might just be a better way to handle yourself. While you might not always win by taking the high road, you will most certainly lose by taking the low one. And it's for certain that you will never lose your self respect by taking the high road.

    I agree with you on the parents point. Unless they have their heads buried in the sand, a parent knows or suspects. Any parent who says they had no idea is either deluding themselves or were just to self absorbed to notice what was going on with their kid.