Intimacy Between Strangers Can Be Accelerated. Here's How.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 19, 2015 1:51 AM GMT
    NYT: A study explores whether intimacy between two strangers can be accelerated by having them ask each other a specific series of personal questions. The idea is that mutual vulnerability fosters closeness.

    Now you can try it out using a free mobile app, designed in consultation with Arthur Aron, the lead author of the study. Visit nytimes.com/36q on your phone or tablet to get started. You’ll want a partner (friend, lover or stranger) and about 50 minutes.

    http://www.nytimes.com/2015/02/13/style/the-36-questions-on-the-way-to-love.html?ref=fashion
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 19, 2015 4:01 AM GMT
    Pfft... That's what beer is for. icon_rolleyes.gif

  • Mar 19, 2015 10:57 AM GMT
    A lot of conceptual art is about said topic

    I'd reckon it's a radical act of queering
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 19, 2015 2:31 PM GMT
    Considering how most of our encounters via speech in life with other people almost never leads to intimacy, I think that's a pretty accurate study. I almost habitually shut off a little bit the more I get to know someone if we haven't had anything sexual yet.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 19, 2015 3:02 PM GMT
    mindgarden saidPfft... That's what beer is for. icon_rolleyes.gif

    LOL! Actually true, along with bar chat. You break the ice by making a comment about the TV program, whether news, sports, or entertainment, or maybe share an observation about something or someone around you.

    If he seems interested in talking you move the conservation into personal matters. You nurse your drink (or switch to sodas) because nobody is attracted to slurred speech and fuzzy thinking, and you wanna be on the top of your game, mentally and in appearance.

    One of my abilities is quick witticisms - you keep him laughing, smiling and enjoying himself and your company. And you're also evaluating him as no doubt he's evaluating you, to decide if this has potential. Maybe you discover the guy is really a jerk, or already has a BF/partner, and you take it no further.

    But if you like him and he's available, before the night's out you've got this stranger in bed (safe sex only, you don't know his health status). Worked for me many times. Maybe I'll never see him again, or maybe we'll start dating. Started one of my LTRs that way. But regardless of the day after, tonight you got yourself some sex. So this study is no surprise to me, I developed my own version of it 20 years ago.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 19, 2015 3:16 PM GMT
    mindgarden saidPfft... That's what beer is for. icon_rolleyes.gif

    Another comment about that: at the Minneapolis (Mpls) Eagle there used to be a sign next to the bar register: DRINK TILL HE'S CUTE. They eventually took it down, maybe a liability thing.

    But then I found a half-size bumper sticker for sale that had the same saying, at the giant annual Sturgis motorcycle rally in south Dakota, of all places. It was just the right size for my motorcycle saddle's backrest, where I displayed it for several years. Interestingly, nobody ever hassled me about it, nor all the gay pride items I had on that bike, nor the ones before it. And the bikes were never vandalized, either, or the items stolen or defaced.