How important is sex in your relationship?

  • AnonymousNYC

    Posts: 60

    Mar 20, 2015 6:34 AM GMT
    I've heard in the past "all you want is sex" but the insecurity in me feels rejected when not constantly ripping my significant other's clothes off.
    How often should sex happen?
    Keep in consideration: Friends around, Don't live together
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 20, 2015 10:21 AM GMT
    In honeymoon phase: 2-3 times a day
    After honeymoon phase: Once a week is enough
  • DJEsco_

    Posts: 80

    Mar 20, 2015 1:26 PM GMT
    Thats quite a drastic change. Im trying to work this out in my relationship right now. Im not banging as often as id like. But imo 4 times a week would be great. With the occassional day where we hit it twice in 24 hours
  • madsexy

    Posts: 4843

    Mar 20, 2015 3:07 PM GMT
    Geeezzz you guys - and I thought I was average because my fiancé and I still fuck suck and everything else like crazed rabbits every chance we get. I can't remember the last time we didn't get off together in a day and usually more than once. If that's post-honeymoon-future - the once a week or only a few times a week - I am glad we haven't scheduled the wedding yet! icon_eek.gif
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    Mar 20, 2015 3:45 PM GMT
    I was just joking icon_biggrin.gif
    Why do you even need to ask such questions? People have different sexual appetite. On normal days, I can survive with sex once a day, whereas my ex was a horndog who could have had sex at least 3 times a day. We still had a healthy sex life. So if you feel horny and your partner may not be reciprocating, jerking out one won't do much harm.
    Lack of reciprocation doesn't mean your bf doesn't find you attractive. It's just he isn't as sexual as you are. I remember my ex even waking up in the middle night but I just couldn't get into it because when I sleep only an earthquake would make me move. He knew that I am not as much of horndog as he is, and he was fine with it.
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Mar 20, 2015 3:49 PM GMT
    I think it's something you have to work though as a couple.
    I tend to want it more at times than at others. I think sex is much like ones habits and personality. You either accept what he is like and needs or you don't.
  • Destinharbor

    Posts: 4433

    Mar 20, 2015 4:03 PM GMT
    HndsmKansan saidI think it's something you have to work though as a couple.
    I tend to want it more at times than at others. I think sex is much like ones habits and personality. You either accept what he is like and needs or you don't.

    ...and you try to make sure he's happy even at some sacrifice to yourself if there's a gap. You both do. Marriage isn't 50/50. It's 80/80. Willingly.

    But to answer your question, I heard someone say a long time ago, sex is 20% of a relationship when it's working, 80% when it's not. I think there's some truth to that. Sex bonds you in a way that nothing else can. And it gives you a sense of security within the partnership that you and your guy are "good." Everyone wants to feel needed and sexy. How often you do it is a blending of both needs in general and also of the moment. And a generous helping of (what I call) sport sex thrown in just for fun. Couples who laugh together stay together.
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    Mar 20, 2015 4:16 PM GMT
    Destinharbor said

    I heard someone say a long time ago, sex is 20% of a relationship when it's working, 80% when it's not.



    This.
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    Mar 20, 2015 9:09 PM GMT
    I enjoy sex immensely but I require intimacy more. I need to be touched, held, caressed, kissed, etc. outside of the sex act. Then when my man and I have sex it's earth shattering because we are intimate outside the bedroom as well. Sex without intimacy is just getting off. Sex with intimacy is the best.
  • Import

    Posts: 7190

    Mar 20, 2015 9:24 PM GMT
    it's the only fuckin thing that makes it worth staying in
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    Mar 21, 2015 2:34 AM GMT
    What is the point of being gay if you aren't practicing gay sex regularly? Regularly being daily if young and weekly if old.
  • CX838

    Posts: 100

    Mar 21, 2015 3:41 AM GMT
    A fresh relationship would be anytime welcome. After honeymoon period would be everyone duties
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    Mar 21, 2015 4:44 AM GMT
    I'd say very important. Like 4-5 times a week?? Lol, Vanilla sex sorta bores me. I'm a little kinky and like surprises.
  • isuflyboy

    Posts: 363

    Mar 21, 2015 4:57 AM GMT
    I have a huge sex drive and I've gone 3 times from 10pm-5am every night for a week with my ex, but I'm also 20 and in college sooo, I'm always ready
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    Mar 21, 2015 7:07 AM GMT
    UndercoverMan saidI enjoy sex immensely but I require intimacy more. I need to be touched, held, caressed, kissed, etc. outside of the sex act. Then when my man and I have sex it's earth shattering because we are intimate outside the bedroom as well. Sex without intimacy is just getting off. Sex with intimacy is the best.

    This.
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    Mar 21, 2015 10:24 AM GMT
    Wow, I feel lame next to all of you guys. My bf and I used to have sex 2-4 time per week in the beginning. Then 1-2 per week after the first year.
  • montrel

    Posts: 1

    Mar 21, 2015 6:37 PM GMT
    Then you R lucky, I am single and not gettin any because I am a stranger in a new City. Don't really know or trust too many yet.
  • conservativej...

    Posts: 2465

    Mar 21, 2015 10:42 PM GMT
    Well ..... when there are children in the house, you worry a whole lot less about the frequency of sex. icon_wink.gif It then becomes a matter of QUALITY. Not a bad deal.
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    Mar 21, 2015 10:49 PM GMT
    huhwhat saidWow, I feel lame next to all of you guys. My bf and I used to have sex 2-4 time per week in the beginning. Then 1-2 per week after the first year.


    My ex complained to his friends that I always wanted "sexo." Lol

    If how often you and your BF have sex is sufficient for the both of you then there's no reason to feel lame. It's not a competition.
  • oldfart

    Posts: 328

    Mar 22, 2015 3:19 AM GMT
    Sometimes we do it several times a day, sometimes seems like everyday (we like that too) and then it can be several weeks we get distracted or exhausted from other projects . No discernable pattern. Our rule: if feels good, do it.
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    Mar 22, 2015 10:37 AM GMT
    I have this friend in 40s who had a boyfriend in 60s. His bf was such a horndog, that my friend had to stay at his office late so that he could avoid fucking him for few hours.icon_lol.gif
    I am not sure how much of this is true, but bottoms do seem to be ever ready for sex.
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    Mar 22, 2015 11:57 AM GMT
    My BF and I have been together for about 2+1/2 years now... and been living together for almost the past fully year. We still wake up every morning with head... at least. Evenings after work, I'd say 3x a week or so there's some more sexytimes.

    I don't know if I'd call it a "focus" but we are both very sexual creatures, and it think it just comes naturally to how we live our lives at home.
  • AnonymousNYC

    Posts: 60

    Mar 22, 2015 2:03 PM GMT
    Now im jealous