Guys who say they are "masc" until...

  • wesv

    Posts: 907

    Mar 21, 2015 1:27 AM GMT
    ...you meet them in person.

    I've met guys who think they were so "straight acting." It's embarrassing when they can't live up to what they say.

    How do you feel about this? Any personal stories?
  • Destinharbor

    Posts: 4435

    Mar 21, 2015 1:38 AM GMT
    It's kind of sad if they're still in the closet thinking no one knows and afraid. Otherwise, it's just kind of funny. You can harass them and really piss them off. If they don't have a sense of humor, we won't get along anyway.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 21, 2015 1:59 AM GMT
    When you read a profile..

    "Masculine, straight acting, muscular, alpha male, enjoys gym and running, leather, motorcycles, beer"

    When you meet them in person..

















    tumblr_m62pmgBsuo1r13tm3o1_1280.jpg
  • Rhi_Bran

    Posts: 904

    Mar 21, 2015 4:03 AM GMT
    xrichx saidWhen you read a profile..

    "Masculine, straight acting, muscular, alpha male, enjoys gym and running, leather, motorcycles, beer"

    When you meet them in person..


    tumblr_m62pmgBsuo1r13tm3o1_1280.jpg


  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 21, 2015 4:08 AM GMT
    There's a lot of that out there. But it's really no different than any other delusional self images people have. It's just like the fat chicks who think they're svelt.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 21, 2015 4:10 AM GMT
    My favorite cringe worthy profile quotes..

    "Not into femmes. If I wanted to fuck a chick, I'd fuck one."
    "We're not a match if a handbag comes flying out of your mouth when you speak."
    "Not into the gay scene."
    "I'm 100% top."
  • BloodFlame

    Posts: 1768

    Mar 21, 2015 5:02 AM GMT
    Yeah, it's kinda true. I think for the most part, masculine gay men do exist but I don't think they'd try to let everyone know how masculine or "straight acting" they are in their profiles.

    I'm pretty sure that they do this so they can attract other "straight acting" guys but tend to get really judgmental on said straight acting guy who isn't a cookie-cutter actual straight guy. They may as well just go to a Gym or something and try to get it on with straight men, maybe there are some who are secretly bisexual?

    I don't know, I just think some of these guys try too hard. My brother, who is gay ran into this problem. He tried to find "straight acting" men in the past and he would be displeased that they didn't "act straight." So yep, to me, a lot of these men who feel the need to claim how masculine they are, tend to not be as masculine as they think.
  • wesv

    Posts: 907

    Mar 21, 2015 6:16 AM GMT
    xrichx saidMy favorite cringe worthy profile quotes..

    "Not into femmes. If I wanted to fuck a chick, I'd fuck one."
    "We're not a match if a handbag comes flying out of your mouth when you speak."
    "Not into the gay scene."
    "I'm 100% top."


    Never heard the second one before.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 21, 2015 10:34 AM GMT
    He is Masc until:

    1. He buys t-shirts two sizes too small so that His nipples will show.

    2. He considers nipple plastic surgery for reasons NO ONE can really explain.

    3. He understands the meaning of "a purse falling out of Your mouth."

    4. He shoots the Sherrif but REFUSES to shoot the Deputy.

    5. The above reference has relevance.

    6. Has had a SERIOUS conversation with His Mother about eyeliner.

    7. Does that thing to make Himself look hung even tho He's not...

    8. Bakes

    9. Hangs out with a HOT Dude in a leather jacket with a scar on His cheek and STILL orders a vodka stinger ...

    10. Comes up with 10 reasons a Dude may not be Masc.
  • MikemikeMike

    Posts: 6932

    Mar 21, 2015 10:41 AM GMT
    Rhi_Bran said
    xrichx saidWhen you read a profile..

    "Masculine, straight acting, muscular, alpha male, enjoys gym and running, leather, motorcycles, beer"

    When you meet them in person..


    tumblr_m62pmgBsuo1r13tm3o1_1280.jpg




    Hahaha
    That guy is Nikki Man aage! icon_lol.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 21, 2015 2:26 PM GMT
    Tell me about it. I'm not anti-feminine at all. But IN GENERAL, having a masculine personality takes more effort and discipline than many understand. You learn that from other straight guys. There is a degree of stress that goes with it. You feel the same core emotions (joy, pain, guilt.. etc.) as everyone else but you're programmed to perceive and react to it all in a different way. Its not about saying "bro" and wearing your baseball cap backwards while drinking beer (that's "insecure frat guy personality disorder" lol). It's also not about having a minimalist communication style... (that's intimacy issues).
  • peterstrong

    Posts: 989

    Mar 21, 2015 3:00 PM GMT
    ok there's some real funny ones here - Cash is always
    a riot, but let's get real

    U r NOT MASCULINE if.....

    You don't wear long johns or a hat in the late fall, winter, and early spring and then complain that its too cold out for you to do any more walking, biking, hiking, skiing, or being outside.

    You complain about the cold and want the heat set higher because u don't want to wear sweaters and a hat indoors either in the wintertime.

    Your unused hiking boots and sleeveless flannel shirts are mere props for your "fierce" gay bar masc persona.

    Every other adjective or adverb out of your mouth is "fabulous" or some sort of derivative of that.

    If you don't understand that 'being' masculine is not about acting or trying to speak in a voice that's not your own / lol

    The pic of the blond wigged gay clown diva sums it up best : ) Nothing wrong with guys who want to be like that but recognize it for what it is - pure silliness.

    As u can tell from what i wrote here - some guys who mite call themselves masc, are just house poodles : )
    perception vs. reality



  • Destinharbor

    Posts: 4435

    Mar 21, 2015 4:39 PM GMT
    One of the first guys I ever "met" on the internet WAY back was a guy in the UK. Met on Gaydar. We chatted online for years and years and he was a nice, serious guy with pretty standard masculine attitudes and interests and habits. Then one day he called me on the phone. I couldn't believe it. He had the most stereotypical gay sing-song voice I'd ever heard outside of the media. Nothing he said, just the way he talked. lol And he was closeted. I started to tell him he should come out immediately because there was no doubt that everyone he knew already knew he was gay just by the voice. But I didn't. He's still closeted. But that closet door is wide open.
  • Svnw688

    Posts: 3350

    Mar 21, 2015 6:20 PM GMT
    Masculinity is a social construct. Four hundred years ago men were masculine if they wore makeup, wigs, high heels, lace, and fluffy clothes.

    I don't put much stock in masculinity one way or another. It's all socially constructed notions of what a male 'ought' to be like, act like, and dress like. There's nothing inherent about it, save maybe that males have more hair than women.


    422px-Louis_XIV_of_France.jpg
  • BloodFlame

    Posts: 1768

    Mar 21, 2015 7:23 PM GMT
    Svnw688 saidMasculinity is a social construct. Four hundred years ago men were masculine if they wore makeup, wigs, high heels, lace, and fluffy clothes.

    I don't put much stock in masculinity one way or another. It's all socially constructed notions of what a male 'ought' to be like, act like, and dress like. There's nothing inherent about it, save maybe that males have more hair than women.


    422px-Louis_XIV_of_France.jpg


    it's funny how times have changed over the centuries but you're right. I just think you should be who you are, whether masculine, feminine, or in between. It's all a matter of how you personally feel. If more people were just honest with themselves and not trying so hard to be something they know they aren't, it'd be more mentally easier. That's why I try to be honest about myself. It may not result in a lot of interest from the same sex but it's better than leading someone on and disappointing them haha.

    I have to wonder though. Is this kind of "masc" thing an American phenomenon or is it like this outside the states as well? (Not including places like the Africa or the Middle East since LGBT is still taboo).
  • Eli_jah

    Posts: 1391

    Mar 21, 2015 9:17 PM GMT
    woodfordr saidTell me about it. I'm not anti-feminine at all. But IN GENERAL, having a masculine personality takes more effort and discipline than many understand. You learn that from other straight guys. There is a degree of stress that goes with it. You feel the same core emotions (joy, pain, guilt.. etc.) as everyone else but you're programmed to perceive and react to it all in a different way. Its not about saying "bro" and wearing your baseball cap backwards while drinking beer (that's "insecure frat guy personality disorder" lol). It's also not about having a minimalist communication style... (that's intimacy issues).


    Hmm. I think I get what you're saying, but I'd like you to elaborate. I think this way of "reacting" that you are referring to is common with black men (even more so), we are socialized differently. Do you mean that we are expected to be more stoic, because I would agree wholeheartedly.
  • ThatSwimmerGu...

    Posts: 3755

    Mar 21, 2015 9:21 PM GMT
    Reminds me of a guy I met... He was like "I am not out, I cannot be outed wither so please please keep it quiet"..
    In person he was so gay that I really don't think anybody would have a hard time figuring out that he is gay.
  • Eli_jah

    Posts: 1391

    Mar 21, 2015 9:26 PM GMT
    Svnw688 saidMasculinity is a social construct. Four hundred years ago men were masculine if they wore makeup, wigs, high heels, lace, and fluffy clothes.

    I don't put much stock in masculinity one way or another. It's all socially constructed notions of what a male 'ought' to be like, act like, and dress like. There's nothing inherent about it, save maybe that males have more hair than women.


    422px-Louis_XIV_of_France.jpg


    That was a sign of nobility more than anything. The average male peasant would obviously not be dressed like that.

    But I get your point, and gender is definitely constructed, and a performance above all.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 21, 2015 10:59 PM GMT
    Get enough "straight acting, masculine" gays together and they somehow magically transform into raging queens. I've observed this phenomenon sooooooo very often - even in a leather bar.
  • YBNB

    Posts: 28

    Mar 21, 2015 11:06 PM GMT
    UndercoverMan saidGet enough "straight acting, masculine" gays together and they somehow magically transform into raging queens. I've observed this phenomenon sooooooo very often - even in a leather bar.


    Thats a site I might need to see then. That would be hilarious.

    But I guess how someone defines masculanity is all up to the person. Mainly I guess in the gay world it means being a gym bro and being able to talk about sports and slinging back beers. However the one thing I find most hilarious about "straight-acting" men is most of them are bottoms. I mean go figure. And the guys that are mostly feminine are tops. icon_confused.gif
  • conservativej...

    Posts: 2465

    Mar 21, 2015 11:06 PM GMT
    Same guy? Yes or no?

    One masculine versus one feminine but in reality the same guy.

    photo SameGuy_zpsnmsjombb.jpg
  • Beeftastic

    Posts: 1747

    Mar 21, 2015 11:51 PM GMT
    If being masculine takes effort and conscious choices, you are not masculine, you are ACTING masculine. That's kind of why whenever the word comes up in gay convos, I just roll my eyes.

    So many gay guys spend incredible energy pretending they are masculine, and most seem to believe their own bullshit, and also seem to only surround themselves with other similarly self-deluded guys. Then they act like douche bags to anyone that won't play their game because it's incredibly important to them that no one point it out or act differently. Because this cracks their own delusions just a little bit. God forbid that a guy justs acts naturally and accepts their basic selves!

    Me, I like naturally masculine guys, and I like guys that roll the other way too. I don't have much time for the faux masculine guys. I'll fuck em, but I won't spend time with them.
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    Mar 22, 2015 3:41 AM GMT
    I tend to avoid guys to emphasize that, because they usually take themselves far too seriously and aren't a lot of fun. You either have a trait or you don't, so trying to put on an act is a fail.
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    Mar 22, 2015 3:58 AM GMT
    Can't stand it when a profile says

    "only into other guy's guys"

    like wtf does that mean?!
    yes I like cock too? icon_biggrin.gif
  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    Mar 22, 2015 4:19 AM GMT
    Let's face it ... the world is full of delusional people. What we see inwardly is seldom what the world see outwardly. I've met a lot men that think they are masculine and actually think that no one can clue in that they are gay. The first couple of times I got a somewhat miffed look on my face and blurted out something like, 'ya right!', or 'you're kidding ... right?'. They get all butt hurt, so I've learned my lesson that they do seriously believe it. Now I just keep a straight and let them keep deluding themselves. Then later when I am by myself I burst out laughing.