Constantly getting rejected

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 24, 2015 12:47 AM GMT
    Why does the gay world have to be harsh? Just got turned down by two guys that messaged me.. Conversation went well and when I sent them face pics they stop the conversation all together. I'm not a model, but I don't think I'm ugly either.. I know I'm not be everyone's cup of tea but constantly getting turned does start to wear down ones confidence.. It just makes me feel like a worthless piece of shit. I'm not looking for attention or anyone to pity me,, just wanted to vent out my frustrations.
  • SilverRRCloud

    Posts: 875

    Mar 24, 2015 6:33 AM GMT
    You are posting your face pic here, and are probably not hiding it from other portals either? If you do not happen to be someone's cup of tea, they should not talk to you in the first place. It's a free world, and they are free to look for the guys who they like.

    Quite a few guys out there belong to specific cliques, and being a member of one, really means that you subscribe to the same idea of who is hot and who is not. Sure, this is mindless, but that's how such groups function. If you do dare to challenge their ideals of desirability they will turn their backs on you, because you cease to be one of them.

    Try to talk to the genuinely single guys who are not members of the popular bunches, and who do not allow other people to dictate them the taste in male beauty.

    Judging by the pix in your profile, I cannot see why would anyone want to turn you down. Sure, if they are into dating the 5 top male models of the world, you may not fit into their search. But for the rest of the gay world out there, you are a prime catchicon_biggrin.gif

    SC
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 24, 2015 2:46 PM GMT
    SilverRRCloud saidYou are posting your face pic here, and are probably not hiding it from other portals either? If you do not happen to be someone's cup of tea, they should not talk to you in the first place. It's a free world, and they are free to look for the guys who they like.

    Quite a few guys out there belong to specific cliques, and being a member of one, really means that you subscribe to the same idea of who is hot and who is not. Sure, this is mindless, but that's how such groups function. If you do dare to challenge their ideals of desirability they will turn their backs on you, because you cease to be one of them.

    Try to talk to the genuinely single guys who are not members of the popular bunches, and who do not allow other people to dictate them the taste in male beauty.

    Judging by the pix in your profile, I cannot see why would anyone want to turn you down. Sure, if they are into dating the 5 top male models of the world, you may not fit into their search. But for the rest of the gay world out there, you are a prime catchicon_biggrin.gif

    SC


    People like me!!!icon_biggrin.gif
  • Destinharbor

    Posts: 4435

    Mar 24, 2015 3:43 PM GMT
    Ya gotta toughen up and not take it personally. You're right. It's not your looks. It sounds like you do not have pics posted on whatever site you were messaged on. Guys like what they like and it has to do with a lot more than just whether you're cute. I know I have no idea whether I'm attracted to a guy by just his torso though I can admire the torso. Attraction is a funny thing. Just know that they know nothing about you. So don't get invested in their reaction.
  • toastvenom

    Posts: 1020

    Mar 24, 2015 6:08 PM GMT
    dude
    fags are fickle, they'll shoot u down if u got a bad hair day. know that being "shot down" by dudes who display such fickleness is a blessing and not a curse. imagine what their personalities must be like if they only sum up who they hang out with and fuck soley based on how big ur chest is? or how chiseled ur face is. u deserve better than that. fuck 'em.
  • NeuralShock

    Posts: 411

    Mar 24, 2015 10:30 PM GMT
    Toastvenom saiddude
    fags are fickle, they'll shoot u down if u got a bad hair day. know that being "shot down" by dudes who display such fickleness is a blessing and not a curse. imagine what their personalities must be like if they only sum up who they hang out with and fuck soley based on how big ur chest is? or how chiseled ur face is. u deserve better than that. fuck 'em.

    9938384888% THIS ^^^^^^^^^^^^
    Listen to this advice!
  • Tig3r

    Posts: 139

    Mar 25, 2015 1:06 AM GMT
    Don't worry guy, I have been told that I am pretty attractive by beautiful girls (I work in "Fashion"), and yet most guys I find attractive just ignore me. Then I realize that I drive a Sports-Coupe, live alone, have amazing friends, travel whenever I can; I don't need crappy people in my life.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 25, 2015 3:09 AM GMT
    Youre handsome so I don't think there's anything wrong with how you look. I would sugguest try finding guys outside of the cyber world. People(gay or straight) don't care if they come off rude online, that's just the reality of it. Thats why I try not to care that much when I get rejected by someone online. To me it's worse to walk up to a guy in a bar and get rejected lol
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 25, 2015 3:35 AM GMT
    I use to struggle with this a lot. I literally felt like something was wrong with me. Something I couldn't figure out. Pissed me the Fuck off. Being rejected constantly. It's when I learned to let that go, I was able to achieve better things and better people. Confidence is key, evenif it is over text and pictures.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 25, 2015 4:23 AM GMT
    Face pics can be deceiving.... Some people just look better in person, and some people look better on camera. Maybe send your face pic when you initiate the convo so that way you don't waste your time? I hope that doesn't sound harsh, it's not meant to be. Heck I don't even have a face pic on here. icon_neutral.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 25, 2015 6:08 AM GMT
    You guys are right,, I just need to get used to it,, sometimes I take the cyber world seriously and that could play a role. Thanks for the replies everyone.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 25, 2015 6:12 AM GMT
    Toastvenom saiddude
    fags are fickle, they'll shoot u down if u got a bad hair day. know that being "shot down" by dudes who display such fickleness is a blessing and not a curse. imagine what their personalities must be like if they only sum up who they hang out with and fuck soley based on how big ur chest is? or how chiseled ur face is. u deserve better than that. fuck 'em.


    You hit the nail on the head, I'm starting to see that especially on the gay apps.
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    Mar 26, 2015 8:49 AM GMT
    Gay guys in general, a lot of them are just flaky or mean or judgmental...etc. There are some good guys out there though. I don't hit on guys often, but once in a while, yes I do get rejected. Everybody gets rejected one time or another. Now this may sound strange but when I feel sad or lonely, rejected whatever....I just take a couple of selfies/tank tops or shirtless beach photos and put it on Instagram. Lol having the likes and comments would boost my ego back up immediately, And I think :**Hm, damn there are many people/guys out there who think I'm a hottie, even models dudes in Europe !! There's this guy in France kept liking my photos, I'm stalking his ISG too ... LOL **. But yeah anyway, Yes, it's about self-confidence and I suggest that you should make good friends first then date seriously. And cheer up!!
  • BloodFlame

    Posts: 1768

    Mar 26, 2015 5:19 PM GMT
    GameOver saidFace pics can be deceiving.... Some people just look better in person, and some people look better on camera. Maybe send your face pic when you initiate the convo so that way you don't waste your time? I hope that doesn't sound harsh, it's not meant to be. Heck I don't even have a face pic on here. icon_neutral.gif


    So true there lol. Some people are just photogenic but look a lot better in person. That's how I certainly feel, it's rare when I take a face picture I like but I feel I'm okay in person.
    Anyway OP, I think we can all relate but it's just a part of the game sadly. We all get rejected. If you don't have your face pic up on other sites, maybe it'll help if you post it or like the above comment, just send it first and go from there.

    Don't give up OP. icon_smile.gif
  • Goodluckyman

    Posts: 104

    Apr 03, 2015 6:19 PM GMT
    If you have your face here, then I do not see how someone would contact you then back off again later.

    The truth of the matter is that different people are attracted to different things.

    You had better get rejected early than someone trying to put up with you if they dont like you. I personally believe that he who rejects you because of your looks is just shallow and may not deserve you. In fact he is saving you from trouble ahead.

    Most people here are more into physical than anything else (which is justified but not quite what it is supposed to be)

    Be patient and continue presenting "you". If you have anything to improve in the meantime, go ahead for example going to the gym to improve your phyical looks and stay healthier. But as a rule do not struggle to change too much change to be liked or appreciated. He who loves you, will love every version of you.

    If someone says "you are not my type" or ignores you, then they are right-they are not your type and they do not deserve you.

    Keep smiling and stay happy and positive-it turns out well in the end.

    Best,
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 03, 2015 6:34 PM GMT
    Even outside of the Gay world, people online generally tend to be fickle. This should be a happy story about how you managed to avoid two guys who were only interested in your body.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 03, 2015 9:03 PM GMT
    Goodluckyman saidIf you have your face here, then I do not see how someone would contact you then back off again later.

    The truth of the matter is that different people are attracted to different things.

    You had better get rejected early than someone trying to put up with you if they dont like you. I personally believe that he who rejects you because of your looks is just shallow and may not deserve you. In fact he is saving you from trouble ahead.

    Most people here are more into physical than anything else (which is justified but not quite what it is supposed to be)

    Be patient and continue presenting "you". If you have anything to improve in the meantime, go ahead for example going to the gym to improve your phyical looks and stay healthier. But as a rule do not struggle to change too much change to be liked or appreciated. He who loves you, will love every version of you.

    If someone says "you are not my type" or ignores you, then they are right-they are not your type and they do not deserve you.

    Keep smiling and stay happy and positive-it turns out well in the end.

    Best,


    Great post, and this line is very very true, "But as a rule do not struggle to change too much change to be liked or appreciated. He who loves you, will love every version of you."
  • bobbobbob

    Posts: 2812

    Apr 03, 2015 9:23 PM GMT
    Soccerboi saidWhy does the gay world have to be harsh? Just got turned down by two guys that messaged me.. Conversation went well and when I sent them face pics they stop the conversation all together. I'm not a model, but I don't think I'm ugly either.. I know I'm not be everyone's cup of tea but constantly getting turned does start to wear down ones confidence.. It just makes me feel like a worthless piece of shit. I'm not looking for attention or anyone to pity me,, just wanted to vent out my frustrations.


    Okay... we'll rearrange the entire universe, spin the earth backwards and make an exception just for you.

    NO ONE CAN REJECT or TURN DOWN SOCCERBOI.
    WHATEVER SOCCERBOI WANTS SOCCERBOI GETS.


    Rejection?
    Where did you get the idea that you're getting more of it than anyone else?

    The problem isn't that you're being rejected "so often." The problem is that you're being pretty immature about it. You better get used to rejections and things generally not going the way you want because there's a lot more of it ahead of you. Start learning to take the punches and move on like a big boy and stop acting like a whiney little boy about not getting a good prize out of claw machine at the pizza parlor.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 04, 2015 1:16 AM GMT
    I agree with a bunch of what the guys in this thread are getting at, where gay men can be flaky, rude, and judgmental. I was in another thread here were some guy was saying fat people are pretty much worthless and going to die anyway, however when looking at his pictures, he wasn't all that either, and had no reason to talk about being desired.

    All in all I can say is that, you pretty much dodge bullets when people like that show their true colors early on, instead of leading you on and wasting your time.
  • Goodluckyman

    Posts: 104

    Apr 04, 2015 6:53 AM GMT
    Varus saidI agree with a bunch of what the guys in this thread are getting at, where gay men can be flaky, rude, and judgmental. I was in another thread here were some guy was saying fat people are pretty much worthless and going to die anyway, however when looking at his pictures, he wasn't all that either, and had no reason to talk about being desired.

    All in all I can say is that, you pretty much dodge bullets when people like that show their true colors early on, instead of leading you on and wasting your time.



    I like this statement, very important......"All in all I can say is that, you pretty much dodge bullets when people like that show their true colors early on, instead of leading you on and wasting your time."

    You can imagine if it comes up after you have invested in every way...emotionally, physcally, economically etc.

    One truth we rarely see is that friendship/love is an investment like any other and when it breaks, we lose beyond emotional loss which is what most people consider.

    The time you may have done something better with youself was spent on someone who never quite liked you.....oh my!!

    Chatting is not free, you pay for it but we never quite count such costs as the total cosst of friendship/love. The opportunity cost(what you would have had during all the time the time you struggled to make it work), all these are important.

    I love to be ignored at the beginning tan at the end or midway...I may not even notice it since I feel full of positive energy.

    Count it all joy that they do not let you go too far before they produce that danger card my dear.

    Best,
  • bobbobbob

    Posts: 2812

    Apr 04, 2015 9:16 AM GMT
    Varus saidI agree with a bunch of what the guys in this thread are getting at, where gay men can be flaky, rude, and judgmental. I was in another thread here were some guy was saying fat people are pretty much worthless and going to die anyway, however when looking at his pictures, he wasn't all that either, and had no reason to talk about being desired.

    All in all I can say is that, you pretty much dodge bullets when people like that show their true colors early on, instead of leading you on and wasting your time.


    A thread by some guy saying fat people are pretty much worthless and going to die anyway?

    WHO ON EARTH WOULD BE THAT RUDE AND INCONSIDERATE????

    It must have been on some other web site because there's no member of RJ in their right mind who'd do something that bigoted, hypocritical and mean!!!!!


    photo-3_zps0r21nkde.jpg
  • AnonymousNYC

    Posts: 60

    Apr 04, 2015 3:54 PM GMT
    U is kind, u is smart, u is important