How comfortable are you with feminity in gay men ??

  • Matthew56

    Posts: 392

    Mar 24, 2015 8:12 AM GMT
    Are you comfortable being around other gay men that are very feminine or effeminate? Could you even have with a relationship with a man that talks in a high pitched camp voice and waves his hand around like a teenage girl?

    Or are you not as you see it as setting gay men back and furthering the effeminate stereotype that still surrounds gay men
  • venue35

    Posts: 4644

    Mar 24, 2015 1:44 PM GMT
    You know that this has been discussed a million before troll
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 24, 2015 2:13 PM GMT
    Been there, done that, got the blouse.
  • venue35

    Posts: 4644

    Mar 24, 2015 2:39 PM GMT
    The waves his hand around like a teenage girl quote was a cute attempt tho..
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 24, 2015 6:01 PM GMT
    Yes. Yes. And I don't see them as setting us back. I want someone who is secure in themselves. Fem bashing is a turn off.
  • bobbobbob

    Posts: 2812

    Mar 24, 2015 7:19 PM GMT
    Matthew56 saidAre you comfortable being around other gay men that are very feminine or effeminate? Could you even have with a relationship with a man that talks in a high pitched camp voice and waves his hand around like a teenage girl?

    Or are you not as you see it as setting gay men back and furthering the effeminate stereotype that still surrounds gay men


    I like the novel idea of not worrying about it, treating people as equals until they themselves make that impractical by creating bullshit issues like this one.
  • fitartistsf

    Posts: 638

    Mar 24, 2015 7:32 PM GMT
    No. I'm not comfortable around effeminate men... if I wanted to hang around with women I would, I don't like it in men... why do some men have to be more female than a female? I understand that effeminate men were at the forefront of the gay rights movement during, and after the Stonewall riots 45 years ago, but today there is no need to be effeminate to be out...
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 24, 2015 7:37 PM GMT
    fitartistsf saidNo. I'm not comfortable around effeminate men... if I wanted to hang around with women I would, I don't like it in men... why do some men have to be more female than a female? I understand that effeminate men were at the forefront of the gay rights movement during, and after the Stonewall riots 45 years ago, but today there is no need to be effeminate to be out...

    Why do gay men suck cock or take it in the ass? Aren't woment supposed to do that? I understand you can't control your abnormality, but today there is no need to be sucking a cock or taking up your ass. How about you just be a man and go fuck a woman?
  • dave85

    Posts: 14

    Mar 24, 2015 7:38 PM GMT
    Ew
  • DJEsco_

    Posts: 80

    Mar 24, 2015 7:38 PM GMT
    Lol. Straight men are feminine too. My bf told me he was super masc before we met in person. After his second beer on the first date he started acting more naturally and a slightly feminine side came out. I noticed it but kept going. I thought it was an interesting little twist. Just take people for who they are. Not all feminine gay men do it purposely, its just who they are.
  • DJEsco_

    Posts: 80

    Mar 24, 2015 7:39 PM GMT
    __morphic__ said
    fitartistsf saidNo. I'm not comfortable around effeminate men... if I wanted to hang around with women I would, I don't like it in men... why do some men have to be more female than a female? I understand that effeminate men were at the forefront of the gay rights movement during, and after the Stonewall riots 45 years ago, but today there is no need to be effeminate to be out...

    Why do gay men suck cock or take it in the ass? Aren't woment supposed to do that? I understand you can't control your abnormality, but today there is no need to be sucking a cock or taking up your ass. How about you just be a man and go fuck a woman?


    Well said!
  • buddycat

    Posts: 1874

    Mar 24, 2015 8:09 PM GMT
    fitartistsf saidNo. I'm not comfortable around effeminate men... if I wanted to hang around with women I would, I don't like it in men... why do some men have to be more female than a female? I understand that effeminate men were at the forefront of the gay rights movement during, and after the Stonewall riots 45 years ago, but today there is no need to be effeminate to be out...


    I am sure there are those that would say the same about you like "why you have to have sex with other men? It is not natural". Same type of mentality you are exhibiting. I am sure that many people would not want to deal with your internalized homophobia and over-compensation anyhow.
  • roadbikeRob

    Posts: 14345

    Mar 24, 2015 9:10 PM GMT
    fitartistsf saidNo. I'm not comfortable around effeminate men... if I wanted to hang around with women I would, I don't like it in men... why do some men have to be more female than a female? I understand that effeminate men were at the forefront of the gay rights movement during, and after the Stonewall riots 45 years ago, but today there is no need to be effeminate to be out...
    Thank you. It is these femmes that are giving the rest of us gay men the negative stereotype of limp wristed, sex addicted sissies. Men are supposed to be masculine. Don't give me this same old song and dance about Stonewall 45 years ago. That was back than, this is now. I am not comfortable around effeminate men and I would much rather avoid them.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 24, 2015 9:18 PM GMT
    Jitz627 saidYes. Yes. And I don't see them as setting us back. I want someone who is secure in themselves. Fem bashing is a turn off.


    Yep.
  • roadbikeRob

    Posts: 14345

    Mar 24, 2015 9:27 PM GMT
    meninlove said
    Jitz627 saidYes. Yes. And I don't see them as setting us back. I want someone who is secure in themselves. Fem bashing is a turn off.


    Yep.
    WRONGicon_exclaim.gif These femmes are setting us back because of the negative stereotype that all us gay men are getting among mainstream society and don't give me that nonsensical internalized homophobia bullshit. That is definitely not the case.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 24, 2015 9:45 PM GMT
    roadbikeRob said
    meninlove said
    Jitz627 saidYes. Yes. And I don't see them as setting us back. I want someone who is secure in themselves. Fem bashing is a turn off.


    Yep.
    WRONGicon_exclaim.gif These femmes are setting us back because of the negative stereotype that all us gay men are getting among mainstream society and don't give me that nonsensical internalized homophobia bullshit. That is definitely not the case.


    lol, bullshit in spades and aces. Effeminate attributes in men have been around, and quite public, longer than you've been alive. Your real beef is with the media that focuses solely on effeminate gays because it sells to the tabloid crowd of haters, and people who are looking for sensationalism and outrageousness.

    From what you're saying, you wish to bow down to the screwball bible thumpers and hide the fems so you'll get your equal rights.

    Surprise, it wouldn't matter if all the US gays were knuckle draggin cavemen, or butch beyond belief beefcakes. The ones you wish to impress only see butt fuckers and dink lickers. That won't change no matter what kind of gay man you present them with.

    Sheesh, Rob, this is pretty basic stuff.
  • roadbikeRob

    Posts: 14345

    Mar 24, 2015 10:04 PM GMT
    meninlove said
    roadbikeRob said
    meninlove said
    Jitz627 saidYes. Yes. And I don't see them as setting us back. I want someone who is secure in themselves. Fem bashing is a turn off.


    Yep.
    WRONGicon_exclaim.gif These femmes are setting us back because of the negative stereotype that all us gay men are getting among mainstream society and don't give me that nonsensical internalized homophobia bullshit. That is definitely not the case.


    lol, bullshit in spades and aces. Effeminate attributes in men have been around, and quite public, longer than you've been alive. Your real beef is with the media that focuses solely on effeminate gays because it sells to the tabloid crowd of haters, and people who are looking for sensationalism and outrageousness.

    From what you're saying, you wish to bow down to the screwball bible thumpers and hide the fems so you'll get your equal rights.

    Surprise, it wouldn't matter if all the US gays were knuckle draggin cavemen, or butch beyond belief beefcakes. The ones you wish to impress only see butt fuckers and dink lickers. That won't change no matter what kind of gay man you present them with.

    Sheesh, Rob, this is pretty basic stuff.
    How the hell do you know what these so called haters really thinkicon_question.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 24, 2015 10:57 PM GMT
    Personally, I don't care if I'm represented by effeminate gay men in the media. If one feels like it's an issue, there are better ways of handling it than throwing others under the bus.

    I know genuine masculine gay men, and they don't feel threaten by effeminacy. When I see gay men fem bashing, their masculinity ceases to be authentic. It's masc-drag. Our society values masculinity. It takes strength to be fem.

    With that said, I have a jiu-jitsu class to drive to. I'll make sure to blare Lady Gaga in my car for all the macho gay guys.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 24, 2015 11:01 PM GMT
    I think what's setting us back is people trying to dictate how gay men should behave, and this mentality that femininity in gay men should be no longer acceptable. Gay men acting like girls or divas or whatever may not appeal to everyone, but it's not a threat to us. Homophobia is.

    If you heard that a couple of gay guys who people perceived as "fem" were victims of a homophobic attack, would you be horrified and saddened to hear that? Or, would you think "they deserved to be attacked for acting girly" ? Because it's basically excusing people who do discriminate against homosexuals, and giving them the power and the right to vocally and physically abuse others based on sexuality.
  • Antarktis

    Posts: 213

    Mar 24, 2015 11:36 PM GMT
    I don't know any women who act like teenager girls.
  • bishop65

    Posts: 226

    Mar 24, 2015 11:57 PM GMT
    Very. Viva la difference.
  • BloodFlame

    Posts: 1768

    Mar 25, 2015 1:04 AM GMT
    As a guy who is androgynous (in the sense I acknowledge my masculine and feminine traits but I do lean slightly on the fem). I adjusted to it years ago.

    As for other feminine gay men, it all boils down to if I get along with them. For example, if we're talking about the catty, "diva" acting types of gay men, I don't think so.But a guy who is soft, maybe into fashion, more sweet in nature, etc. yes, I wouldn't mind hanging out and being friends.

    And about the feminine gay guy giving gay people a bad reputation. How stupid. You should stand for yourself.If you're really that self-conscious about the stereotypes, well, I don't know what to tell you other than get over it. There are stereotypes for everything. Just be your own person, whether masculine or feminine or in between.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 25, 2015 1:04 AM GMT
    No I would not be into a relationship with Liberace.I have no problems with fem gay men but I prefer them in small doses not 7 days a week,lol
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 25, 2015 1:18 AM GMT
    Relationship wise? Probably not.

    Socially? Yes.
  • Hurley615

    Posts: 8

    Mar 25, 2015 1:21 AM GMT
    Besides the obvious..being gay..I don't really have that much in common with fem guys, nor would I be in a relationship with one. That's a personal preference, and I think people should respect that and not be so quick to label others homophobic.

    I think that some fems do purposely exaggerate themselves in public, especially when drunk, around large groups, or intoxicated by other things, but I don't think they set us back as a culture..some guys are just naturally fem.