Wife finds husband on Grindr, turns to internet for hugs and advice

  • metta

    Posts: 39155

    Mar 25, 2015 5:54 AM GMT
    Wife finds husband on Grindr, turns to internet for hugs and advice


    - See more at: http://www.gaystarnews.com/article/wife-finds-husband-grindr-turns-internet-hugs-and-advice240315
  • Rene_Aensland

    Posts: 2495

    Mar 25, 2015 6:04 AM GMT
    That's so fucked up.
    No one on Earth should ever go through that.
  • MikeW

    Posts: 6061

    Mar 25, 2015 7:06 AM GMT
    WTF was she doing on Grindr?

    Not that straight women have never discovered their husbands were doing guys on the DL before but, why should we believe this story is even true? Could be true but my troldar senses are tingling.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 25, 2015 9:31 AM GMT
    IF it is true then that husband is a real dick head.
    How can you be okay to lie that long to that degree to someone whom you have children and come home to everyday?
    That's so selfish no matter what reason is behind it.
    There is no justification for lying like this.

    If you feel you're gay, then whatever talk about it to your wife but don't sleep behind her back and make excuses or outright deny without having anything to show for it.
    This affects the ENTIRE FAMILY, what an asshole thing to do.
    She does deserve better, what a waste of space that guy is.

    Again that's if this article is in fact true.
    Still even if this article isn't true, I'm sure there have been cases of this actually happening and those "husbands" are sickening.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 25, 2015 6:00 PM GMT
    MikeW saidWTF was she doing on Grindr?

    Not that straight women have never discovered their husbands were doing guys on the DL before but, why should we believe this story is even true? Could be true but my troldar senses are tingling.


    My 2 closest female friends have been on the app just to see if they recognize anyone on it. Could just be out of boredom, I suppose.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 25, 2015 6:29 PM GMT
    poor guy
    guess he never heard of RealJock.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 25, 2015 7:02 PM GMT
    dustin_K_tx saidpoor guy
    guess he never heard of RealJock.



    +1
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 25, 2015 7:59 PM GMT
    'Cant help wishing I was still in the dark but that is no way to live. Why could he not face up to his sexuality?' she asked.

    Curiosity killed the cat.

    So he likes a little dick or ass every now and again. Bitch, get over yourself. Everything isn't always about you. Enjoy your husband and allow him some man-on-man time. You don't own him. Just insist he gets a regular fuck buddy, that he practices safe sex, and is tested regularly. Also, insist he wear a condom when you have sex with him. PreP may also be thrown in the mix.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 25, 2015 10:23 PM GMT
    DryMoan saidIF it is true then that husband is a real dick head...sickening...waste of space


    I won't bother finishing the quote.

    But don’t be so quick to judge others.

    Here’s the bottom line: You just don’t know.

    You just don’t know what’s going on in another person’s life.

    You just don’t know the entire situation and the circumstances that are involved.

    You just don’t know what’s going on in another person’s head.

    As humans we instinctively gather as much information as we can about a person. And based on that information, which is akin to the size of a small puzzle piece, we try to construct the entire jigsaw puzzle of that person using only that small puzzle piece. You can’t. You just can’t do that.

    Let me be clear: Lies and cheating can't be condoned. But don't ever think that life is as black and white as your summary judgement of the person is. Maybe he is a coward. And maybe he's a victim of a life of religious or social pressure that made him completely deny his nature. I can think of at least a dozen reasons why an otherwise great dude might find himself in this situation, and be so deep into it that finding his way out seems an impossible hurdle. Especially without help and support.

    Congratulations on being such a well-adjusted individual, it's why you can't feel empathy for this person. But I believe that he MAY deserve sympathy and a support structure that will help him sort himself out. Help him stop the lies and cheating.

    Or maybe he's simply a dickhead and a waste of space. Point is: We just don't know.

  • Apparition

    Posts: 3529

    Mar 26, 2015 2:32 AM GMT
    cheaters can just die.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 26, 2015 2:36 AM GMT
    Apparition saidcheaters can just die.
    And they will...as will non-cheaters.

    In the meantime, have sex and be happy. icon_biggrin.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 26, 2015 4:17 AM GMT
    David,
    Very thoughtful response. Really good to read it.
    Keep up your comments!


    David_Lauderdale said
    DryMoan saidIF it is true then that husband is a real dick head...sickening...waste of space


    I won't bother finishing the quote.

    But don’t be so quick to judge others.

    Here’s the bottom line: You just don’t know.

    You just don’t know what’s going on in another person’s life.

    You just don’t know the entire situation and the circumstances that are involved.

    You just don’t know what’s going on in another person’s head.

    As humans we instinctively gather as much information as we can about a person. And based on that information, which is akin to the size of a small puzzle piece, we try to construct the entire jigsaw puzzle of that person using only that small puzzle piece. You can’t. You just can’t do that.

    Let me be clear: Lies and cheating can't be condoned. But don't ever think that life is as black and white as your summary judgement of the person is. Maybe he is a coward. And maybe he's a victim of a life of religious or social pressure that made him completely deny his nature. I can think of at least a dozen reasons why an otherwise great dude might find himself in this situation, and be so deep into it that finding his way out seems an impossible hurdle. Especially without help and support.

    Congratulations on being such a well-adjusted individual, it's why you can't feel empathy for this person. But I believe that he MAY deserve sympathy and a support structure that will help him sort himself out. Help him stop the lies and cheating.

    Or maybe he's simply a dickhead and a waste of space. Point is: We just don't know.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 26, 2015 4:22 AM GMT
    most of the men here who are defending the stupid husband are those who have done it or are doing it.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 26, 2015 4:53 AM GMT
    This shouldn't be news at all! Open the app and you'll probably see tons of married guys on there...usually the headless torsos or blank profiles.
  • Rene_Aensland

    Posts: 2495

    Mar 26, 2015 7:30 AM GMT
    UndercoverMan said'Cant help wishing I was still in the dark but that is no way to live. Why could he not face up to his sexuality?' she asked.

    Curiosity killed the cat.

    So he likes a little dick or ass every now and again. Bitch, get over yourself. Everything isn't always about you. Enjoy your husband and allow him some man-on-man time. You don't own him. Just insist he gets a regular fuck buddy, that he practices safe sex, and is tested regularly. Also, insist he wear a condom when you have sex with him. PreP may also be thrown in the mix.



    AAAAA HA HA HA HAAA!
    I <3 This.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 26, 2015 1:35 PM GMT
    One more thing about the response to this: I sense some major double-standards on this thread. It's like you people think it's worse that he's obviously closeted gay or bisexual. He deserves no more or less judgement than he would if he was screwing women on the side. In fact, I would argue that it would be even worse -- at lease in his case, we can say that it's possible the cheating is a symptom of a larger personal issue. That is, he may not be a cheater by nature. If he came out of the closet and met a man, he may never cheat again. None of us know enough to say for sure. But think about it before applying a double standard and calling this guy stupid, cowardly, a dickhead or whatever else you can come with.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 26, 2015 2:45 PM GMT
    David_Lauderdale saidOne more thing about the response to this: I sense some major double-standards on this thread. It's like you people think it's worse that he's obviously closeted gay or bisexual. He deserves no more or less judgement than he would if he was screwing women on the side. In fact, I would argue that it would be even worse -- at lease in his case, we can say that it's possible the cheating is a symptom of a larger personal issue. That is, he may not be a cheater by nature. If he came out of the closet and met a man, he may never cheat again. None of us know enough to say for sure. But think about it before applying a double standard and calling this guy stupid, cowardly, a dickhead or whatever else you can come with.

    There is no double standard here. A cheater should be condemned, closeted, heterosexual or not. Trying to make the man look like the victim when the real victim is the poor woman is bit hypocritical. I haven't seen an iota of sympathy from your side for the woman. From your posts, it seems you were once in the man's shoes. May be, try to empathize with the poor woman. Have you checked out the forum where she posted. Even after she confronted the guy, he is denying it. How about just be a man and let the poor woman out of this miserable marriage. Here:
    womanHello. Hands shaking. Today I found my DH on Grindr.Without a doubt it is him. Posing in our ensuite bathroom. Confronted him. Says it is not him but refuses to let me see his phone. He is refusing to talk to me. Two children. 7 and 10. I am 43. Dont know what to do. Please some advice.

    WomanI downloaded the app. Low and behold up he appears. His message was beyond crude - that he would be ebegetic for a nice ass and that he wants to learn new tricks. . Feel sick. And why cant he just admit it. Tried to take a photo but it didnt work. We had sex on Saturday. We laugh. He telks me he loves me. I will have to go to GUM clinic.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 26, 2015 3:28 PM GMT
    No, __morphic__ I don't cheat. I haven't cheated. But yes I've been closeted and been with women who didn't know. And I've known many who have. Did I ever say his cheating should be justified? Did I ever say I had no sympathy for the woman?

    And yet, I'm capable of being sympathetic to the man's issue as well. If I were his friend and he confided in me, I wouldn't call him a stupid dickhead coward waste of space. I would tell him first and foremost, gotta stop the cheating. It's wrong, it's unfair, it's hurtful, and I'm not going to keep talking to him if he insists on continuing the cheating.

    And then I'd start talking to him about the larger issue of his sexuality. I'd find out why he kept it hidden for so long. I'd ask him questions and let him know I'm not judging him for it. I'd offer him support.

    As I said, I've met guys in his situation — one right here on this site. He was also hooking up and deceiving his wife. I spoke to him every day by text, email and on the phone. He stopped cheating, he came out to his wife and then to his friends and family. He's now got a partner and is living very happily and open. He isn't stupid, isn't a terrible person, or a waste of space. He's a great guy whose background set him on the wrong path and was struggling to change his course.

    I'm aware it's a complex issue. You, however, don't seem capable of comprehending it — so your brain simplifies it by casting generalizations, calling names, making assumptions and propping yourself up on a pedestal.

    Guess what? I have sympathy for you as well.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 26, 2015 10:42 PM GMT
    David_Lauderdale saidNo, __morphic__ I don't cheat. I haven't cheated. But yes I've been closeted and been with women who didn't know. And I've known many who have. Did I ever say his cheating should be justified? Did I ever say I had no sympathy for the woman?

    .........


    When I said you were in his shoes, I didn't imply you cheated. I was implying that you might have been in the closet married with a woman living an unhappy life.

    Cheaters are just cheater, which doesn't make them a useless component of the society. They have a character flaw which is damaging for those with whom they might have been involved. I am not crucifying them, but my sympathy will always be with one who got cheated. I have seen how much damage it can do to the other partner, whereas the cheater just moves on to someone else. I have yet to see some cheater getting damaged to the extent the one who got cheated gets.

    The one who gets cheated on really struggles with trusting the future partners, which in turns makes it hard for them to have a healthy relationship. Your friend may not have been the bad guy, but I doubt the woman on whom he cheated has as much of happy life as he seems to be having.

    One of the reasons why my ex is ex because he had hard time trusting me given how his ex cheated on him. No amount of assurance for him was enough. He did love me and I loved him, but I felt like I am on a constant watch. I didn't like that feeling at all.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 27, 2015 5:03 AM GMT
    This is fucked up but it's not that surprising.

    If you want a good laugh then all you need to do is just go to Craigslist. The amount if dl guys that are married that post there is ridiculous.

    I'm only slightly surprised that a few folks here are defending this dude. I guess it's true what they say. Cheaters support cheaters.
  • metta

    Posts: 39155

    Mar 27, 2015 5:38 AM GMT
  • Dazza73

    Posts: 23

    Mar 27, 2015 10:57 AM GMT
    Ha sucked in ! Who's the unstable one in the relationship , the old saying goes don't put your dick in something that you shouldn't be
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 27, 2015 1:08 PM GMT
    Guy101 saidThis is fucked up but it's not that surprising.

    If you want a good laugh then all you need to do is just go to Craigslist. The amount if dl guys that are married that post there is ridiculous.

    I'm only slightly surprised that a few folks here are defending this dude. I guess it's true what they say. Cheaters support cheaters.



    You're from Alaska. Lol.

    Lolololol


  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 27, 2015 4:40 PM GMT
    Guy101 saidThis is fucked up but it's not that surprising.

    If you want a good laugh then all you need to do is just go to Craigslist. The amount if dl guys that are married that post there is ridiculous.

    I'm only slightly surprised that a few folks here are defending this dude. I guess it's true what they say. Cheaters support cheaters.


    I agree in that I was shocked people would defend this guy.
    It's almost so easy to tell who are the cheaters or those who use examples like this to justify open relationships based on these kind of responses.

    To cheat is to DECIDE to cheat, you can't say something FORCED you to cheat because any decision made is of free will.
    If he WANTED to be honourable, at least openly communicate and worst case scenario ending the relationship would have been better than cheating.
    You could have a million reasons why you feel like you WANT to cheat, but that is a WANT and not a HAVE TO.
    Cheating is not a solution to anything and justifies nothing.

    I don't understand how people think sex is separate from honouring your partner or that it is separate from having a committed marriage.
    If people DECIDE to commit, then commit. If you want to fuck around then DON'T commit, or at the very least don't devalue your family or your partner by cheating.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 27, 2015 4:49 PM GMT
    A friend of mine (straight and a little in the dark) works for a major cell phone retailer. 2 folks came into his store wanting to know why their phone bill was so high. His answer was Angry Birds and Grindr. He had no clue what it was, but the wife sure did! she flipped out on her hubby in the middle of the store, So yes if your wife has access to account information and cell phone bills, she can find out what extracurricular s the hubby's engaged in.