Mar 27, 2015 2:24 PM GMT
What does a normal healthy romantic relationship look like. There are a variety of ways that a relationship can play out. The traditional way is that two people get together, agree not to have sexual relationships with each other, get to know each other and their families and if they're in love they get married. I feel like it doesn't always work out like that. There have been times where I'm just trying to sleep with a lot of guys. Times where I'm not attached to any one person but I have friends with benefits. More recently I'm with an older guy who's comfortable with me sleeping with other guys as long as I'm safe and honest about it. I met one guy my age that I really like, but he sometimes makes money by giving massages and sexual favors to clients. I was understanding of him and willing to stick by him at first. I can understand and respect the hustle. He's foreign and needs to make money quickly to help pay for a lawyer to help him become naturalized. The other day though, he told me he doesn't want anything serious until he doesn't have to do that anymore and he can be honest and monogamous with his boyfriend. I'd love to pay to help him, but I just don't have the money. More than that I still have my fwbs on the side and don't feel like I'd be honest. I'm willing to give them up but I don't know when he'll be able to stop too. I thought loyalty and understanding would be enough, but I feel like he's trying to live out an ideal. Moreover I'm unsure if the love's there at least on his end or what he thinks about me. What good is monogamy when there's an understanding and honesty even if you see other people from time to time. Can romantic and dedicated love only really exist between people in a monogamous relationship or is that only an ideal. Moreover if people are looking for an ideal and don't care who they share it with, is it really love?