Shy, Inexperienced. Advice to go from Zero to Hero?

  • atlscruff

    Posts: 9

    Mar 28, 2015 9:17 PM GMT
    I'm opening a can of worms here haha...but what advice would you give someone who is shy and sexually inexperienced to meet guys whether it's for sex (hello!) or dating. I guess I don't understand apps. I end up doing a lot of small talk and then the conversation ends pretty quickly. I've met 2 people for lunch from Grindr in the last year. Yes I could be naive but for those that are straight forward and ask about what I enjoy or am into I become ashamed of my lack of experience so I usually stop talking to them. I don't really know how to answer that. (I have no idea if I'm a top, bottom, etc.. Yes, you can laugh now. I know my friends are shocked whenever I tell them any of this LOL.) Granted, I ended up dating one of them though for 5 weeks which was nice. I've been out of the scene (sex, dating, socializing) for about 15 years until recently so hence this awkward but necessary question. Thanks!
  • SilverRRCloud

    Posts: 874

    Mar 29, 2015 6:51 PM GMT
    The Apps are probably not going to work for you. Unless you can state what you want sexually the folks are likely to move on to the next target. Most people feel that they are wasting a lot of their time on the Apps, and your inability to state your cause will, most likely act as a major turn off.

    I would hit a popular bar, club, and see what's going on. There are usually quite a few willing guys out there. Some may want to talk, most would like to beeline for the backroom for some sex. Sure, this is not a most romantic option in the world, but it may help you discover what is it that you enjoy, so that you can have a point of reference.

    Sure, sex ain't everything, but without everything else will equal nothing for most dudes out there. Going on a dating market without knowing your preferences is an uphill struggle.

    SC
  • atlscruff

    Posts: 9

    Apr 01, 2015 12:16 PM GMT
    Thanks. I just haven't ever met anyone in a bar or club. Being shy it requires copious amounts of alcohol for me to initiate conversation and that's even when I'm not attracted to someone. That's why I've used online as that's the only way I've ever gotten a date before. Sounds like I am doomed to failure at least from your point of view. icon_sad.gif
  • SilverRRCloud

    Posts: 874

    Apr 01, 2015 12:33 PM GMT
    If you choose to fail, and not change with the requirements of your environment, the chances are that you'll failicon_biggrin.gif

    A wiser option may be to recognize that your present approach to dating has not been too successful, so far. Come up with a good plan to change that.

    Only you can decide to grow a pair, and start talking or flirting with the qualified guys around.

    Sorry for being somewhat blunt.

    SC