How do I stop hating bi guys so much?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 30, 2015 5:47 AM GMT
    Over and over I get with somebody hot, we have a great time, then..."My wife thinks I'm at Wal-Mart, gotta go." "If my girl ever finds out a guy's been sucking her man's dick..." It's life on CL and on the DL. haha

    Didn't take too long before I got sick of it. Worst are the ones who swear they're gay and even put "GM" in their ads. Then when you meet them it's like, OOPS, I do have a family. Minor detail, RIGHT bro! So I've wasted an afternoon, first waiting for you to show up late. Then I get you all ecstatic and saying how good I am. THEN..."My ass is gonna be sore all week now, dude, that was SO awesome. But I can't see you until the ol' lady goes to visit her grandma again." WTF. Not even an hour before, the guy was calling himself gay and now he's got a woman in his life. And once more I've been used to satisfy some bi fool's "curiosity."

    It's gotten into my head worse than it should, though, I think. Yesterday a guy w/a NICE profile pic hit me up & we got to kickin' it. Naturally we were soon helping each other get hard. icon_redface.gif Then, buzz kill. "I haven't had gay sex in two years." Ducking out of the closet for some quick M2M fun and I'm your 7-Eleven? FAIL. After sending off some switch-hitter-shaming I promptly blocked the dude.
    And now I don't feel so good about doing that. He was truthful. It's only the Internet, not like I'd driven out of my way or set aside hours only to be shot down. Have any of you guys found a way to hate our bi bro's less - or even better just totally NOT hate them?
  • SilverRRCloud

    Posts: 872

    Mar 30, 2015 6:27 AM GMT
    What's the point of wasting your time and energy in hating someone? You do not like their lifestyle? Remember, it is them, and their lifestyle. None of your business.

    You are hooking up for sex with other dudes, like a very many other guys out there. NSA is what is says. They have their lives to live, and you have got yours. You have had sex, gotten your rocks off. Hopefully, you both enjoyed it, and now, it is the time to move on until the next opportunity arises. This is what comes with the territory. Shrug with your shoulders, wish the dude good luck, and move on to the next target.

    There is little point in getting involved emotionally with the guys whom you are meeting for the casual sex only.

    I understand that you are hoping that someone may be available, and that more may come out of what was just a casual hook up. And, the chances are that you may bump into that kind of dude, too. Should this not be the case, accept it as a fact of life.

    True, some guys are lying on their profiles, GM and all. This, too, is a reality of the world we live in. You have no means of verifying if what they are saying is true or not. Hence, take it at its face value, enjoy the experience, get some more if possible, and leave it at that.

    Try to understand that not every gay guy out there is available and keen on establishing any kind of relationship with another guy. Saying that they have a family at home may be a good way of putting an end to a possible speculation on your part that more may come of a NSA encounter.

    SC



  • CX838

    Posts: 100

    Mar 31, 2015 3:35 PM GMT
    I used to hate bi when I found out my bi ex bf cheat. But now I know it is not about bisexual. Is all about guy.
  • Destinharbor

    Posts: 4433

    Mar 31, 2015 4:57 PM GMT
    Ya, just let it go. They and you were just looking for sex. If you want more, you'll have to go at it differently. What RR said is very true and you should read it carefully. I do disagree with one thing, though. You can verify whether what someone is telling you about themselves is true or not. The last two relationships I've been in (including my current partner of 8 years and my keeper) we both checked each other out extensively. Online. One almost frighteningly to the point of family obituaries and college records. If you want a relationship, spend some time getting to know the guy before you meet. Check out his story. I'm not one who thinks there's anything wrong with early sex or even nothing-but-sex (I think it is a great way to get to know someone quickly) but if you want the longer term-type relationship, you can at least chat long enough to find out something about him first. Then check him out.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 31, 2015 10:53 PM GMT
    CX838 saidI used to hate bi when I found out my bi ex bf cheat. But now I know it is not about bisexual. Is all about guy.


    CX is perfectly right -- it's not about the person being bisexual; it's about the person themselves.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 01, 2015 1:32 AM GMT
    Maybe your dislike of these guys has less to do with their opportunistic bisexuality and is more about them being cheaters.

    It is something you mention a few times. Even though it has nothing to do with a hookup, a perceived character flaw can be a turn-off and cause us to reconsider how satisfying an encounter was.

    Others wrote you're simply hooking up, so you don't have to take on a trick's baggage. A fuck is just a fuck, and you may need to adjust your level of involvement.

    However, if you'd rather not have to deal with a guy using you to cheat, then you can write something to that effect in your own ad. This will either act as a deterrent or let the guys know to keep their mouth shut if they are cheating. Your hookups could be talking about their wives and girlfriends either casually, or because they know some men enjoy learning they fucked a married guy. A short and nonjudgmental sentence will let them know that's not needed information.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 01, 2015 2:43 AM GMT
    GoCardinalsGo saidHow do I stop hating bi guys so much?
    Find hotter ones.
  • Apparition

    Posts: 3520

    Apr 01, 2015 4:02 AM GMT
    fuck at his house and you will know.
    ask for his mom's phone number and ask if he is gay, if he is out, it will take 10 seconds, if he refuses, say goodbye. You dont even have to actually call her, he will give it up or not showing you his status.
  • CX838

    Posts: 100

    Apr 01, 2015 10:08 AM GMT
    HelloPeople said
    CX838 saidI used to hate bi when I found out my bi ex bf cheat. But now I know it is not about bisexual. Is all about guy.


    CX is perfectly right -- it's not about the person being bisexual; it's about the person themselves.

    When I left my ex, I blamed myself around 3 years. Which was a very long time for me. I wasted my whole 21-24 perfect time to get a new date. Until I met someone new and now a new ex. I found out bi guy screw me, gay guy screw me either. Bisexual men may have a higher probability cause they get more temp. But men do thinking at lower body first most of the time. There is always a contest in our life called" who will die miserable"!