Fit guys and not so fit guys...

  • ChrisBGood

    Posts: 103

    Apr 05, 2015 12:32 AM GMT
    I've been around the world with losing weight. From diets to eating healthy to exclusive cardio to hiring a trainer!! For whatever reason, I cannot lose enough weight. It's just not coming off. But I like fit guys. It is my preference. Not necessarily muscular but fit. Are there any fit guys that like guys "with a little more to love"? If so, how do you approach them in a culture where skinny and/or muscle is considered sexy?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 05, 2015 12:41 AM GMT
    There are chasers out there, fit or thin guys who like a thicker guy.
  • ChrisBGood

    Posts: 103

    Apr 05, 2015 1:09 AM GMT
    James_Thunder_Early saidThere are chasers out there, fit or thin guys who like a thicker guy.


    Thanks, how do I find these kind of guys on RJ? I've chatted with a few guys on here and they are amazing ppl. But it always ends up being I'm not their type. They like muscle guys. Not complaining, just wondering how I can be better in that area.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 05, 2015 1:35 AM GMT
    Maybe there are some helpful hints on these threads:

    muscle dudes who like guys with bellies:
    http://www.realjock.com/gayforums/3551418

    do muscular guys like skinny guys??
    http://www.realjock.com/gayforums/3784022

    Do gay muscular men like skinny guys?
    http://www.realjock.com/gayforums/2686139

    Do big muscular guys ever go for the slim/small guy?:
    http://www.realjock.com/gayforums/2154213

    Are bodybuilders not into slimmer guys?:
    http://www.realjock.com/gayforums/2654902/

    Any muscular black guys into skinny white guys?:
    http://www.realjock.com/gayforums/3541058

    Do Muscular guys find slim guys attractive:
    http://www.realjock.com/gayforums/2294360

    How does a small slim guy attract a big muscled guy?:
    http://www.realjock.com/gayforums/8994

    Do muscle guys like slim guys?:
    http://www.realjock.com/gayforums/1784855

    Are muscle guys attracted to thinner men?:
    http://www.realjock.com/gayforums/1297548

    What do y'all think of thin/toned guys?:
    http://www.realjock.com/gayforums/336811

    Slim?:
    http://www.realjock.com/gayforums/1545802

    Does slim do it?:
    http://www.realjock.com/gayforums/2541937/

    Naturally slim guy doesn't fit in:
    http://www.realjock.com/gayforums/3736183

    skinny versus muscular:
    http://www.realjock.com/gayforums/1520118

    Is It Unrealistic For Twinks To Want To Date Jocks...???
    http://www.realjock.com/gayforums/407322

    WE TWINKS NEED LOVE TOO!!!!!!:
    http://www.realjock.com/gayforums/839444

    Do muscular guys only go for muscular guys? If so, what about the non-muscular guys who wants to go for muscular guys?:
    http://www.realjock.com/gayforums/1748011

    Im not a muscular guy.. Can I still date bigger guys??
    http://www.realjock.com/gayforums/2556416/

    Muscle for Muscle only?:
    http://www.realjock.com/gayforums/1237762

    do you guys look for muscle guys only:
    http://www.realjock.com/gayforums/159339

    Question to all the buff muscle men:
    http://www.realjock.com/gayforums/1937250

    Muscular guys:
    http://www.realjock.com/gayforums/480653

    Two muscular guys together:
    http://www.realjock.com/gayforums/1387616

    do you guys look for muscle guys only:
    http://www.realjock.com/gayforums/159339

    Big guys who like Smaller guys:
    http://www.realjock.com/gayforums/6387

    Is dating impossible if you are NOT muscular?:
    http://www.realjock.com/gayforums/1244247

    Are HIV + Muscular Men More Susceptible To Being with Average Bodied Guy More Than HIV - Muscular Men:
    http://www.realjock.com/gayforums/2548166

    Does Muscle look for Muscle?
    http://www.realjock.com/gayforums/44275

    Masculine/Built Guys Ever Into More Feminine Guys?:
    http://www.realjock.com/gayforums/2696686

    Um...anyone here have a liking for guys with not-so-muscular builds?:
    http://www.realjock.com/gayforums/1098491
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 05, 2015 1:36 AM GMT
    ChrisBGood said
    James_Thunder_Early saidThere are chasers out there, fit or thin guys who like a thicker guy.


    Thanks, how do I find these kind of guys on RJ? I've chatted with a few guys on here and they are amazing ppl. But it always ends up being I'm not their type. They like muscle guys. Not complaining, just wondering how I can be better in that area.


    There probably aren't that many chasers on this site. You might have some luck if you go to a bear night at a club, there are some muscular guys out there that view thicker guys as bear types.
  • Destinharbor

    Posts: 4435

    Apr 05, 2015 2:07 AM GMT
    There's no secret to being fit. A healthy diet with portion control plus a sufficiently vigorous exercise program. Sure, guys' metabolisms can be faster or slower making it all easier or harder but truthfully, it is hard for everyone. So if you're not achieving the level of "fit" you desire in a partner, it's because they're working harder and not cheating. As much. Because they think it's worth the pain and effort and self-denial. The reason more fit guys don't usually date less fit guys is because they don't appreciate excuses that they consider self-serving and mentally lazy. It's going against an important value in their lives that they work hard to maintain. It isn't a snobbery thing.

    So relax your target requirements or do the work to warrant their appreciation.
  • ChrisBGood

    Posts: 103

    Apr 05, 2015 2:26 AM GMT
    James_Thunder_Early said

    There probably aren't that many chasers on this site. You might have some luck if you go to a bear night at a club, there are some muscular guys out there that view thicker guys as bear types.


    Thanks, I'll take that into consideration.
  • ChrisBGood

    Posts: 103

    Apr 05, 2015 2:32 AM GMT
    Destinharbor saidThere's no secret to being fit. A healthy diet with portion control plus a sufficiently vigorous exercise program. Sure, guys' metabolisms can be faster or slower making it all easier or harder but truthfully, it is hard for everyone. So if you're not achieving the level of "fit" you desire in a partner, it's because they're working harder and not cheating. As much. Because they think it's worth the pain and effort and self-denial. The reason more fit guys don't usually date less fit guys is because they don't appreciate excuses that they consider self-serving and mentally lazy. It's going against an important value in their lives that they work hard to maintain. It isn't a snobbery thing.

    So relax your target requirements or do the work to warrant their appreciation.


    What do you mean by do the work to warrant their appreciation?
  • SilverRRCloud

    Posts: 874

    Apr 05, 2015 5:14 AM GMT
    Destinharbor saidThere's no secret to being fit. A healthy diet with portion control plus a sufficiently vigorous exercise program. Sure, guys' metabolisms can be faster or slower making it all easier or harder but truthfully, it is hard for everyone. So if you're not achieving the level of "fit" you desire in a partner, it's because they're working harder and not cheating. As much. Because they think it's worth the pain and effort and self-denial. The reason more fit guys don't usually date less fit guys is because they don't appreciate excuses that they consider self-serving and mentally lazy. It's going against an important value in their lives that they work hard to maintain. It isn't a snobbery thing.

    So relax your target requirements or do the work to warrant their appreciation.


    Very true!

    SC
  • Beeftastic

    Posts: 1747

    Apr 06, 2015 5:52 AM GMT
    Destinharbor saidThere's no secret to being fit. A healthy diet with portion control plus a sufficiently vigorous exercise program. Sure, guys' metabolisms can be faster or slower making it all easier or harder but truthfully, it is hard for everyone. So if you're not achieving the level of "fit" you desire in a partner, it's because they're working harder and not cheating. As much. Because they think it's worth the pain and effort and self-denial. The reason more fit guys don't usually date less fit guys is because they don't appreciate excuses that they consider self-serving and mentally lazy. It's going against an important value in their lives that they work hard to maintain. It isn't a snobbery thing.

    So relax your target requirements or do the work to warrant their appreciation.


    I call bullshit on this entire post. First off "do the work to warrant their appreciation" implies that you are not a worthwhile person unless you change to fit a certain perception. That's the perspective of a body nazi icon_smile.gif Don't fall into that trap.

    Second, everybody's metabolism and body is different. Some people do the work, and they look great. They have an excellent body feedback loop. Some people work just as hard and get much lesser results. This makes it hard to stay motivated and on track. You can get results if you stick with it long enough, and continue to try new things until you find the things that work for you.

    Third, I have met and had relationships with men that were at far superior levels of fitness than I was. I'm a bear. I will always be a bear. The number of athletic looking guys that are into me is large, I can date quite a few of them. There are a lot of guys that like a stocky bear look. If you own your bearish nature, you can start to attract guys that like bears, which include quite a few athletic fellas.

    So many times when I meet that kind of guy in a bar, guys with six packs, the first thing they want to do is put their hands on my belly and rub it. There are more guys like this than you think.

    It's true though that Real Jock is probably not your best demographic, many of the guys are looking for the same kind of guy, and most guys on this site are not really LOOKING for anybody.

    "The reason more fit guys don't usually date less fit guys is because they don't appreciate excuses that they consider self-serving and mentally lazy. It's going against an important value in their lives that they work hard to maintain. It isn't a snobbery thing. "

    For the love of god stay away from any asshole that has this kind of opinion. They lack empathy, they lack the ability to see different peoples challenges and accept them. I dated a guy like this once. He thought I was lazy and ate too much and he was really fit. Turns out he only hit the gym once a week, and swam a couple of times a week. And guess what he was born with the perfect body. I worked out harder than he did, ate better, got more sleep, but he could just coast. He assumed everybody was like him and anybody else was just lazy. He was actually a nice guy in other areas, but in this one area, he had the world handed to him on a silver platter and he could not imagine that the world might treat others differently.


  • Apr 06, 2015 3:46 PM GMT
    Fitness as values?

    Eyeroll

    This is moronic

    It’s like a lineman and safety and quarterback all having the same body

    Have you seen Tom Brady with his shirt off?

    But do you have all his rings and a Brazilian?
  • Destinharbor

    Posts: 4435

    Apr 06, 2015 4:11 PM GMT
    Beeftastic said
    Destinharbor saidThere's no secret to being fit. A healthy diet with portion control plus a sufficiently vigorous exercise program. Sure, guys' metabolisms can be faster or slower making it all easier or harder but truthfully, it is hard for everyone. So if you're not achieving the level of "fit" you desire in a partner, it's because they're working harder and not cheating. As much. Because they think it's worth the pain and effort and self-denial. The reason more fit guys don't usually date less fit guys is because they don't appreciate excuses that they consider self-serving and mentally lazy. It's going against an important value in their lives that they work hard to maintain. It isn't a snobbery thing.

    So relax your target requirements or do the work to warrant their appreciation.


    I call bullshit on this entire post. First off "do the work to warrant their appreciation" implies that you are not a worthwhile person unless you change to fit a certain perception. That's the perspective of a body nazi icon_smile.gif Don't fall into that trap.

    Second, everybody's metabolism and body is different. Some people do the work, and they look great. They have an excellent body feedback loop. Some people work just as hard and get much lesser results. This makes it hard to stay motivated and on track. You can get results if you stick with it long enough, and continue to try new things until you find the things that work for you.

    Third, I have met and had relationships with men that were at far superior levels of fitness than I was. I'm a bear. I will always be a bear. The number of athletic looking guys that are into me is large, I can date quite a few of them. There are a lot of guys that like a stocky bear look. If you own your bearish nature, you can start to attract guys that like bears, which include quite a few athletic fellas.

    So many times when I meet that kind of guy in a bar, guys with six packs, the first thing they want to do is put their hands on my belly and rub it. There are more guys like this than you think.

    It's true though that Real Jock is probably not your best demographic, many of the guys are looking for the same kind of guy, and most guys on this site are not really LOOKING for anybody.

    "The reason more fit guys don't usually date less fit guys is because they don't appreciate excuses that they consider self-serving and mentally lazy. It's going against an important value in their lives that they work hard to maintain. It isn't a snobbery thing. "

    For the love of god stay away from any asshole that has this kind of opinion. They lack empathy, they lack the ability to see different peoples challenges and accept them. I dated a guy like this once. He thought I was lazy and ate too much and he was really fit. Turns out he only hit the gym once a week, and swam a couple of times a week. And guess what he was born with the perfect body. I worked out harder than he did, ate better, got more sleep, but he could just coast. He assumed everybody was like him and anybody else was just lazy. He was actually a nice guy in other areas, but in this one area, he had the world handed to him on a silver platter and he could not imagine that the world might treat others differently.


    I really don't disagree with most of what you say, if you're talking about a six-pack, but I think you're missing the OP's distinction that fit is what he wants and can't achieve for himself. He CAN be fit and appear so with diet and exercise. And some mental energy to maintain the effort and discipline. I agree that some fit guys like the bear look. But even then, I'd guess it's the fit bear look. It sounded more like he was asking for permission to give up on being fit but still wanting the guys who haven't and won't. Mostly I was trying to explain that those guys aren't naturally fit (most of them). They fight hard to maintain it, too, and naturally that effort becomes important in their view of others.

    My guy and I weren't nearly as fit as we are now when we fell in love. But neither of us was limiting our physical attraction to very fit guys, either. We've jointly chosen to work out and watch our diet and have increasingly ratcheted up our fitness goals. Others have other goals. I'm not disrespecting that.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 06, 2015 5:31 PM GMT
    If you ate primitive food , the Paleo Diet, you would lose 5 lbs a week until you reached your natural weight.

  • Apr 06, 2015 6:56 PM GMT
    The durational performance Teresias uses the mythological figure of the blind prophet of Thebes, famous for being transformed from a man into a woman for seven years. A two channel video installation of this performance is displayed, in which Cassils’ body is pressed up against the back of a neoclassical Greek male torso, carved out of ice for precise contact with the artist’s physique. Cassils melts the ice sculpture with pure body heat demonstrating the instability of the body and our desire for a certain unsustainable physique. Recasting the myth of Teresias as a story of endurance and transformation, Cassils performs the resolve required to persist at the point of contact between masculine and feminine.

    Hard Times, Cassils’ initial work using the figure of Tiresias, the artist performs wearing a prosthetic mask, a frosted blonde wig and the deep bikini tan of a female bodybuilder, posing in slow motion atop a wooden plank precariously hovering over the audience. Cassils holds deep muscular contractions that overload the central nervous system causing uncontrollable shaking, leaving the image of a body that sputters and twitches with the exertion required to maintain its manicured surface. Bodybuilding is a sport with no other purpose than to present a “perfected” surface. Cassils sees the construction of this unsustainable body as a stand in for America’s insatiable appetite to consume and the drive of capital regardless of consequence. Hard Times is a portrait of a social body that rots from the inside out.


    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Heather_Cassils
  • mybud

    Posts: 11837

    Apr 06, 2015 7:02 PM GMT
    First, If you're indeed dieting,hired a trainer, and still not losing weight, you're doing something wrong. If you want to attract "fit guys"...Get serious, and stick to your diet, and work out regularly. As simple as that.
  • daveindenver

    Posts: 314

    Apr 06, 2015 10:42 PM GMT
    yup....EXACTLY.

    mybud saidFirst, If you're indeed dieting,hired a trainer, and still not losing weight, you're doing something wrong. If you want to attract "fit guys"...Get serious, and stick to your diet, and work out regularly. As simple as that.

  • Apr 07, 2015 2:30 AM GMT

    Body Fascism: Salvation in the Technology of Physical Fitness Paperback – November 9, 2002

    by





    Brian Pronger (Author)

    In the last three decades of the twentieth century, the physically fit body became the ideal of modern western societies. Images of lean, sculpted men and women dominate the cultural landscape and are now ubiquitous on billboards, in magazines, film, television, and video. Science and popular culture are profoundly mixed in the contemporary scene, and have lead to a host of exercising and dieting technologies that will make actual bodies fit the taught, muscular ideal. Many people desire this body and the attractiveness, health, longevity, and personal security that it represents. But, as Brian Pronger argues, this approach transforms more than the body's functions and contours; it diminishes its transcendent power, compelling it conform to a profoundly limited imagination of what the body can do.

    Calling upon an impressive array of philosophers and other writers who have been critical of modern techno-scientific approaches to life, Pronger pries open the texts that form the technology of physical fitness in order to consider what they try to produce. Body Fascism views technology not simply as a tool for other projects, but as a project itself, producing its own realities that Pronger argues are ultimately nihilistic. Indeed, he says there are disquieting parallels between what technology has done to the environment and what it is doing to the body. Exploring fascinating intersections between postmodern Western and Zen approaches to life, he develops a theory of the body and of science and technology that shows how the body's energy is vulnerable to insidious forms of exploitation as well as harbouring the potential for transcendence. The sheer scope of this book make it unique in the discipline and it will be of great interest not only to scholars of the body, society, science and technology, but also to those who are personally drawn to modern technologies of physical fitness.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 07, 2015 3:29 PM GMT
    I think it's the opposite. Mind fascism . The unnatural, fucked up ego telling the body it can't be the fit ,lean, beauty that it should be naturally.

    Trust me, sitting and playing videos games all day, eating chips and Coke is not natural.




    JockPunkBohemian said
    Body Fascism: Salvation in the Technol of Physical Fitness Paperback – November 9, 2002

    by





    Brian Pronger (Author)

    In the last three decades of the twentieth century, the physically fit body became the ideal of modern western societies. Images of lean, sculpted men and women dominate the cultural landscape and are now ubiquitous on billboards, in magazines, film, television, and video. Science and popular culture are profoundly mixed in the contemporary scene, and have lead to a host of exercising and dieting technologies that will make actual bodies fit the taught, muscular ideal. Many people desire this body and the attractiveness, health, longevity, and personal security that it represents. But, as Brian Pronger argues, this approach transforms more than the body's functions and contours; it diminishes its transcendent power, compelling it conform to a profoundly limited imagination of what the body can do.

    Calling upon an impressive array of philosophers and other writers who have been critical of modern techno-scientific approaches to life, Pronger pries open the texts that form the technology of physical fitness in order to consider what they try to produce. Body Fascism views technology not simply as a tool for other projects, but as a project itself, producing its own realities that Pronger argues are ultimately nihilistic. Indeed, he says there are disquieting parallels between what technology has done to the environment and what it is doing to the body. Exploring fascinating intersections between postmodern Western and Zen approaches to life, he develops a theory of the body and of science and technology that shows how the body's energy is vulnerable to insidious forms of exploitation as well as harbouring the potential for transcendence. The sheer scope of this book make it unique in the discipline and it will be of great interest not only to scholars of the body, society, science and technology, but also to those who are personally drawn to modern technologies of physical fitness.
  • wesv

    Posts: 907

    Apr 09, 2015 5:10 AM GMT
    I've heard from some other guys that they have a preference for those who workout, not necessarily those who have "that" physique. As long as they workout, that's their preference. Since you mentioned about hiring a trainer, I assume you do. Despite that you have trouble losing weight, you have it better than those who are lazy.

    Here's a personal story:

    I once received a message on Grindr. I thought the guy was kinda cute so I replied. Then he sent me a shirtless pic as our chat went on and I was grossed out. He wasn't overweight but actually slim and otter-like. If I could describe how he looked like, hairy torso with no chest, skinny arms with no definition and a stomach that hung a bit. Then he told me he just started going to the gym because a group of friends took him. So I thought "blah what a turnoff."
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 09, 2015 6:30 AM GMT
    You probably hired a personal trainer at a gym that told you to eat healthy and then had you do a bunch of "new" exercises that help better to target the muscles. You should look into hiring a bodybuilder type coach. They will tell you how to train, how much cardio to do, and what macros you should be eating, and adjust the different variables as you get leaner. If you do that and your not losing weight then your not doing what there telling you to do simple as that.
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    Apr 09, 2015 1:57 PM GMT
    It depends on what "a little more to love" looks like. I weighed 240 lbs at one point and have struggled with weight most of my life so I definitely can relate.

    I think we all have favorite parts of the body. For me those parts are chest and arms. If a guy has breasts, mushy arms or an ambiguous shaped body I am not going to be as attracted physically. Personality goes a long way too however. I would (and have) take an average build with a confident, masculine personality over a great body with a not so great personality.