When Guys Don't Reply Back After Sending Pictures of Yourself?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 05, 2015 2:05 AM GMT
    I have a bit of a rant about a phenomena on dating sites that's feeling a bit like quasimodo at them moment because this is happening quite often compa
  • SilverRRCloud

    Posts: 875

    Apr 05, 2015 5:30 AM GMT
    Actions speak (much) louder than words.

    If a dude chooses to cut the communication short, after he gets your mugshot or similar, he ain't really interested in meeting you/dating you/talking to you anymore. He has chosen to move on, and either stay on his own or look for someone else.

    You really have no other options but to do the same.

    Being cut short after the pix have been sent must be frustrating, to say the least.

    Remember however, that online dating happens to be more of a virtual than a real life phenomenon.

    A guy who would be perfectly happy to hook up with you and possibly more in real life, usually happens to be far more critical of your looks while he is cruising in the online world. The online world offers an illusion that there are hundreds of awesome looking dudes right at his fingertips. So, why settle for someone unless he is super pornstar class dude?

    Plus, there is an issue of the effort involved. So, you "met" this dude online. Now, you have to keep on chatting and arrange a date in a public place to check the dude out. You need to sync your plans with each other. Time, travel and expense may be involved. A few dudes are known to be notorious fakes & flakes, too. So, why take all of this upon yourself unless the dude on the pic looks like a super-ueber dude?

    Now, contrast this with a real life cruising. There are a few guys out there. A few are pretty attractive from your point of few. Some of them, and a few more find you attractive, too. The choices are who they are. There is no need to chat endlessly, go through the calendar sync, fear of the fakes and flakes. So, most dudes by far, choose to accept the real life for what it is. The place is here and the time is now. You either give it a try here or go back home alone.

    The reality check helps a lot.

    SC
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 05, 2015 6:13 AM GMT
    Erobert saidI have a bit of a rant about a phenomena on dating sites that's feeling a bit like quasimodo at them moment because this is happening quite often compa

    What kind of pics are you sending? icon_neutral.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 05, 2015 6:26 AM GMT
    Maybe your big dick is scaring them off.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 05, 2015 8:32 PM GMT
    SilverRRCloud said same.

    Being cut short after the pix have been sent must be frustrating, to say the least.

    Remember however, that online dating happens to be more of a virtual than a real life phenomenon.

    A guy who would be perfectly happy to hook up with you and possibly more in real life, usually happens to be far more critical of your looks while he is cruising in the online world. The online world offers an illusion that there are hundreds of awesome looking dudes right at his fingertips. So, why settle for someone unless he is super pornstar class dude?

    The reality check helps a lot.

    SC


    Great clarification of this phenomena. I think online we have a short attention span and if you don't meet whatever standards for attractiveness than it's onto the next person- or next 10 guys.

    A lot of people also message a bunch of guys at the same time like they're sending out email spam to a list hoping for a response from a handful of the many guys they blasted with the same message. Unfortunately online it seems like the hottest looking guy in that handful wins. And there's always hotter guys online at your fingertips or a swipe away, constantly distracted from people who might be a good match for you in pursuit of the hottest of the hottest.

    Indeed, what I'm experiencing online doesn't match up with offline behavior, best to not let it effect me that much I guess. ;)
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 06, 2015 12:39 AM GMT
    I'm sorry. Online dating was not invented to increase your chances. Online dating was invented to make a lot of money for the guys who sold you the dream that online dating increases your chances.

    I apologize for explaining this, but I found this to be true: when I walk into a bar full of people, one--maybe two--guys stand out as attractive to me. Because the rest are average looking. And that's it. Those guys are the cock of the block in that room. Fuckable in only that setting.

    Put those same one/two guys in a stadium full of (internet) attractive men and I'll probably rate them more like a five, maybe a low six out of ten.

    That's the internet. A gargantuan swipe left meat market. The high-fives/low-sixes don't even register.

    Solution: go to a small bar. Be the star, fuck every night.
  • Beeftastic

    Posts: 1747

    Apr 06, 2015 4:07 AM GMT
    I will preface what I am saying with one caveat.

    If you have been having a long interesting conversation with someone, and then send pics that don't agree with you, that person deserves a response and an intelligent and gentle let down. However most online interactions are not like that with only a few lines of generic interaction before sending pics - ie no emotional investment from either party.

    The whole purpose of sending and receiving pics is so you can tell if the guy is your type. When a guy is not your type what's more rude: to stop communication, or to continue talking?

    Continuing talking might make you feel good about yourself (which helps who?), but there are three options: Lie about your feelings towards him, avoid talking about your feelings, or telling him he is not your type (which will probably make him feel worse). Also continuing to talk gives the guy false hope that he is making progress with you, which is also a lie.

    Another factor is that most people that hit you up will have probably forgotten about you and moved on to the next person before you get back to them. So getting back to them and turning them down means you are giving a rejection to someone that in all likelihood had already forgotten about you. You created negative energy where there didn't need to be any.

    This is why my preference is actually to receive silence if a guy is not interested. But I guess I'm weird, or just mature.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 06, 2015 1:06 PM GMT
    mickeytopogigio saidI'm sorry. Online dating was not invented to increase your chances. Online dating was invented to make a lot of money for the guys who sold you the dream that online dating increases your chances.

    I apologize for explaining this, but I found this to be true: when I walk into a bar full of people, one--maybe two--guys stand out as attractive to me. Because the rest are average looking. And that's it. Those guys are the cock of the block in that room. Fuckable in only that setting.

    Put those same one/two guys in a stadium full of (internet) attractive men and I'll probably rate them more like a five, maybe a low six out of ten.

    That's the internet. A gargantuan swipe left meat market. The high-fives/low-sixes don't even register.

    Solution: go to a small bar. Be the star, fuck every night.

    haha, that's quite true.
  • FRE0

    Posts: 4865

    Apr 06, 2015 7:47 PM GMT
    Erobert saidI have a bit of a rant about a phenomena on dating sites that's feeling a bit like quasimodo at them moment because this is happening quite often compa


    There is such a thing as etiquette. Unfortunately, knowledge of it is somewhat spotty.
  • Rene_Aensland

    Posts: 2495

    Apr 06, 2015 7:48 PM GMT
    Lumpyoatmeal saidMaybe your big dick is scaring them off.


    LOL!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 06, 2015 10:10 PM GMT
    It depends on the photos. Did you send face, dick or what?? From my online dating experiences, honestly, if they don't reply you then you're not hot enough or their cup of tea. Gay men are a superficial bunch Lol, it's true, men are very visual. The moment they check you out online or you check them out, Us gays usually size each other up to their *ideal image of *prince charming or whoever in their head. My advice is take and update current photos and put your best foot forward.

    Lol, true story! about a week ago, I sorta *slutty up my OK Cupid profile, I put like 8 new photos (some selfies, some half-naked, beach photos) lord behold, my inactive profile went from 12 visitors a week to 118 visitors a week (100% increase) !! and about 15 new guys Rated me as the *perfect match!! Lol, Now having said that, it boosted my ego a lot but i don't have an ego problem! I only like 1 guy on OKC, he and I viewed each other over a month! I'm scared that he won't like me or something LOL. Oh blah!! And yes, I noticed the increase of visitors and emails I got on here too!! icon_smile.gif You should update and slutty up your profile bro, then you will have more guys as choices or options, just saying.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 06, 2015 10:52 PM GMT
    And the OP is the same fellow to whom I recently sent a compliment to one of his profile pics, and was rejected.

    All I said was You are very handsome, good looking. That was all.

    Is it so offensive to receive a positive comment from someone who is not only a lot older than he is, but not so good looking?

    But furthermore, does he feel in a way threatened with an idea that I'm after a relationship? And that despite there is three thousand miles of ocean, at least, between us?

    No, I'm not after any form of relationship. First, our age difference is too wide, secondly I have far more important things to spend my money on than a transatlantic air ticket. Thirdly, guess what? On this site I have been classed as Bisexual (by someone else, and not actually by me). This is because, although yes, I do feel a sexual desire towards tall men such as Erobert, I am also married to a female, and have three daughters, one appearing here on a profile pic. To add to all that, I would never act behind my wife's back.

    Then why do I have an account on this site? Because I do have a crush on the likes of the OP. This makes me a gay man, does it not?

    This is to you, Erobert. Please grow up! If you can't receive a compliment from the likes of me, then don't moan if others ignore you as well.
  • Tig3r

    Posts: 139

    Apr 06, 2015 11:13 PM GMT
    I guess I am the odd example; I still chat with a guy, even if I do not find them attractive, up until the point where they assume that I want to have sex with them. My kindness should not be mistaken for lust.

    If I found you to be attractive once, then I'll ask for another face picture just for confirmation sake. If I do not find you attractive from your first photo, I will not ask for another. If someone were to send me a dick pic then I usually stop responding, why? I never asked for one, nor do I want to see it. Some dicks are not cute, and I take that as an insult.
  • Goodluckyman

    Posts: 104

    Apr 07, 2015 9:20 PM GMT
    The earlier the better
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 08, 2015 8:16 AM GMT
    Tig3r saidI guess I am the odd example; I still chat with a guy, even if I do not find them attractive, up until the point where they assume that I want to have sex with them. My kindness should not be mistaken for lust.

    If I found you to be attractive once, then I'll ask for another face picture just for confirmation sake. If I do not find you attractive from your first photo, I will not ask for another. If someone were to send me a dick pic then I usually stop responding, why? I never asked for one, nor do I want to see it. Some dicks are not cute, and I take that as an insult.


    I guess we're both odd examples then. I will chat with a guy if I find them interesting, but am not attracted to them because I look at it as a chance to possibly make a new friend.
  • Breeman

    Posts: 339

    Apr 08, 2015 11:31 PM GMT
    I've sent numerous pics that I never got a response from. I've just accepted that's how it is with dating online.

    Some of us older guys will remember when there was no internet. The closest thing to online dating was a section in most newspapers called the personals. A page of ads in the back of the daily newspaper; men seeking women, women seeking men etc. It seemed that the men seeking men section never had more than 10 ads, and it was always the same 10 guys every day for months!

    You had to respond to an ad by mail and if you were confident, you included a photo of yourself. You hand-wrote a letter, you bought envelopes, stamps, and waited 4 or 5 days for a response that you never get. I hate to say you guys don't know how easy you got it but...
  • HPgeek934

    Posts: 970

    Apr 09, 2015 3:02 AM GMT
    NotThatOld saidAnd the OP is the same fellow to whom I recently sent a compliment to one of his profile pics, and was rejected.

    All I said was You are very handsome, good looking. That was all.

    Is it so offensive to receive a positive comment from someone who is not only a lot older than he is, but not so good looking?

    But furthermore, does he feel in a way threatened with an idea that I'm after a relationship? And that despite there is three thousand miles of ocean, at least, between us?

    No, I'm not after any form of relationship. First, our age difference is too wide, secondly I have far more important things to spend my money on than a transatlantic air ticket. Thirdly, guess what? On this site I have been classed as Bisexual (by someone else, and not actually by me). This is because, although yes, I do feel a sexual desire towards tall men such as Erobert, I am also married to a female, and have three daughters, one appearing here on a profile pic. To add to all that, I would never act behind my wife's back.

    Then why do I have an account on this site? Because I do have a crush on the likes of the OP. This makes me a gay man, does it not?

    This is to you, Erobert. Please grow up! If you can't receive a compliment from the likes of me, then don't moan if others ignore you as well.


    You're citing a specific example of when you sent him a message and he didn't respond (for all you know he never even saw it) and trying to say it's then same thing as having a one on one actual conversation with someone and then them disappearing after a photo is exchanged? Those couldn't be any further than the same thing.
  • Elian

    Posts: 60

    Apr 09, 2015 10:53 AM GMT

    In the internet the realistic thing is to assume that people is only going to keep talking to you if they fancy you. It's not set in stone, some people answering in this posts might be examples,but its how it works 90% of the time.

    For me it's like that, its like an additional filter that would be way less important in normal daily interaction, as you get to know the person better and attraction sometimes grow.

    Sounds harsh, but if is how it works. I have been in both ends of the story many times, but no risk, no gain. That is why you should have your pic on display from the beginning and it usually won't be what I consider my best pic (In case someone wants to see more)

    I hate when people don't have clear pics (or pics at all) and then when they either send me or I have to ask for them, I don't fancy him... you are left with the awkward situation of telling him you don't fancy him or stop answering... If you ask me, I prefer when the guy just stops talking, I just assume he is an asshole that doesn't know what he is missing and move on. I know it's a mind trick after all, but works for me. Just don't give internet interactions more importance than they have, they are just there to increase your chances (often slightly given the online dating environment), not to cause you any concern icon_razz.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 09, 2015 4:06 PM GMT
    NDmike said
    Tig3r saidI guess I am the odd example; I still chat with a guy, even if I do not find them attractive, up until the point where they assume that I want to have sex with them. My kindness should not be mistaken for lust.



    I guess we're both odd examples then. I will chat with a guy if I find them interesting, but am not attracted to them because I look at it as a chance to possibly make a new friend.


    You can add me to the odd example list as well icon_smile.gif
  • Apparition

    Posts: 3534

    Apr 11, 2015 3:32 AM GMT
    why on earth are you "sending pictures after"? why are they not in your profile?

    dating online is about knowing what you are getting
    everyone knows what they like and hate, they shouldnt have to talk to you if one second after they see you, they know you dont do it for them.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 18, 2015 9:57 PM GMT
    I forgot to mention one more thing, it's important. SOmetimes, most gay guys don't reply back after you sent a photo because They DO NOT want a confrontation or a nasty argument online. Think of it this way, if you reject someone in public, he may or may not MAKE a huge scene. If you reject someone online by saying **sorry, your pic's not hot enough or whatever** Then that person may get really mean and angry and start throwing insults back your way. It happened to me before. Rejection hurts, nobody wants someone to tell to their face *they're ugly or not hot or whatever*, so maybe the Silence Ignore is the nicer way to go. It is what it is.