How a Straight Man in a Gay Relationship Made it Work

  • metta

    Posts: 39082

    Apr 06, 2015 7:57 AM GMT
    How a Straight Man in a Gay Relationship Made it Work


    - See more at: http://goodmenproject.com/featured-content/straight-man-gay-relationship-works-jvinc/
  • jeep334

    Posts: 406

    Apr 06, 2015 11:33 AM GMT
    Good story. I linked on to the full story and then some other things Mike wrote. I want to know where they are today in their love but it's still nice just reading how it happened. Thanks for sharing. icon_cool.gif
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    Apr 06, 2015 12:50 PM GMT
    jeep334 saidGood story. I linked on to the full story and then some other things Mike wrote. I want to know where they are today in their love but it's still nice just reading how it happened. Thanks for sharing. icon_cool.gif

    Yes, good story. My question is this:

    If they're really straight men, will the siren song of females pull them apart? And what if one or both of them want natural children? This is also an issue I've seen with bisexual men.

    It's the stability of the relationship that would concern me. If women are still on the menu, what happens when one of these guys tires of the same daily fare?
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    Apr 06, 2015 2:07 PM GMT
    This one was also good

    http://goodmenproject.com/featured-content/otherwise-straight-man-love-best-friend-jvinc/

    I can FULLY understand what this guy is talking about. Been there done that 45 years ago.

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    Apr 06, 2015 2:52 PM GMT



    I'm a vegetarian. *finishes eating roast beef* Yes I'm eating meat, but I tell you I'm a vegetarian.

    This makes perfect sense.
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    Apr 06, 2015 4:17 PM GMT
    My own experience is that I have fallen in love with women very much the same as I have fallen in love with men but I only feel sexual with men. So with these two guys I kind of suspect some measure of bisexuality at play, but it could simply be a lack of revulsion. For me, love was not enough with regard to a relationship with a female, particularly not had she wanted monogamy. Cunt? Ick fucking ick. Not my thang. I like the dick.

    So given that I have a dick that I also like, I could see that if I was str8 and fell in love with a man (as I am gay and have fallen in love with women) that I could enjoy sex with a man even though I might still then fantasize female (& knowing myself I'd still need that on the side) without even being very or at all bi because I wouldn't have the revulsion to penis as I do to vagina.

    I don't have a vagina. I think they are ugly. I don't understand them. I don't need to know them. I've never heard of one making interesting conversation. So there's nothing there for me. But I do understand my penis. So I imagine that I'd be good with cock even if that wasn't my orientation. By that I judge their relationship legit.
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    Apr 06, 2015 4:20 PM GMT
    meninlove said


    I'm a vegetarian. *finishes eating roast beef* Yes I'm eating meat, but I tell you I'm a vegetarian.

    This makes perfect sense.


    Lol, thumbs up. How are you, meninlove?
  • bobbobbob

    Posts: 2812

    Apr 06, 2015 5:14 PM GMT
    Here's a quote from the article that can't be emphasized enough.

    "Labels are absolutely useful for helping people feel connected, relatable, even understood. But there comes a point where the label starts holding you back."

    In the comments, this applies to meninlove's words. It sounds as if he's trying to make the described relationship fit into a very limited list of labels on people's attractions and loves. Meaningful intimate loving relationships between humans do not always fit into nice neat labels. It's pretty simplistic and narrow minded to assume loving intimate relationships are limited to a set of multiple choices as if they were on a menu listed 1 through 5.

    If you live long enough and meet a wide range of people you'll eventually understand that things like this happen more than you realize.
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    Apr 06, 2015 5:20 PM GMT
    "Today’s normal is really just about happiness. It’s about creating a life that feels right and honest and authentic to you. Normal is a very relative term, especially when it comes to relationships. And today’s normal is really just about happiness. It’s about creating a life that feels right and honest and authentic to you. It’s about creating your own rules for love because you and your partner(s) have never existed before. There’s no example of how to do this because you and your relationship are completely unique."

    So, moral relativism meets John Stuart Mill, not that they were ever strangers. And, "there is nothing new under the sun." Sorry, this is a little short of my depth, where it's not just all about me, but there's plenty of profundity for the other person, too.
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    Apr 06, 2015 7:09 PM GMT
    MGINSD said"Today’s normal is really just about happiness. It’s about creating a life that feels right and honest and authentic to you. Normal is a very relative term, especially when it comes to relationships. And today’s normal is really just about happiness. It’s about creating a life that feels right and honest and authentic to you. It’s about creating your own rules for love because you and your partner(s) have never existed before. There’s no example of how to do this because you and your relationship are completely unique."

    So, moral relativism meets John Stuart Mill, not that they were ever strangers. And, "there is nothing new under the sun." Sorry, this is a little short of my depth, where it's not just all about me, but there's plenty of profundity for the other person, too.
  • Unnamed6

    Posts: 1132

    Apr 06, 2015 7:23 PM GMT
    metta8 saidHow a Straight Man in a Gay Relationship Made it Work


    - See more at: http://goodmenproject.com/featured-content/straight-man-gay-relationship-works-jvinc/


    One of the speculations I want to talk about here later, is that the capacity, or even desire for coitus will be impaired for a significant percentage of so-called straight men (and maybe even more than half in the near future). There is a reason that misogyny or the belittling of a partner can exist, in that by such being done it can create or aid in the physiological condition that makes an erection possible and have it maintained while doing coitus, whether that coitus is straight or gay. With this man having gay sex, and probably non-coitus sex acts at that, perhaps he can now find a way to be sexually gratified (whether he continues a technical attraction to females or not). Coitus is the de facto expectation for straight sex, and not what amounts to as "hand jobs and blow jobs", which can obviously be engaged in by males and females together, but of which are far more standard among gay men. When the capacity for coitus, let alone it's desire, is faltering, the self-identify and self-esteem for some men is ruined, and perhaps it is better to be gay or in a gay relationship than suffer from this issue.
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    Apr 06, 2015 11:15 PM GMT
    I think his story is a little odd....and nowhere is there any mention (that I saw at least) of any sexual connection with his male partner. So....is this a non-sexual relationship? If so, it just sounds like a bromance. I wouldn't call it a "gay relationship" if there was no sexual attraction at all between them.

    It just sounds like two dudes who are totally cool with each other all the time. I have that with even some of my gay friends, but it doesn't make it a "gay relationship" -- it's just a friendship.

    But in the long run, if they're both happy, then I guess good for them.
  • Svnw688

    Posts: 3350

    Apr 06, 2015 11:24 PM GMT
    This is such stupid BS I don't know where to begin. I'm glad he's (mis)appropriating the LGBT card/cause to drum up page views and traffic to his website.

    Follow the $$$. Makes more sense than that crock of sh*t that he's peddling in that article.
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    Apr 06, 2015 11:33 PM GMT
    Seams like yet another man going to extreme lengths to deny he's gay.

    --cut too: five years from now when his "bro" is best man at his same sex marriage ceremony.
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    Apr 06, 2015 11:42 PM GMT
    Talk about the inability to commit!
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    Apr 07, 2015 5:40 PM GMT
    Svnw688 saidThis is such stupid BS I don't know where to begin. I'm glad he's (mis)appropriating the LGBT card/cause to drum up page views and traffic to his website.

    Follow the $$$. Makes more sense than that crock of sh*t that he's peddling in that article.


    I actually went to his website. It is loaded with same theme, which is how does someone make himself/herself a better person. It's very nauseating and it seems that exploring self worth is the answer to much of life's problems.