Topped for the first time. Need some advice

  • Shawn8927

    Posts: 2

    Apr 10, 2015 11:16 PM GMT
    Hello everyone, happy Friday!

    So I have a question, and I dont really know who to ask.

    I met this guy about a week ago and we finally sealed the deal last night. I had told him that I was not very experienced with anal sex. In reality I had none.

    With the help of good ol' Google, I read up on what I should do to prepared him before we did the deed.

    I made sure that I stretched him out before hand, and I was paying close attention to his body language for when I was doing too much. I was also very patient with the process.

    Once it seemed that he was ready, I proceeded to penetrate. When I got about half way in he said "ow" pretty sharply, so I backed out a little bit.

    After his first wince of pain I did light strokes slowly getting back to that point. Though when I reached it for the second time the same thing happened. I didnt want to hurt him so I didnt go that far in again.

    I managed to get him off twice, but I was not able to. Even though I couldnt get an orgasm, I was really satisfied that he was actually enjoying it so much.

    He asked me to stay the night this weekend, and I would like to ask for some pointers. I would like to be able to get all the way in there this time (if its possible, I dont know how deep the anal cavety is). Is there something I should do differently when warminng him up. I put my fingers in all the way but they arent that long.

    I am 6 3/4 long and 5 1/4 around.

    Thanks ahead of time for any advice anyone can give me.
  • rnch

    Posts: 11501

    Apr 10, 2015 11:26 PM GMT
    A long, wet rimming session, 1,2 then 3 lubed fingers sliding in & out of him, touching & stroking his cheeks, legs, stomach, reassure him he's going ok, more lube inserted in his rectum, MORE rimming, then slowly slide in as you did before.

    Also, a snort from a fresh bottle of poppers (by him) 5 to 10 seconds before you slide in Works Wonders
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 10, 2015 11:39 PM GMT
    Hi Shawn,

    A lot depends on the position your partner is in while you're doing him, how lubed you & him are, and of course your size.

    As far as size goes, you & I are the same length & girth so I don't think that's the problem.

    What I've found is that it's really important to get your partner very lubed up by putting a lot of KY on your middle finger and slowly inserting it into him and moving it around to not only get him properly lubed but to get him used to the idea of something going inside him. After that, lube up your dick and go into him slowly and pay attention to his reaction. He may wince a tiny bit because of your girth, but you can continue into him slowly. If there's obvious pain, pull out.

    Since you made him come twice, I'm assuming you were doing him for some time. As the lube wears down, sometimes it becomes necessary to pull out and lube him & yourself up some more.

    As for position, if he's laying flat on his stomach, this will be more painful for him than if his ass is raised off the bed in some way. It'll be much easier for him if he can get on his hands & knees or at least lay on a stack of pillows so that his ass is raised off the bed. A great position I love is when he's laying on his back with his legs on your shoulders as you're doing him. The anus really opens up and makes things a lot easier for him, but it may require more physical core strength on your part since you have some resistance from his legs to deal with. This can be really intense since you're both feeding off each other's reactions which isn't as easy to do if he's face down on the bed. This is the position I love best!

    If you're both new to this then you have quite an adventure ahead of you!

    Hope this helps and have fun! icon_smile.gif
  • Destinharbor

    Posts: 4333

    Apr 14, 2015 8:53 PM GMT
    It isn't as much work as it sounds. First of all, understand that a bit of pain is part of the whole thing. That if your guy felt no pain upon being entered, well then either he was just opened up an hour ago or is used to getting open multiple times/day. So relax. Your size is fine. Different guys have different techniques but gallons of lube aren't needed nor is rimming nor even a lot of finger work if any. A good slathering of a good lube like Wet Platinum or Gun Oil on his anus and your dick should be enough. Don't buy KY or the economy stuff-- it dries out too fast. And don't buy stuff that heats or cools or desensitizes. Take your time and don't go in much at all, just press repetitively on the door until you can start to enter. Then a bit forward then stop. Again. Again. Until you're in. Maybe back out just a tad if he's really having trouble but do not withdraw and then start over. Unless he asks you to. Once you're in fully and a rhythm is established, you won't need anything more but communication. But every time you manage to push just a bit deeper, he'll let you know and that is part of the pleasure for both of you.

    I read a profile ages ago offering to top young newbies. I do believe the man had an agenda but what he said was true: "To be a good top, you must learn how to be a good bottom from a good top." Not always true or necessary but it does help. It is one big advantage we have over hetero sex so why not take advantage. That said, some guys are just naturally one or the other so that's fine, too. The gay world needs tops!