Would you help this guy? (Grindr story!)

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 12, 2015 3:37 PM GMT
    So, I really don't use Grindr that much. I just grew up believing that you need to talk to people and go on a date. But, I wouldn't say no if I really liked the guy.

    I met this guy, he's 18 years old. A little backstory, I'm a mental health professional. Which usually makes things like Grinder a disaster.

    I was talking to him, mostly telling him that I wouldn't even know what to do with him other than put him through college.

    He went on to tell me this story, which based on the way he was acting is probably true. He was trafficked here from Thailand at age 8, and had sex with a 54 year old man for years and the guy finally ditched him. In talking to him he was a classic case of someone who had been extensively sexually abused -- confused gender norms, abnormal sexual behavior, poor understanding of boundaries and extremely open/exposed.

    I couldn't do much other than give him my cell phone number and tell him if he needed help I would connect him with the right people (to get therapy). He does not even begin to understand the damage it did to him, so I know he won't reach out.

    I didn't want to go as far as meeting him, because selfishly, I know that getting these kind of people mixed up in your life can also be a disaster.

    Should I have done more?
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    Apr 12, 2015 3:43 PM GMT
    It's hard to say. icon_sad.gif The whole situation just sounds really sad. Hopefully he really will reach out. If you're interested in his well-being you could always just use grindr for that if you really wanted.
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    Apr 12, 2015 3:51 PM GMT
    I guess you'd have to think, why is he telling you all this information? does he tell everyone? did he start telling you this stuff after you said you were in mental health?

    almost sounds fake to be honest.
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    Apr 12, 2015 3:57 PM GMT
    Yeah people that damaged rarely are aware of their own damage. Should you have done more? Hard to say. I tend to do too much. I've actually taken people off the street, brought them into my home and done what I could to get them on their feet. To be totally honest.....they're usually back where I found them, even though I gave them a very good starting point. BUT, I did what I felt I needed to do. What they do with it is their choice. And there are a couple of people who I know I actually helped start new lives, so for me it's been worth it.
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    Apr 12, 2015 4:07 PM GMT
    No. I think you handled that situation very well.