Confused/Repressed feelings

  • beachcomber96

    Posts: 5

    Apr 14, 2015 5:21 AM GMT
    How have you guys dealt with repressed feelings of attraction for guys or have those feelings always been acknowledged?
  • Elian

    Posts: 60

    Apr 14, 2015 6:44 AM GMT
    Not sure what do you mean...
    If you have already accepted the fact you are attracted to guys but are not ready to come out yet, I would suggest focusing in your friends, the hobbies you like, etc... In general my opinion is that you should do other things that make you happy and build up the right conditions to help you come out in the future, that way you won't feel stuck.

    Now if your plan is never coming out, I don't know what to recommend apart from changing your mind on that. otherwise it will become more and more difficult with time and you are on for some unhappy times.

    Just my two cents, sorry if that is not helpful. :p
  • beachcomber96

    Posts: 5

    Apr 14, 2015 8:33 AM GMT
    that is helpful, thanks your input
  • Elian

    Posts: 60

    Apr 14, 2015 11:42 AM GMT
    No worries, mate.

    Now that I have read your post again... to answer the question. Yeah, I managed to repress my feelings so well that I would no longer think in any sort of relationship. The all my friends started getting girlfriends etc and I felt for a guy like a teenager without even noticing at the beginning!. So the situation kind of exploded in my face.

    Dealt with that(after realizing i was getting depressed) by working for a future come out as I said (getting in shape, getting an stable financial situation, working as crazy until i could get a job somewhere different for a fresh start, building my self esteem, getting new hobbies... all that stuff).

    I would recommend anyone doing that, its so much better than just coming out in an angry moment or by accident when you are not prepared yet...

  • Antarktis

    Posts: 213

    Apr 14, 2015 8:53 PM GMT
    Elian saidNot sure what do you mean...
    If you have already accepted the fact you are attracted to guys but are not ready to come out yet, I would suggest focusing in your friends, the hobbies you like, etc... In general my opinion is that you should do other things that make you happy and build up the right conditions to help you come out in the future, that way you won't feel stuck.

    Now if your plan is never coming out, I don't know what to recommend apart from changing your mind on that. otherwise it will become more and more difficult with time and you are on for some unhappy times.

    Just my two cents, sorry if that is not helpful. :p



    This is good advice.
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    Apr 14, 2015 11:55 PM GMT
    Repressing yourself will only make you miserable in the long run and the stress will not be good neither physically, mentally, nor emotionally.
  • monet

    Posts: 1093

    Apr 15, 2015 5:03 AM GMT
    You don't have to be attracted to only men or only women; you can attracted to both.

    It's nobody else's business who you are attracted to but yourself.
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    Apr 15, 2015 5:08 AM GMT
    I know a very goodlooking 23 year old who says he's bisexual and is on love with a girl he's only hung around with 3 or 4 times and during that time he's had bj's from men. Not quite sure how to figure him out. He said there is a song that will "forever and always be OUR song." Not sure if he's repressing his feelings or is confused.
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    Apr 15, 2015 2:05 PM GMT
    repressing your feelings is not a successful long term strategy. you're hurting yourself and potentially others.
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    Apr 15, 2015 3:05 PM GMT
    beachcomber96 saidHow have you guys dealt with repressed feelings of attraction for guys or have those feelings always been acknowledged?


    Sharing your situation with another repressed guy when there is mutual attraction is a safe, human way to move to a better loving place . There is a running Portuguese soap opera about repressed gays called David and Xavier on YouTube. It's actually a plot theme for dozens of gay films. The first one I watched was Mumbo Italiano . It's a comedy which always helps. The Falls is one currently on Netflix.
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    Apr 15, 2015 6:43 PM GMT
    TotalTopJock saidI know a very goodlooking 23 year old who says he's bisexual and is on love with a girl he's only hung around with 3 or 4 times and during that time he's had bj's from men. Not quite sure how to figure him out. He said there is a song that will "forever and always be OUR song." Not sure if he's repressing his feelings or is confused.


    He hasn't accepted himself yet so he's going through the "I'm bisexual" stage. Give him time. He'll be gay soon enough.
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    Apr 15, 2015 6:44 PM GMT
    Wyndahoi saidrepressing your feelings is not a successful long term strategy. you're hurting yourself and potentially others.


    I could be (and many others) the poster boy for that statement.

    Also, as society becomes more and more accepting it's going to be harder and harder to remains repressed.
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    Apr 15, 2015 6:58 PM GMT
    UndercoverMan said
    TotalTopJock saidI know a very goodlooking 23 year old who says he's bisexual and is on love with a girl he's only hung around with 3 or 4 times and during that time he's had bj's from men. Not quite sure how to figure him out. He said there is a song that will "forever and always be OUR song." Not sure if he's repressing his feelings or is confused.


    He hasn't accepted himself yet so he's going through the "I'm bisexual" stage. Give him time. He'll be gay soon enough.


    That's kind of what I'm thinking. He's really goodlooking and says whenever he goes to clubs he gets his on by gay men which is odd if he's in a straight club. Last Summer he went to a pool party and said he chatted with a gay couple the entire time and one of them kept grabbing his dick. He told them he's straight but the dude kept doing it so he told him he'd have to buy him a drink every time he groped him. He said he got 12 free drinks that night.
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    Apr 16, 2015 4:04 AM GMT
    I knew what I was at maybe age 11.I did not act on my feelings till my late 20's due to my Catholic Faith.But I had no doubt what I liked.