Questions about a special friend

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 18, 2015 1:14 PM GMT
    Hi Everyone,

    So I've been talking to a guy for almost four months this month, we text each other almost everyday but we are currently just friends. We both have feelings for each other, and would like to date one day but the thing is that we live states apart.

    He told me yesterday, that he just got asked out on a date by a guy he met before. He said that he'll most likely go on the date, but he is not too sure if the guy is his type or if he'll fall for him? Right after that conversation, he told me that he wished that I lived closer to him (so we can date). So he clearly still has feelings for me right?

    Finally, my question is that I'm worried that if he goes on the date and he starts a relationship with the guy that I might lose contact with my friend because he might get too into their own relationship and forget about mine and his currently. This might be too extreme, but my friend could get caught texting me one day (when we continue to talk after they are dating) and his future bf might find about our conversations. He could think that my friend is cheating on him and may break up with him for that. I feel like I've been "friendzoned" or a bit heartbroken since he sees me as a friend, but also as a possible bf.

    I hope you all understand the situation I'm in. It's kinda hard to explain, sorry if you can't understand it. Feel free to message me if you're confused and want to help me out.

    Thanks

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 19, 2015 7:13 PM GMT
    Why don't you guys plan a trip somewhere together for a week or so. Spend some time getting to know each other better and figure out if you really do want to be more than friends. If so, maybe it's worth trying to make a long distance relationship work. If not, you can move on as friends and not wonder if you're missing out on what could have been more. Just my two cents.
  • hebrewman

    Posts: 1367

    Apr 20, 2015 8:51 AM GMT
    i know what you should do. spend some time together, then, in the heat of the moment, blind fold him, tie him to a chair, and edge the hell out of him for an evening. i guarantee he will come back for more. it will be the 'something special' that you two, and you two alone, will share.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 21, 2015 2:25 PM GMT
    Okay, so it is kind of important to know how far away you live from this man. If it is like an hour to two hour drive, then meet him like other people said. If it is like a one hour to two hour flight, you might want to just reconsider. Yeah he might be a good friend and possible boyfriend but it won't be ultimately economical to see him every so often. Plus you never really get to know a person through texting; a personal encounter is what you need on a weekly basis at the start of a relationship in order for it to flourish.

    In regards to the date, the guy isn't technically dating you so he is open to test the waters wherever he wants. However, I do think it is really shitty of him to pretty much have you as a back up in case this whole dating thing doesn't work out. I mean, he said he would want to date you if you lived closer, but if you aren't that far away he could make arrangements to meet you and suffer for a little bit before something serious became of your relationship.

    Be careful dude because this whole situation could turn really sour, really quickly.
  • SilverRRCloud

    Posts: 871

    Apr 30, 2015 7:43 PM GMT
    iadEndresen saidOkay, so it is kind of important to know how far away you live from this man. If it is like an hour to two hour drive, then meet him like other people said. If it is like a one hour to two hour flight, you might want to just reconsider. Yeah he might be a good friend and possible boyfriend but it won't be ultimately economical to see him every so often. Plus you never really get to know a person through texting; a personal encounter is what you need on a weekly basis at the start of a relationship in order for it to flourish.

    In regards to the date, the guy isn't technically dating you so he is open to test the waters wherever he wants. However, I do think it is really shitty of him to pretty much have you as a back up in case this whole dating thing doesn't work out. I mean, he said he would want to date you if you lived closer, but if you aren't that far away he could make arrangements to meet you and suffer for a little bit before something serious became of your relationship.

    Be careful dude because this whole situation could turn really sour, really quickly.


    This+1

    Texting is both cheap and easy. It does not do much either. It tends to put your and his life on hold.

    If the two of you are serious about getting together, do so. If it takes some cash to get there, get a job, and invest in your happiness. If you do not sacrifice anything, you won't get anything either.