Confused about a guy

  • Lehurrdurr

    Posts: 146

    Apr 19, 2015 10:13 PM GMT
    Hi everybody,

    Thought I'd turn to this forum for bits of advice, good or bad.
    I met a guy recently, and upon our first meeting there was an incredible explosion of chemistry. We talked for hours, drank, fucked, smoked, not wanting to let each other go. He is on the older range, and is extremely successful. Despite this he's very humble, super positive and encouraging and does not live beyond his means (even though he could if he wanted to). He constantly says something positive every couple mins and he never ever complained or said anything negative. Because of this I've fallen for him despite the short time frame. He's also opened to me about his secrets. He tells me that he wants to be able to say that he loves me and not like me, but then he says that I shouldn't fall for him. He told me to focus on myself first (cause I'm a struggling student) and just live life to the fullest without regret.
    When he tells me this, I literally just about ready to cry but I held it off. But I'm also scared because I've never been in a relationship so I didn't feel like I was worthy of him. So out of fear and rejection I decide to phase him out slowly, but then he keeps texting me and says all these nice things even though he works 60-70hrs/wk.

    I'm so sad but I don't know what to do. Any thoughts? Am I blinded by false love?
  • SilverRRCloud

    Posts: 901

    Apr 30, 2015 7:54 PM GMT
    A dude who works himself to death is not your prime BF material. This may not be what you want to hear but this is how the cookie crumbles this time around.

    Since both of you seem to enjoy each other's company, there is no harm in seeing this for what it is. Your friend is apparently an honest guy. He wants you to have a good life. Why not follow his advice? Move on mentally, and enjoy his company when and if available. You can buddy up, and enjoy your life.

    Commitment and monogamy all sound wonderful until real life interferes. Recognize this fact, and be prepared to cope with it.

  • Destinharbor

    Posts: 4913

    Apr 30, 2015 8:27 PM GMT
    Guys working 60-70 house/week in Finance in NY is normal. It doesn't continue at that pace forever and a lot of guys just burn out and find something else they enjoy more. So don't let that bother you if you like him. All in all it sounds like he's a nice guy and into you. Being older and telling you to not get tied down is good advice for everyone until you meet the one guy you want to be tied down with. So why are you sad? Date him if you care for him. See where it goes. Enjoy life and stop overthinking a good thing. You have too many tapes of what others think running in your head. Trust yourself. Trust this guy you like so much.
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    Apr 30, 2015 9:01 PM GMT
    I'm older, fucking ancient I guess to some, but that is advice I would give any younger guy, and in fact have. Come into the relationship with eyes wide open and know what you are getting into. It is the only fair, and right thing to do, and you should be thankful he is being frank (or whatever his name is) with you. Lead with the heart, but be guided by the head (no the big one silly).....and then, enjoy what you both want.
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    Apr 30, 2015 9:23 PM GMT
    Lehurrdurr said

    ... Am I blinded by false love?

    Yes, he's married. Move on.
  • AnonymKOIA

    Posts: 118

    Apr 30, 2015 11:42 PM GMT
    What is"He is on the older range" age? go on and enjoy it, but don't fall for him because he knows if you do you are only gonna get hurt.