MuchMoreThanMuscle saidI think I honestly feel the way I do from my exposure to the gay community. I once had a friend who threatened suicide to his parents unless they paid for his liposuction and skin reduction surgery around his midsection. After years of overeating he finally lost the weight but was left with a saggy midsection. The parents did pay for his skin reduction therapy. Manipulation tactics successful.
The type of superficial complaints I see here over the most trivial matters and they all revolve around physical appearance and feeling inferior because they're not perfect from head to toe. I can't imagine if these guys are so down about their paltry concerns that they would be able to face life if they lost a limb in a horrible accident. The idea of disfigurement, to me, sounds like it would put these guys over the edge.
Well I apologize if my speech caught you or anyone off guard. In fact, I'd rather have sex with you than with many of these "clean" guys who, in fact, don't know their status and could be virulent spreaders of HIV because they're in denial and "ride" off their 3 year old negative test. I don't want HIV, but I am NOT "poz-phobic" or whatever anyone would like to call it.
First, HIV in modern countries is more like a chronic illness that, if managed properly, is more of an inconvenience than an impediment. Thank God, that wasn't always the case. Second, I see no difference between me and positive guys except the year in which we were born. If I were a child of the 70s or 80s or 90s (I only became sexually active circa 2000) then I'm almost certain I'd be positive. That's because after all of that struggle went on before my time, and I, undeservedly, benefited from that. I heard all the "safe sex" campaigns, which is why I ALWAYS insisted on a condom. But I fully realize if that struggle/issue hadn't been fought and litigated (primarily in the court of public opinion) for years then I would have been a man who probably engaged in condom-less sex. Third, some of my best friends are poz, and I find them to be some of the most mature, fun, and vibrant friends that I am privileged to call friends.
To the larger issue of this thread, I do feel like the idea of "I'm Poz, I'm kind of disfigured"--perhaps in a subconscious way--was where you were coming from. I could be WRONG. I don't know. But that's what I sensed. Whatever the actual situation, I do believe that being physically disfigured in terms of an amputation--and to a much lesser extent being poz--is a REAL issue but one that can be overcome. And I very much do agree with you that it makes a person less "desirable." Mind you, that's not my editolization, but societies. I mean to say a descriptive realism that being "damaged" goods (whether you have wrinkles, or age, or HIV, or a lost limb, or you're ugly, or [insert parade of societal horribles]" does necessarily limit your dating/LTR pool, but it's not the end of the world. It's just now. I've seen too many "outsiders" find love and happiness for me to believe that nonsense.
Insofar that you shared your friends struggle with weight--largely imposed by his/her parents--I am sympathetic. I'm sorry that he/she didn't have a 'safe place' to go emotionally to his/her parents, but I do hope he/she now is happy.
The world can be a cruel place. We should always be pushing towards goodness and acceptance.