Link: "How Successful People Handle Toxic People"

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    Apr 29, 2015 4:46 AM GMT
    EDIT: Jeebus gawd, we're back at it again. A futile bump in the hopes that a few people might take some direly-needed deep breaths, count to ten, and ask themselves what they're doing to make the situation better. As Gandhi is so often mis-paraphrased, be the change you want to see.
    (/EDIT)
    (oh, and edited per metta8's example)


    A somewhat judgmental title, I'll admit, but I thought it was a good read:

    http://goodmenproject.com/featured-content/how-successful-people-handle-toxic-people-fiff/

    One of my favorites was "They Don't Forget". Among my favorite truisms is one I most often see phrased along the lines of 'Women forgive but never forget; men forget, but never forgive.'

    Anyway, IDK if this is of interest to anyone else (or if it's been posted already) but I found it rather uplifting.

    I'll be damned if I'm going to cut my caffeine intake though. icon_mad.gif
  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    Apr 29, 2015 5:01 AM GMT
    1526371-trump.gif
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    Apr 29, 2015 5:04 AM GMT
    AMoonHawk said1526371-trump.gif


    I deserve that. icon_biggrin.gif
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    Apr 29, 2015 5:12 AM GMT
    yetanotherphil saidLink: "How Successful People Handle Toxic People"
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    Apr 29, 2015 5:14 AM GMT
    @yetanotherphi..., thanks for sharing!
  • metta

    Posts: 39167

    Apr 29, 2015 5:50 PM GMT
    yetanotherphil saidA somewhat judgmental title, I'll admit, but I thought it was a good read:

    http://goodmenproject.com/featured-content/how-successful-people-handle-toxic-people-fiff/

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    May 12, 2015 11:21 PM GMT
    buuuuuuuump.

    Deep breaths, everyone. Take up yoga, have a cup of tea, 69 with your boyfriend, go to the gym, whatever it takes. Don't let people who piss you off dominate your thoughts.
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    May 13, 2015 1:28 AM GMT
    yetanotherphil saidbuuuuuuuump.

    Deep breaths, everyone. Take up yoga, have a cup of tea, 69 with your boyfriend, go to the gym, whatever it takes. Don't let people who piss you off dominate your thoughts.
    Fireball helps, too. icon_razz.gif
    fireball.jpg
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    May 13, 2015 1:55 AM GMT

    Do the 3 times I have lost jobs due to my sexual orientation count?
    I am just getting tired of these homophobic toxic people within my chosen career path icon_confused.gif

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    May 13, 2015 2:06 AM GMT
    ELNathB said
    Do the 3 times I have lost jobs due to my sexual orientation count?
    I am just getting tired of these homophobic toxic people within my chosen career path icon_confused.gif



    That *sucks*; sorry to hear it. Mind if I ask what sort of engineering you're in? I've been super glad to find myself surrounded by open-minded and diverse engineers at my current job, but my last few were not quite such positive cultures.
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    May 13, 2015 2:41 AM GMT
    yetanotherphil said
    ELNathB said
    Do the 3 times I have lost jobs due to my sexual orientation count?
    I am just getting tired of these homophobic toxic people within my chosen career path icon_confused.gif



    That *sucks*; sorry to hear it. Mind if I ask what sort of engineering you're in? I've been super glad to find myself surrounded by open-minded and diverse engineers at my current job, but my last few were not quite such positive cultures.



    Its not so much my fellow coworkers that become "the problem" within the STEM (science, technology, engineering, math) fields. It appears the lower to mid management ranks feel the most threatened by known homosexuals who are subordinates to their power, especially if they are of the white, older, conservative labor pool (translation= Republican). While the executive ranks of management praise there diversity stance within their company, ie CEO, the mid to lower conservative management undermines that same message from their superiors, just more office politics, but in a devious sociopathic way. The important thing is to get a reporting manager who is not a homophobe or not a religious freak. But with all the "reorg", management is a crap shoot.
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    May 13, 2015 2:57 AM GMT
    ELNathB said
    yetanotherphil said
    ELNathB said
    Do the 3 times I have lost jobs due to my sexual orientation count?
    I am just getting tired of these homophobic toxic people within my chosen career path icon_confused.gif



    That *sucks*; sorry to hear it. Mind if I ask what sort of engineering you're in? I've been super glad to find myself surrounded by open-minded and diverse engineers at my current job, but my last few were not quite such positive cultures.



    Its not so much my fellow coworkers that become "the problem" within the STEM (science, technology, engineering, math) fields. It appears the lower to mid management ranks feel the most threatened by known homosexuals who are subordinates to their power, especially if they are of the white, older, conservative labor pool (translation= Republican). While the executive ranks of management praise there diversity stance within their company, ie CEO, the mid to lower conservative management undermines that same message from their superiors, just more office politics, but in a devious sociopathic way. The important thing is to get a reporting manager who is not a homophobe.


    Damn. That fits a number of organizations I've worked at to a tee in the central US, but somehow I'd hoped that I'd see less of it out here. I hope you've been able to find an environment that can appreciate your contributions.
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    May 13, 2015 3:26 AM GMT
    yetanotherphil said
    ELNathB said
    yetanotherphil said
    ELNathB said
    Do the 3 times I have lost jobs due to my sexual orientation count?
    I am just getting tired of these homophobic toxic people within my chosen career path icon_confused.gif



    That *sucks*; sorry to hear it. Mind if I ask what sort of engineering you're in? I've been super glad to find myself surrounded by open-minded and diverse engineers at my current job, but my last few were not quite such positive cultures.



    Its not so much my fellow coworkers that become "the problem" within the STEM (science, technology, engineering, math) fields. It appears the lower to mid management ranks feel the most threatened by known homosexuals who are subordinates to their power, especially if they are of the white, older, conservative labor pool (translation= Republican). While the executive ranks of management praise there diversity stance within their company, ie CEO, the mid to lower conservative management undermines that same message from their superiors, just more office politics, but in a devious sociopathic way. The important thing is to get a reporting manager who is not a homophobe.


    Damn. That fits a number of organizations I've worked at to a tee in the central US, but somehow I'd hoped that I'd see less of it out here. I hope you've been able to find an environment that can appreciate your contributions.


    Glad im not the only one, I have 20+ years invested in my current career, but three times of discrimination in this many years is too many dam times. Now age discrimination is upon me too. This STEM work environment has changed so much in the last decade, most jobs now are "entry level" with the low pay that goes along with it. I am sure I would be contributing far more of my share without the monetary reward behind it. Maybe dump this STEM field and go into paralegal studies. At least this way, I could fight off age discrimination, I would be "entry level", and I could still be my gay ole self while preparing legal briefs at a law firm that specializes in LGBT workplace discrimination. icon_confused.gif
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    May 13, 2015 3:35 AM GMT
    yetanotherphil saidbuuuuuuuump.

    Deep breaths, everyone. Take up yoga, have a cup of tea, 69 with your boyfriend, go to the gym, whatever it takes. Don't let people who piss you off dominate your thoughts.


    Here here!

    Living in NYC you encounter a lot of not so nice people on a daily basis, sometimes hourly basis. Let it go, not worth the mental energy to stew over why someone nearly mowed you down on the sidewalk, a rude cashier, etc... There's enough stress and toxic energy going around without adding to it.

    If being the change you want to see doesn't work, sometimes it's best to change the environment and people you're surrounded by.