First time hook up mixed feelings

• joethick
  
  Posts: 10
  
  
  May 01, 2015 7:58 PM GMT

  so i recently got with a guy for the first time, we sucked each other off, and i rimmed him. overall horrible experience! BUT i still find myself fantasizing about guys! i think I'm still gay but the whole experience makes me second guess it.
  
  any advice?
  
  did any of you go through something like this?

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  May 01, 2015 8:17 PM GMT

  Went through a "horrible" first time experience? - No; but it wasn't great, either.
  
  The first time for a lot(if not most)of guys is not exactly earth-shatteringly mind-blowing wonderful.
  
  What made it "horrible"? Whatever it was, make sure your "second" avoids those qualities.
  
  (I would say that if you fantasize about men, you are indeed gay, so I would hope that there should be a second, and many more, experiences in your future - just better ones.)

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  May 01, 2015 9:11 PM GMT

  We remember 2 things: our first love and our first Gay sex.
  
  Nice if it was the same person!
  But a lot of us want to get that first sexual experience under our belt. And we (OK me) are too impatient.
  
  When I was 15 I fell in love with my best friend. Sex was incidental innocent J/O. When I came out with my first Gay on Gay sex it was fraught with apprehension, clumsiness and no real experience. While not a total disaster it sent me back into the closet for 6 months.
  
  I was a (smart) chicken and he was a hawk. I was being used, intentionally. As I said...too impatient! LOL So later I came out again with a different set of standards: Men/boys who were compassionate, caring and patient.
  
  Skip the RED step. Too late? Just make better choices next time, it's all a learning experience.

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• SilverRRCloud
  
  Posts: 901
  
  
  May 02, 2015 5:19 AM GMT

  Guys,
  
  Practice makes perfect. Drop the Hollywood-induced notion of perfection achieved without any effort and investment. Like with all the other good things in life, you want to run tests and trials till you get that boat floating right.
  
  True, some people win the lottery. And some people out there will report their awesome first-time experience. More power to them. Yet, for the vast majority, first time sex is just what the word says: a first-timer.
  
  A good thing may be to part with the idea that sex MUST be a mind-shattering, earth-moving experience. At times, it is. At other times it is just a good, fulfilling experience, and sometimes it is just a very mediocre thing. OK,this dude got off, you got off, and we all quickly moved on kinda thing...
  
  SC

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  May 02, 2015 6:33 AM GMT

  What you see in pornos is FANTASY. All of the action is planned ahead of time. The producers shoot and re-shoot each scene until they're just right. More importantly, there's lots of editing.
  
  In porn every actor has a smokin' hot body - and a huge luscious cock which gets buried in the throat and slammed up the ass of another actor just rarin' to go & with insane skillz. Butt munching never gets interrupted because of the hole's not being perfectly clean. The guys bust a nut with perfect timing, with tremendous gushing loads, and only after totally wearing each other out.
  LIFE IS NOT PORN!
  
  Are you now a vegetarian because that burger you ate last night was undercooked and made you puke? Most gay sexual experiences - especially casual hookups between strangers - don't go perfectly. It doesn't mean what you are is gonna change.

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  May 02, 2015 7:31 AM GMT

  To answer the OP's 2nd question....no! My first time was with a guy I cared about and we were in a relationship for 3 years. If there's any advice I would give you (OP) is that find a guy whom you can have an emotional attachment with and the physical part will come naturally....including eating his ass!

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• mystery905
  
  Posts: 745
  
  
  May 02, 2015 3:06 PM GMT

  Each encounter will not be the same.
  
  Perhaps your one hookup wasn't a good one.
  
  My first experience wasn't good either. The guy gave me a blow job by actually blowing on my cock if you can believe that.

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  May 02, 2015 3:22 PM GMT

  mystery905 saidThe guy gave me a blow job by actually blowing on my cock if you can believe that.

  
  
  I believe it...had a guy do that to me too. He said that's always how he'd been blown... Went to my knees to show him how it was done and he lost his mind with orgasm... Then he tried and for his first real "suck" it was really good.
  
  But to the OP's point... First times can be horrible and awkward.. But don't let it sway you against having more times. They get better as you get more confident and comfortable. Practice makes perfect.

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• Destinharbor
  
  Posts: 4748
  
  
  May 02, 2015 3:52 PM GMT

  I agree with all the above. Good advice. But the rimming part, not all guys are into that. Some guys are. Giving or receiving. You may like to receive but not give or vice-versa. And that applies to just about every element of sex. It's ok to pick and choose from the menu. Stay focused on what your partner seems to like and want and hopefully he'll do the same. Sometimes you'll do something that's not your favorite thing just to please him but you're never required to do anything. Same for him. Find a nice guy and just have fun. That's always the best,

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  May 02, 2015 4:02 PM GMT

  mystery905 saidEach encounter will not be the same.
  
  Perhaps your one hookup wasn't a good one.
  
  My first experience wasn't good either. The guy gave me a blow job by actually blowing on my cock if you can believe that.

  
  
  For real though, you're blowing on it through your nostrils because there's no other way to breathe! HAHAHA I guess that's where the term derives from. Never considered sucking dick a job either, so ya got me on that one.
  
  OP, next time around have an actual conversation with the guy you're about to do it with. Most likely you're gonna first meet him online, so go back & forth w/messages a few times instead of just immediately meeting face to face then jumping in the sack. If it weren't for craigslist I'd have far FAR less experience than I do. Still can only imagine what it's like to go at it with somebody I'm legit close to or even LOVE, but mostly the journey's been good times.

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• Goodluckyman
  
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  May 02, 2015 9:11 PM GMT

  I have tried sex thinking the next will be better but mmmmmmmhh. May be it is not my thing. I will revert to watching.

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  May 02, 2015 9:40 PM GMT

  Just to add, some people are burdened with religious guilt and it takes a lifetime to get over it.
  
  Not just Gays either!

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  May 03, 2015 12:32 AM GMT

  the problem with hookups is just that.....they are hookups.....there is no emotional attachment, nothing to share other than impersonal sex. If you are looking for more then you are bound to feel disappointed, frustrated, empty....you name it....
  
  When you jerk off, you don't expect to sit down with your hand and share the day, your high and low points, and then spend time cuddling it and spooning....welcome to hookups....that's why they are referred to as NSA (no strings attached)....don't jade yourself...if you are looking for more, then stick with your hand until you can meet the right guy with whom you can grow and share....good luck bud.

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  May 03, 2015 12:38 AM GMT

  Rimmed him???
  you're first time out???
  Gross...
  
  at least he didn't try and beat the shit out of you.
  
  --maybe buy him diner first next time and splurge for the Best Western.
  A candle or flavored lube wouldn't hurt either.

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