Matthew, I seem to recall you've posted threads along these lines before. As always, I have no idea what you want to hear, and were it anything in particular I wish that you could share that, though I realize life is not usually that simple.
I do know this is a burden for you which I could never understand, and unfortunately one that is not likely to just go away. I suspect that the inner strength built by refusing to accept unfairness seems little comfort to you at this point.
But I also trust that that strength, tempered by the same emotional openness and sensitivity that makes your pain possible in the first place, will ultimately lead whatever love you seek to find you, and that you will appreciate each other all the more when that day comes. In the mean time, I hope you can find some solace in the knowledge that not only do this guy's misguided notions not define you, but that you can ultimately decide whose expectations, if anyone's, matter to you.
I know this probably doesn't help, but it's the best I can do. Don't give up hope.
Ha! Southbeach-style ninja bump!