Here here. After an initial rush of "sympathy," crickets.
I guess saying nothing and keeping your distance is better than feeling uncomfortable.
Not that I'd made anyone uncomfortable Facebooking during my chemo infusions. (Not that everyone was on social media then.)
Among our local friends, and his family, support for both of us during some difficult medical times was total and unremitting. And also from a lot of RJ members, with a few predicable exceptions, who were actually hostile & insulting.
And not only were our friends sympathetic, they were helpful. When I was with my husband at the hospital 12 hours a day they brought me food dishes at home late at night. So many in fact I couldn't eat them all. And they'd drive me back & forth to the hospital at times, because they knew I was becoming exhausted, and I really hate to drive at night.
When I was having my own cancer treatment for 6 weeks daily, having to leave the house every morning at 6:15 AM, sometimes they'd volunteer to drive me. Because I wasn't driving myself, and it was a strain on my husband. Who himself had to be at his HIV/AIDS job around 8, which he could barely make when he had to wait for me to complete my treatment, and then drive me home through morning traffic, before heading out for his office.
Now I never got get-well cards, I spent little time in the hospital and was already home before we'd told anyone. My husband's longer stays got him lots of cards, and visits, and flowers and fruit baskets, balloons, you name it. And visits to see him back home, too.
No, none of our friends ran away from us. Nor did we when they've had some problems of their own. We've both had cancer, and nobody treated us like outcasts, no "crickets". And I didn't miss the cards, because I'm not a "card person" - instead I valued more the genuine help I got that was "above and beyond the call of duty".