Devout Christian and Bi

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    May 07, 2015 2:45 AM GMT
    Hey guys,
    I am slowly coming out of the closet, but it has been a tough road. I am a devout Christian and God means everything to me. I know I was born this way, being attracted to men, I don;t feel guilty about that. But, the older I get the more my sexual desires for men increases. Are any of you on here feeling the same or can you advise me?
    Please dont reply bashing Christianity, this is a serious issue for me, it might not be for you, but please be respectful.
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    May 07, 2015 3:05 AM GMT
    Do you think it's wrong to be gay or bi?
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    May 07, 2015 3:11 AM GMT
    Hey, thanks for the reply.
    I don't but I feel like the world is so polarized that I feel like if I do live a bi life Christians won't get me, not all, I know, there are many gay friendly Christians. But also at the same time, I will also get backlash from the bi and gay community who think all Christians are idiots..plus, only 2 people in my life know I'm bi.
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    May 07, 2015 3:16 AM GMT
    I wasn't raised with a religion and even I didn't feel comfortable with my sexuality either. I don't know why since I was raised to think being gay is fine, which I did, but on a personal level it still felt 'weird' for a while. Gay people can definitely be as ignorant as anyone else though, and if some gay people have such a problem with your beliefs, then at least you would know those aren't the types you would want in your life. There's still plenty of others that wouldn't have a problem with your beliefs icon_smile.gif
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    May 07, 2015 3:30 AM GMT
    Your religion is part of who you are and if it's important to you, you can't care much about what anyone thinks of you for it. To be gay or bi and a Christian (I'm non-denominational) requires you to have a thick skin to handle what you will get from both sides. Not everyone has to get you and not everyone needs to get you, which is why only people who are really important to you are worth coming out to.
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    May 07, 2015 3:31 AM GMT
    @ YETANOTHERPHIL
    Thanks for your response, I didn;t post the question to mean I am against people's opinions, what I did mean was for people not to disrespect my religion. I have no problem with someone saying they don't agree with Christianity's views, but I didn;t want it to turn into bashing of it. I hope that makes sense.

    @ Marmoy
    Thanks, how long did it take you to feel comfortable?
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    May 07, 2015 3:32 AM GMT
    There are many churches that welcome gays, and don't quote condemning scriptures from Leviticus while conveniently leaving out the other practices that Leviticus also condemns to death (eating shellfish, wearing mixed fabrics, adultery, etc).

    If you're having trouble reconciling your religion with your natural self, try visiting other churches.

    Now for the funny part...this is all from a former Christian, turned atheist. icon_wink.gif
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    May 07, 2015 3:36 AM GMT
    @JAMES_THUNDER_EARLY
    Thanks, I am non denom too. I also don't want to sleep around either, so I am kinda confussed as to it all. This is all so brand new for me, just slowly coming out now, ya know.

    @ paulflexes
    Thanks for the response,
    If I may ask, what made you become an atheist? Was it the attitudes of the Christians?
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    May 07, 2015 3:44 AM GMT
    Nomad said@ paulflexes
    Thanks for the response,
    If I may ask, what made you become an atheist? Was it the attitudes of the Christians?
    No, I was too naive to notice that at a younger age.

    Being raised Church of Christ - which doesn't believe in instrumental music during worship - my first clue that religion had it all wrong was when I learned to play the piano at an early age and realized it was a natural talent for me. I play by ear as well as sheet music, and also write/compose music. That was a tough one to swallow cause I wasn't allowed to use my talents to serve the lord.

    After high school I started doing more research about, well, everything, and came to the conclusion that all religious texts were originally written by leaders and used to control the people. Religions were popularized because of the existential crisis that people face when they're aware of their own mortality, and religion gives them a way to keep living after death.

    I could go into way more detail, but it took years for me to make the switch. Now I don't believe in any religious texts, so I identify as atheist. However, if someone asked me if a metaphysical being created the universe, I'd have to say "I don't know" so that sorta makes me agnostic...but only about our origin, not about religious texts.
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    May 07, 2015 3:49 AM GMT
    @paulflexes
    Wow, thanks. Do you ever feel a calling back to Christianity?
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    May 07, 2015 3:50 AM GMT
    Nomad said@paulflexes
    Wow, thanks. Do you ever feel a calling back to Christianity?
    Oh hell no! icon_eek.gificon_lol.gif
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    May 07, 2015 3:51 AM GMT
    I do, however, feel a calling to explain my views and how I came about adopting them.
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    May 07, 2015 3:52 AM GMT
    @ paulflexes
    How did your religious family take the news of you being gay? How old were you when you came out? Did you have anxiety about it? Sorry for all these questions, I just need advice
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    May 07, 2015 4:00 AM GMT
    Nomad said@ paulflexes
    How did your religious family take the news of you being gay?

    Mother: Sadness, which still continues to this day, but she still loves me and we talk regularly.
    Father: Raised his fist to hit me, to which I promptly reminded him of all the shotguns and rifles in the house, and that he has to sleep sometime. (well he did raise me to defend myself from bullies) icon_twisted.gif

    Nomad saidHow old were you when you came out?
    21

    Nomad saidDid you have anxiety about it?
    I used to, but finally realized that they're old and set in their ways (not to mention from a very small town with little outside influence).

    Nomad saidSorry for all these questions, I just need advice
    Sounds to me like you're going through the same stuff I went through. If I had internet in the early 90's (when I came out) I woulda been a total nutcase online. icon_lol.gif
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    May 07, 2015 4:02 AM GMT
    i consider myself more spiritual than religious, but i think you can happily be both bi and christian. i know plenty of people who are. your sexuality and faith are both big parts of who you are. don't let religious people make you feel bad for being bi, and don't let lgbt people bash you because of your faith. both will definitely try. just tell anyone who has a problem to kiss your ass. it's not the christian thing to do, but it's certainly the gay way. icon_lol.gif
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    May 07, 2015 4:04 AM GMT
    CODY4U said... just tell anyone who has a problem to kiss your ass. it's not the christian thing to do, but it's certainly the gay way. icon_lol.gif
    The Christian thing to do is to whip them like Jesus did when folks turned his tabernacle into a trading post (kinda like many churches today). icon_wink.gif
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    May 07, 2015 5:02 AM GMT
    icon_rolleyes.gif If your death cult is in conflict with reality, you have to reject one or the other. You can't have it both ways. That would be insane.

    .... Oh, wait. Never mind. icon_confused.gif
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    May 07, 2015 11:46 AM GMT
    @paulflexes

    Not all Christians are that bad, lol
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    May 07, 2015 12:38 PM GMT
    Nomad said@paulflexes

    Not all Christians are that bad, lol


    Of course not. There are Gay churches: Dignity (a Gay Catholic group), MCC Metropolitan Community Church and Episcopalians are notably more accepting.

    Religion is very personal. Find a church that connects with you. The Southern Baptists, Evangelicals and all the crazy ones are best left alone. Being Gay and trying to exist under those rules and attitudes would never end well.
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    May 07, 2015 12:46 PM GMT
    @ timmm55
    Thanks :-)
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    May 07, 2015 12:56 PM GMT
    Nomad said@paulflexes

    Not all Christians are that bad, lol
    Oh I know. There are some very good Christians on this site...and Muslims, and Hindus, and Buddhists, etc. icon_wink.gif
  • roadbikeRob

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    May 07, 2015 1:02 PM GMT
    Nomad said@paulflexes

    Not all Christians are that bad, lol
    A very good, valid point.


    Consider yourself very fortunate living in one of the most diverse and gay friendly cities in the world and in one of the most open minded and accepting countries in the world. Count your blessings. Also keep the teachings of Jesus in mind since he never condemned anyone.
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    May 07, 2015 1:34 PM GMT
    @ roadbikeRob
    You are right! I live in Toronto which is so gay friendly, lol
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    May 07, 2015 3:13 PM GMT
    some excellent non condemning advice here. There is an old adage that the Evangelical's like to throw around that comes back often to bite them in the ass 'Follow Christ, not Christians'.......

    Make your peace with Him, not with a church that has spent the last 2000 years bastardizing what he said....and then, you will realize how Mary Magdalene felt....

    Remember the 'personal relationship' part....that's all that counts, the rest is just corporate bullshit...

    take your sexuality a day at a time, come out at your pace, ask lots of questions, read lots, make your own decisions.....and be able to separate the wheat from the chaff.....

    best of luck to you
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    May 07, 2015 3:41 PM GMT



    I'm Christian, Nomad. I think I know what it is you're looking for here. It would require me post up some scripture and dissect it here for you. Romans is a classic.


    ....however, I believe you will have to consider that everyone's path is uniquely their own. Those Christians that won't agree with your faith and reasoning you will simply have to accept as THEIR path, and the mistake they make is that they feel all must follow that same path.

    Anyways, Romans, which is the favourite Christian clobber passage of gays. Unfortunately for those weilding it, they fail to consider the beginning of that Romans passage where a specific group of STRAIGHT people turned from God and made idols of people with animals heads etc to worship. They performed unnatural sexual acts in celebration. God gave them up to their own devices.

    I remind the bible thumpers of this, and ask them to explain how a great many kids brought up in completely Christian environs, and who are Christians, turn out gay. No idols, no pagan worship, no unnatural sexual activities (which translates as activities FOREIGN to what's natural to YOU) and yet gay.

    At this point there are red perplexed faces.

    IN the meantime, I would greatly like you to read this fellow, who I consider a friend- a straight Christian Pastor who is rocketing to fame for his views.

    You will definitely enjoy this:
    http://johnpavlovitz.com/2014/09/17/if-i-have-gay-children-four-promises-from-a-christian-pastorparent/